I’ve developed a new shadow this week, in the form of a young boy. Since my kids are adults now, I am really not good at guessing ages. He is old enough to ride a bike and is learning to ride a skateboard, and he has really good manners, but he is YOUNG. Maybe 7 or 8? I keep forgetting to ask.
A few weeks ago, when I was walking SNUFF my German Shepherd, the little boy said, “Excuse me Ma’am, may I pet your dog?” I told him that I did not think it was a good idea because Snuff was “working” and she is kind of protective of me while she is on the job. I then thanked him for asking and continued on my way.
The following week when Danica and I were taking a walk in the evening, the little boy was outside with an older person (older than him younger than me) boy I am bad at ages. I would have guessed the other young man was 18 or 19. Both boys said Hello to us as we were passing. I took a minute to stop and tell the older boy (maybe his father?) that the younger one had incredible manners. (something I always loved to hear about my kids, because they didn’t have those incredible manners at home) We talked for a few minutes, and I told the older boy (his brother) that if the younger one still wanted to meet Snuff, that he and their parent could come to my house, where my dog would be more relaxed.
They have not come by. shrug?
The other day, I was walking D.O.G. and the younger boy ran out of his house asking if he could pet my other dog. D.O.G. is friendly as hell, so I stopped and said, “Okay, sure.” After about 5 minutes, I told him I needed to finish my walk, and tried to say Goodbye. The little guy, I now know his name is Dalton, started following me and he hasn’t stopped. Every day I pass his house and he runs outside yelling, “Good morning, Ms. Grace”. It’s cute, he’s sweet. So why is this a problem?
Because he keeps following me home. I’ve tried to tell him that he can not come to my house without a parent, (who I have yet to meet) or his older brother. I feel bad. We live in a way different world than when my kids were younger, and I was the Kool-aid house. I am sad that this little boy is alone so much, but I don’t want to be a babysitter. I also don’t want him hanging around my house waiting for me or the dogs to come outside and get hurt.
I’ve thought about stopping at his house one night and asking to meet his mom, but (1) I don’t want to get him in trouble for being bored, and (2) what if I find out he is alone all day, am I morally obligated to do something? I really really really don’t want to “involved”, but that’s what I do.
What would you do?
MS Graceful...NOT! 
I’m going to cop out here and say I would do whatever felt like the right thing to do. I suspect you are right that he might lonely and alone, but you are also right about the circumstances. You are going to have enough on your hands in six months Granny (I had to get that in – promise it will be the last time I use that term) and you don’t need to adopt this kid.
You are a magnet though, aren’t you?
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LOL, I will let the “granny” slide THIS TIME! I was talking with Thing 2’s boyfriend a few minutes ago, and he suggested I keep my boundaries, and gently ask Dalton if he’s alone all day. Yes I am fricking magnetic 😛
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I’d be inclined to keep doing what you’re doing and hope you meet one or both parental units eventually, although I can understand your concern with having him hang around all the time. The sad thing is the world we live in hasn’t gotten worse; we just know more. Statistically the chances of a stranger hurting a child are small, but I understand parents being protective–no parent wants or deserves for their kid to be a statistic.
A woman I know recently told me she’s trying to find jokes to entertain her son. I asked, “How old is he?” She said four and I said, “Oh, here’s one: two lesbians walk into a bar…”
Yeah, I’m also bad at ages.
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I am a little slow sometimes Chris, ok alot of the time, but I have learned DO NOT DRINK ANYTHING while reading your comments
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Even though I agree with boundaries, I think it would also be a good idea to stop by and meet the kids parents. That way you can discuss boundaries that they can talk with him about as well. Beside, maybe you’ll end up with a dog walker for when you’re not up to it.
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Agreed.
Btw, who’s Danica?
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In short, a very good girl friend of mine
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If you ask Dalton where his mom or brother are when you see him during the day — what would he say?
Are there other kids in the neighborhood?
Could you help him find a few people that need chores done ? (Meet mom/dad in that scenario)
Could he walk D.O.G.??
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Good questions Jen! I haven’t really lived here that long, and now that I think about it, I really don’t know many of the people in my neighborhood and NO BODY goes outside anymore. Definitely things to ponder ty 🙂
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Unfortunately, you may already be involved. I would definitely talk to the parents.
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yah your comment went through!!!!! Yes I think I will be meeting them soon
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I think because you are such a loving person you are a magnet for little ones! It sounds like this little boy is lonely and craving attention from someone of a mother figure. I think parents now days neglect their children causing them to reach out. You are very right telling him not to come to your house. I know he is a little boy, but the world is crazy now and you can never assume things will go how you want them to. Children often make accusations and it is normally for attention. You need to protect yourself sweetie! Have you ever asked where his parents are?
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I’m in “hiding” for the next few days, because I am way overdue for my tysabri infusion (gotta love insurance bs, and I have no strength to do anything, but yes I will ask him more about his parents next time he finds me.
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Aw that is incredibly sweet! I can see the issue with this though and a boy following you home has the potential for problems, so it’s best to err on the safe side. I think that being firm about boundaries, that he can pet D.O.G and if he wishes to visit he can do so with a parent, is the best route. But other than that..? I have to agree with a comment above about protecting yourself, as sad as it is to know we live in such a world where cynicism comes first. Asking about his parents is a starting point… I’m quite divided on this because on the one hand I’m totally ‘aw so sweet’, and on the other there are warning flags and thoughts of how this could end up going a different way entirely. Let us know how you get on if you ask about his parents. xx
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As ever, friends of all ages etc. everywhere you go, Grace! You are a shining light! I would, in this case, talk to his parents. I think. You have to do whatever you think is right.
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I’d be cautious. He probably needs a mom.
Who is Danica? You probably mentioned it but I don’t remember. It sounds Serbian.
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Yah! School is back in session. I did go meet his mom one day which just encouraged him to come by my house more frequently. It’s not that I didn’t like the kid, I didn’t like all of the what if’s , if you know what I mean
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I so do, so again…be careful. You never know…sometimes you don’t need to.
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Sorry, Danica is a girlfriend of mine. I don’t think it’s serbian, tbh I’ve never asked
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Why don’t you ask? It’s a typical name from the Balkans, and the name of a star. A beautiful name.
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