Sometimes I “forget” that I am sick

When you have dealt with chronic illness for most of your life, your daily challenges become your ‘new normal’.  I ‘forget’ that I walk funny.  Falling down is just something hat happens.  The fact that you are on a first name basis with most of your medical team ( including the water delivery guy) is not strange. I forget that most people don’t have to wear a pad every day in case of bladder leaks.  ETC ETC ETC

I have long ago given up doing things where there are a lot of people in small spaces.  Life just got to a point that it became no fun having to stand in long lines to use a restroom, only to not make it there anyway.  In large groups, there never seem to be enough places to sit when I need to rest. etc etc etc

It’s all good.  I have made my adjustments and accept that this is how life is for me now.  I know which activities trigger my body to flare up and I automatically and unconsciously avoid them.   I didn’t even realize that I had made those adjustments to my life.  I don’t feel that I have been missing out on anything, I just do life differently that a lot of people.

Would you get to the point already GRACE?!?!?!?

My point is that I forgot that I am sick.  I forgot that my immune system is shot.  I forgot that I should be nervous everytime someone coughs, or sneezes around me  and now I am really sick.  I have not been able to get my fever down since the morning I woke up after getting back from Italy.  Initially, I thought the body aches were jet lag.  Other than the brief cat naps on the plane, I had not slept in 24 hours.  Maybe my body hurt from the awkward positions I tried to sleep in?

I took a couple advil, but the aches just got stronger…. I slept for 12 hours straight and woke up completely drenched in sweat.  I have been taking Advil and Tylenol every 3 hours trying to get comfortable, yet the fever will not down for more than an hour.  As I lay in bed today, I realized that this kind of illness happens to me when ever I am around large groups of people.  The last time I felt anything like this was after Thing One’s Wedding where I literally lost a whole week to being a zombie on the couch.

When  I got back from Boston last year, I was also “down for a few days”.  The only thing that all of these occasions have in common is that I was around a lot of people.  Today, well the last two hours, I feel fantastic (total bullshit) but I can move a little easier and stayed out of bed for a full hour.  See what I mean about making things your new normal?  God I hope not!

It’s been nice forgetting that I am sick for all these years, but maybe it’s time I find a new way to deal with large social situations.  I don’t want to have to pay for them for days afterwards.  Do you notice the same thing happens to you?  How do you avoid getting sick on top of being sick?

15 thoughts on “Sometimes I “forget” that I am sick

  1. I’m the exact opposite. I rarely get sick anymore, which is shocking to me because once diagnosed and I started taking all this shit to suppress my immune system, I figured I would catch everything from everybody. The opposite has turned out to be true, Hope I just didn’t jinx myself.

    Hope you are back to your normal, kick-ass take no prisoners self soon. Will have to touch base soon so you can tell me all about Italy

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    1. Normally that is the case for me too Steve. I’m so cocky that someone sneezes near me and when they apologize I reply, “no biggie I don’t get colds and such, only the really big shit like cancer and ms”… to be honest I think I’ve only said that a couple time…but this shit is for the birds and it seems to be coming a “thing” 😦

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  2. Sorry you’re feeling poorly. It’s amazing the things we just get accustomed to. A certain level of pain a certain way of doing things or not doing them and on and on. It’s strange how we’re able to morph into someone other than the person we’ve been previously.its downright odd to take a long look and realize this has happened, but the mind is a serious defense mechanism. I’m good with that explanation I suppose. Wishing you a speedy recovery. If I was closer I’d bring you some soup and ginger tea.

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  3. Oh, Grace, feel better quick and soon! I don’t have any way to compare to what you go through, but I often avoid large crowd situations for much the same reason: bathroom (or beer) lines. I’ve been invited many times to head down to SF to watch the Rams play (they play the Niners there every year) and I always turn it down. My favorite seat for the game is at home, near the beer fridge and the two (almost always vacant) restrooms. 😉

    So sorry you’re going through this. Again, feel better quick!

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  4. I’m so sorry to hear this Grace. You know that I know exactly what you are speaking of.
    I hope you feel better soon, can’t wait to hear about your trip.
    The way I look at it, if you were mindful of being sick, you may not have had as much fun. Which I can;t wait to hear about

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  5. Oh I’m so sorry! I have a friend with a chronic illness who went on vacation at the beginning of May and she got so sick that she was off work for over two weeks! It really puts a damper on the fun you have on vacation when you have to suffer consequences like that. Get well soon!

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  6. I can feel your pain. No. Really. I am not sick. I am 87 and disabled. I cannot walk without a walker. When I try it’s like trying to imitate a lop-sided troll. And pads, oh yes. I stay away from large crowds because I know I’ll have to go and there’s nowhere near to change my pad. I am sorry your autoimmune system is acting up. I do not believe in a God who looks over our shoulders but FWIW I am praying for you to have good health and enjoy life even with its adjustments.

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  7. Oh Grace, I’m sorry you’re feeling so rough. When I’ve got sick on top of being sick, I don’t think there’s really been any rhyme or reason for it, per se. I know when I get stressy I feel worse in general (which seems to be all the bloody time lately) and if I’ve done bigger things, like going out for a day, I pay for it after with feeling horrible plus more pain and fatigue. Sickness, like tummy bugs and flus and fevers seem to hit out of the blue. Adapting to that is easier said than done because it’s utterly miserable, but at the same time, when you’re caught in it and feeling beyond horrific, you’re more appreciative of the ‘better’ days and your usual baseline. I wish I could do something to help… Sending hugs, rest up lovely ♥
    Caz xx

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    1. Maybe its a good thing that we sometimes forget? Now that I am feeling better I feel like I was a teenager who got caught sneaking out and was grounded to my room for a few days. It was worth it!
      I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so stressed lately. If talking helps, please know that I am here.

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