Well that didn’t go as planned

Well that didn’t go as planned.   I never made it back to the computer yesterday. While finishing my coffee, I was reading a frantic post from a fellow MSer in one of the FB groups I belong to.  She was scared and having a panic attack.  (I really hate those!!)  One cup of coffee turned into 2 and so on.  Once this person was calmed down, I felt better.  I don’t know if I am the one who helped her or not, but I felt better that at least I tried.

After I finally showered, my old neighbor called and reminded me that I had asked her to go for a walk because I am trying to lose weight, an old friend called reminding me that I still had not met his 5 month old foster daughter and he finally had a day off of work so I could, and the bedding that I had to wash turned into 6 other loads of laundry.  Considering that just getting out of bed some days is tough, I had a very productive day.

By the end of the day…

I did walk almost ½ a mile before needing assistance.  (the goal for this year is to increase that to a mile)

I had an incredible visit with my friend and his kiddos.

I substituted a newly purchased e cig for a couple of cigarettes

Most importantly though, I remembered that Tomorrow would be a new day and to focus on what I had accomplished instead of what didn’t get done.

By the beginning of next week I hope to have more focused goals for losing weight, quitting smoking, watching a few more wordpress videos, and making a budget.

Not a total loss

I meant to post this yesterday……

I went to bed last night looking forward to today.  I even laughed when I realized I was looking forward to a Monday.  Who does that?!?!?  I was looking forward to it because I don’t have any doctor appointments today.  The weather is supposed to be great.  I have a new laptop and I was going to spend more time learning about wordpress.  YAH Good day!

And then I woke up SOAKED in my own urine.  I mean soaked.  Not just me, all of my blankets, my clothes, even some on my pillow…..ARGH!!!   My first thoughts are SON OF A BITCH! SERIOUSLY?!?!? WTF?!?!? There goes my day!!!!  If I can find a dry spot this is where I am spending my day.

And then I remember my dogs are here.  So I drag my ass out of bed, throw my nightgown in the mess, Depends in the trash and head to the toilet.  Oh yeah that’s right, I’m supposed to track my input and output today. Gggggrrrr where is that nurses hat?!?!?  Damn I need coffee.

I find the nurses hat, 500 cc’s check and head down the hall to let the dogs out and feed them.  I hit the button on the coffee maker, throw a towel on my chair and sit.  ☹

My thoughts are racing, my moods are swinging, so I sit.  As I wait for the coffee to finish, I look at my legs.  The bruising and road rash from my latest fall are starting to fade hmmm well that’s a plus.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, SEVERAL actually.  Now what?

I open up a blank page in word and start typing.  (^^^^^)

Yah coffee is starting to kick in, dogs have been fed, a message from my youngest popped up in messenger “ I love you, Mom”, and I realize my anger is starting to fade a bit.  My thoughts are still racing, but they are starting to change.  Hey dumb ass, quit feeling sorry for yourself.  It’s only 8:30.

You have managed to get out of bed.  The dogs are fed.  You do have a washing machine.  I even chuckle about that (I will explain later) Start thinking about how you are going to save this day. This isn’t the first time it’s happened.  A light bulb clicks on….I think I know what I am going to write about today.  But first,

I’m going to finish my coffee, smoke another cigarette, take a shower, brush my teeth and start some laundry.  Close word, sign off the computer and go.  I WILL be back.