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OMG Grace! Is that ALL you do….. talk about your foot?

Well that’s not ALL that I talk about, but since there is not much that I can do without it  affecting me, yes I talk about my foot A LOT.  And my wheelchair, but I have that because of my foot, so I guess it’s about the same huh?

I promise to write about something other than my foot soon, but first I would like to share some updates for anyone that is interested.

0402201617First of all, I have now been casted in every different color material available.  Who would have thought that something like that would go on my list of “achievements”?!?!?0402201529

Secondly,  while there is still no end in sight about the amount of time I will be non- weight bearing and in a cast, the incisions appear to be healing well and I am no longer in much pain.

0422201927Third, while I swear I have not put any weight on my right foot, I can’t say that I haven’t been a bit self destructive during my recovery. Not only did I have a bit of an obsession with tearing apart one of my casts, but I also attempted to go down two stairs by myself and ended up being launched from the wheelchair.  Thankfully, the doctor said the x-rays showed the only damage I did was to my pride.  Yay for me!!!!

Thank you for taking the time to stop by today.  If you have a few more minutes, would you mind sharing your longest to recover from injury?  Did you follow doctor’s orders? I look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

 

What the hell was I thinking?

DO NOT SCHEDULE 2 MRI’S ON THE SAME DAY!!!!!

I know better!  I’ve even written about it in…. Not the Tube.   Of course, I didn’t listen to myself. SMH  Then again, when I do listen to myself, I often make bad decisions.  When your done reading and or watching please share your opinion about whether YOU think I should listen to myself.  I’m pretty sure the answer is not a simple Yes or no.

Ok, so my dumb ass not only scheduled two MRI’s for the same day, but I also attempted to do it drug free.  I will NOT be doing that again!  In fact, I’m pretty sure the hospital put a great big caution sign in my chart saying that I have to be sedated. SMH again

Thing 2 picked me up on Friday and drove me to the hospital for the procedures.  I found that she REALLY enjoys pushing me in the wheelchair.  ( into the curb, into the wall etc)  I went through my 200 question checklist about whether I had metal implants, tattoos, etc in or on my body and was surprisingly ok’d to get in the tube.  Then the nurse asked if I was claustrophobic.  Um yeah….”OH SHIT, how had I forgotten to take the medication?!!??!?”  She told me they could reschedule the MRI, or I could take the medication and wait 45 minutes for the medication to take effect.

I TOLD her I would be fine as long as the tech talked to me between pictures.  SHIT SHIT SHIT!  As she wheeled me to the dressing room to change into the scrubs they provide, I could feel my anxiety increasing, and discreetly slipped a xanax into my mouth. Work work work!

The MRI tech was back within moments to take me to the MRI room.  I’m sure the terror I was feeling (yes terror) showed on my face when he also asked me if I was claustrophobic, but I also told him I would be “ok” as long as he talked to me between pictures.  (I told him all 5x that he asked me)

I wasn’t ok.  I freaked out!  I pushed the panic button before the first set of pictures where complete.  I passed out before he pulled me out of the machine, and vomited on the floor as soon as I came to. SMH again.

Fortunately, the MRI department was very forgiving and not busy that day.  They cleaned my mess, and allowed me to clean myself up.  They told me if I wanted to take medication I still could, but I would have to wait 45 minutes for it to take effect before we could try again.  Perfect! I thought.  I would probably only need another 25 minutes to be “calmer” since I had already taken one, but the least I could do was wait 45 minutes after the ordeal I caused.  Unfortunately, they needed to see me take the medication.  Ah fuck!

Um OK.  I do know that I CAN take two pills, as I have previously been prescribed a higher dose, but I also know that it pretty much puts me ‘out’ for the evening.  So OF COURSE, I made Bad decision number 3, (if you’re counting) and took the pill.  While waiting to retry the MRI, I noticed an empty wheelchair in the hallway, and asked Thing 2 if she would like to have a race or 2.

We did.  Here is the video to the only race I may have won (my foot dropped and I think I may have pushed off).  Wheelchair race  After several races, (I encouraged other patients and visitors to get involved as well)  I did survive the two MRI’s to test for PML and am waiting to hear the results.

So what’s your opinion?  Should I listen to myself or not? 😉

Hey, I’m doin alright….

I woke up this morning in a bit of a panic thinking,  “Que dia es hoy”?

I’m not sure why I always ask that in Spanish, but I do.

What day is today?!?!?!?

My brain raced through all the things I have or had to do this week.

Check Check Check.

Deep sigh of relief…

Ah It’s Friday!  I don’t have to be anywhere until 3:15 pm!!!!

I closed my eyes, prepared to go back to sleep, but then it hit me.

Today’s a GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!!!

I quickly got out of bed and into the wheelchair to head to the bathroom. Next, I wheeled to the kitchen to hit the button on the coffee maker, and finally to the porch to let D.O.G. out.  As I sat staring at the coffee maker urging it to produce faster, another thought popped into my mind.  At yesterday’s appointment with the orthopedic surgeon, I was given the go ahead to begin taking steps as tolerated while in the CAM boot.  I  jumped up and down!!!! (figuratively not literally)

I quickly raced back into my bedroom and took off the surgical shoe that I sleep in, and donned the knee high cam boot that I used to abhor.  THEN

I STOOD UP and took a step  WOW that hurt!!!

I sat back down in the wheelchair and headed back to the kitchen for Coffee.  (That was two hours ago and I’m still on a It’s a Great Day to be Alive High)

Yes the foot thing is great news, but to be honest it’s not the reason for the high.  My non drug induced High is because I survived a really rough week and lived to tell about it.

I almost thought about turning on the video camera to tell you about the week I have had, because I can talk so much faster than I can type,  But 1 I need a shower badly and 2 I think I am so Happy the words would come out too fast and they wouldn’t be comprehensible anyway.  So instead, I would like to give a brief summary of the week and go into more detail in the future.

Monday

I had surgery for Botox injections in my bladder.  For the first time ever, the anesthesiologist let me stay awake while they finished setting up in the OR.  I have had this surgery at least 2 times a year for the last 10 years, and although I have asked repeatedly not to be put out, I’ve never made it awake longer than a few minutes in the Operating Room.  Spoiler Alert…this MAY be the last time I have to have this surgery!!!!! (More about this next week?)

Tuesday

I woke up on time for my scheduled hearing with the IL Dept of Public Aide!  (That in itself was impressive considering I didn’t get home from the hospital until 9:30 p.m. Monday night)  I have been FIGHTING with the state for many years and finally requested a hearing to resolve the issues.  Spoiler Alert… MAYBE it worked out in my favor?

Wednesday

This was Not my day.  I mean I was not the patient on this day.  I think I have said numerous times that I would rather “take the hit or the pain” than to have my loved ones have to feel it.  Today was my Dad’s day.  I’m still not sure what is appropriate to share about my father’s condition so I will be brief.  Over the last year and a half, my father has been having numerous issues with his vision.  Together we have seen more than 10 specialists looking for help and answers.  While the ‘mystery’ is not solved, Wednesday we received some hope.  I’m gonna leave it there and hold onto the hope awhile longer.

Thursday

I mentioned that above.  I can begin walking!  Since I began writing this post I have taken a few steps.  I’m weak and wobbly, but a step forward is good one so I will take it.  BABY STEPS!!!!

Completely random subject change here… My grandsons have begun taking their first steps while holding onto or pushing things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Super exciting!!!!!

Friday (Today)

2 MRI’s at 3 :15.  Although I’m not looking forward to the tube, Thing 2 will be taking me and it will give me more answers to what my next step (see the funny) with my MS will be.

So yay! Today is Friday and it’s a GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For the off chance that anyone is NOT having a Great day, give this song a listen to, and see if it perks you up a bit.  (It’s actually my Not having a great day song, but it does pump me up.) It’s a great day to whoop somebody’s ass!

Happy Friday Everyone!  See you next week!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bathroom issues of a new variety…

If you have spent ANY time around me, you know that I have many, many bathroom issues/stories.

I ALWAYS have to know where all the bathrooms are everywhere.

I may not be able to tell you the name of the street we are on, but I can almost guarantee you that I can tell you the names of most of the businesses that have a public restroom AND where it is located.

I’ve made friends in bathrooms.

I’ve been in a couple of fights in bathrooms.

I’ve also broken up fights in bathrooms.

I’ve ….maybe you don’t need to know EVERYTHING I’ve done in the bathroom.

Anyway,  I’d like to tell you about my latest ‘bathroom adventure’ for no reason other than I hope to make you smile, maybe even chuckle a little.

Setting the stage:

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As you may know I am current in a wheelchair.

Because it is hopefully not a permanent situation, I have been lax about buying or building a Ramp to cross the 3 inch drop into my bathroom.

 

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As you can see, the toilet is a long long way from the door.

In the beginning of my “adaptation”, I would park my wheelchair at the door, then use crutches to make it across the floor to the toilet.

That worked fine until the one day, I slipped….

(I’ve fallen and I  can’t get up)

So NOW I have a second wheelchair parked IN the bathroom.

 

 

To recap, I wheel my primary chair to the door.

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I Carefully put on the wheelchair brakes and switch to the 2nd wheelchair, and go from there.  ( Yes there is a story in there too, but I digress)

Simple enough right?

 

Sure……….. until you add more characters to the story.

0122201842a

The other day, I was playing with my grandsons in the living room, when my body decided it URGENTLY needed to use the facilities.  I quickly wheeled to the bathroom, did the quick wheelchair swap, and made it to the toilet, JUST IN TIME.

As I let out the breath I had been holding I hear 2 sets of pitter patter coming my way.  Oh shit, the boys don’t know how to do steps yet and I know from past experience NOTHING will keep them away from Grandma.

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Danny was the first to navigate around the wheelchair and promptly FACE PLANT onto the floor.  OH the SCREAMING!  Which immediately caused Joey to begin Wailing as well, even though he hadn’t even attempted he step yet.

From where I was sitting, (literally) there did not appear to be any blood, but I couldn’t move to be sure.  I needed to coax them both into coming in further.

Travel size Kleenex packages to the rescue!  I quickly tore open an 8 pack that lives in a box next to my “throne”, and began crinkling the packages.  Thankfully THAT, and a drawer full of pads did it!

While I was examining Danny’s face for injury, he decided that he also wanted to be on the throne, as did his brother.

0122201845a

Quite the family affair, don’t you think?

As we all SAT there, I was so grateful that my bathroom was one of the first rooms I baby-proofed. Although it wasn’t the most thorough cleaning ever, I was able to swifer the bathroom floor before the boys came.

I feel like I should put in a disclaimer here that unlike my story So I did a thing, where I glued myself to the bathroom floor, no one was actually injured during the making of this story.  SMH

Thank you for taking the time to stop by today.  Hopefully I made you chuckle a bit, or at the very least smile.

 

I do all my own stunts, though not intentionally

I would tell you to grab a bowl of popcorn before reading my latest drama, but if you are anything like me, you would choke on it from laughing too much.   I would suggest kleenex if you’re the sympathetic type, but to be honest I have done enough crying for all of us in the past few days.  Instead, I ask that you find humor in my latest  WTF story. If you’re willing to, please share one of your wtf’s with me.  I could really use a laugh.

I mentioned briefly in my last post, It’s certainly been a minute huh?, that I had been taking more of the caretaker role lately and that although I had had a couple more falls, they really hadn’t been anything out of the norm.  For some reason my brain translated this information into, “You should go big or go home Grace”, or “let’s really create some damage”.  As it happens, I now have quite the story of my own to tell…..SMH

Where to begin though……….

In the middle!  Let’s jump right in the middle.

So hey guess what…. I’m not pregnant!!!!!  Yay me?

I’m actually kind of sad about that, not because I want anymore children, but because after the lawsuit or news stories, I would be as rich as midas.  Are you confused yet?  So am I.  Maybe this story would be better told with less sarcasm?  Let’s go back to December 4, 2019.

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

I am sitting up on a hospital bed answering the 1000 pre op questions I have been asked before, like it’s just another day. ( After more than 50 surgeries, it does feel just like any other day).

Nurse: I’m going to need a urine sample, and then we will get your IV started.

Grace:  For a pregnancy test?  No need, I had a hysterectomy over 15 years ago.

Nurse:  Was it a total hysterectomy?  I mean did they remove your ovaries also.

Grace: Um no but……

Nurse:  Then we still need to do the test.  While the chances are like 1 in a million, it can still happen.

As I am thinking, “Have you met me?!?!?!?  I am the queen of being 1 in a million”, it dawns on me that next Friday is Friday the 13th, and I start to feel sick.  Not because I am superstitious, but because I have two children. I found out I was pregnant with both of them on Friday, December 13th.  ( 1990 and 1996)

It really doesn’t matter that multiple nurses blew my veins multiple times trying to start an IV.  (I have a port for that reason)  It doesn’t matter that the anesthesia they were trying to use didn’t knock me out for 15 mins.  (Burned like hell, but wouldn’t put me out)  It doesn’t even matter that although the doctor was able to repair a lot of the damage in my knee, I am still going to need a partial knee replacement…..

At least I wasn’t pregnant.  SMH

Want to take a break and come back in a minute?  Believe it or not, I’m not even halfway done with this WTF story.

I spent the rest of the week in bed with my knee above my head attached to an ice machine.  I was able to walk (slowly) within a couple days and the pain was minimal.  I was even able to drive to Einstein’s within the week.

Friday the 13th came and went.   I am still not pregnant!!!  So life is good right?

HA HA HA HA

Saturday, Friday the 14th

Maybe I am a little superstitious, but not about the 13th.  I have had several bad experiences on Saturday the 14th (any month) that have even included being arrested.  Yes I have been arrested before, but that’s a whole different story, which ironically does have to do with me getting pregnant.  :O  Let’s stick with this Saturday the 14th though.

I am leaving the kitchen at Einstein’s and I kick or trip over the 1 inch lip at the bottom of the dog gate.  Oh Fuck, I know I am going down…. NOT MY KNEE NOT MY KNEE!!!!!!

The good news….. I didn’t land on my knee.

The not so good news ……I can’t get up.

While going to get my wheelchair from the other room, Einstein jokes, “why did you put this away already?”  NOT FUNNY!  I am in so much pain, I start to cry.  I really can’t stand up.  Einstein had to pick me up to put my in the chair.

High Ho, High Ho, off to the doctor we go……. smh

Before scrolling down, care to guess the diagnosis?

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While waiting for the xrays to come back, I am imagining the worst.  foot-top

Did I fuck up last years surgery on this foot?

(You know the one where they put a plate and screws in my right foot?)

Earlier this year, I fell while holding my grandson and broke the lag bolt while trying not to hurt him…

BREAKER OF TITANIUM….

not quite as cool as Mother of Dragons, but applicable nonetheless.

 

Ready for the verdict?

I broke the 3rd and 4th metatarsals.  (the long bones in the middle of your foot)  I don’t remember the terminology  “the breaks appear to be clean”.  With luck I am in a non weight bearing cast for a couple of months and that is it.  I see the orthopedic doctor on Thursday to see if the swelling has gone down enough for a hard cast and hear his opinion about surgery.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me.  I am truly feeling that if it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.  But hey at least I’m not pregnant?