When you have dealt with chronic illness for most of your life, your daily challenges become your ‘new normal’. I ‘forget’ that I walk funny. Falling down is just something hat happens. The fact that you are on a first name basis with most of your medical team ( including the water delivery guy) is not strange. I forget that most people don’t have to wear a pad every day in case of bladder leaks. ETC ETC ETC
I have long ago given up doing things where there are a lot of people in small spaces. Life just got to a point that it became no fun having to stand in long lines to use a restroom, only to not make it there anyway. In large groups, there never seem to be enough places to sit when I need to rest. etc etc etc
It’s all good. I have made my adjustments and accept that this is how life is for me now. I know which activities trigger my body to flare up and I automatically and unconsciously avoid them. I didn’t even realize that I had made those adjustments to my life. I don’t feel that I have been missing out on anything, I just do life differently that a lot of people.
Would you get to the point already GRACE?!?!?!?
My point is that I forgot that I am sick. I forgot that my immune system is shot. I forgot that I should be nervous everytime someone coughs, or sneezes around me and now I am really sick. I have not been able to get my fever down since the morning I woke up after getting back from Italy. Initially, I thought the body aches were jet lag. Other than the brief cat naps on the plane, I had not slept in 24 hours. Maybe my body hurt from the awkward positions I tried to sleep in?
I took a couple advil, but the aches just got stronger…. I slept for 12 hours straight and woke up completely drenched in sweat. I have been taking Advil and Tylenol every 3 hours trying to get comfortable, yet the fever will not down for more than an hour. As I lay in bed today, I realized that this kind of illness happens to me when ever I am around large groups of people. The last time I felt anything like this was after Thing One’s Wedding where I literally lost a whole week to being a zombie on the couch.
When I got back from Boston last year, I was also “down for a few days”. The only thing that all of these occasions have in common is that I was around a lot of people. Today, well the last two hours, I feel fantastic (total bullshit) but I can move a little easier and stayed out of bed for a full hour. See what I mean about making things your new normal? God I hope not!
It’s been nice forgetting that I am sick for all these years, but maybe it’s time I find a new way to deal with large social situations. I don’t want to have to pay for them for days afterwards. Do you notice the same thing happens to you? How do you avoid getting sick on top of being sick?