Author: msgracefulnot

So hard when someone says tell me about yourself...what do you want to know?

Better days ahead… week 3 post op

~ msgracefulnot ~ 31 Comments

Last week, I briefly wrote about “having the dizzies”.  The fact that I was experiencing this new symptom in addition to it being “slump week” for me, made it very difficult to stay focused and on task.  Thankfully, I was able to “just be” over the weekend.  I had my infusion on Monday, and life has returned to normal (whatever that is)….

Last week, I also posted, So…not what I was expecting….  Originally the post was going to be about the post op visit, but I got distracted.  So let me tell you now what I was not expecting.stair xray

I knew that they would be xraying my foot, but I did not expect to be climbing stairs for them to do so.  How the hell is that safe in anyway?!?!?  The doctor had ordered me NOT to put any weight on my foot without the CAM boot on, how did he expect me to do this?!?!?

I climbed the stairs with the boot on, tried to balance while taking it off, and hovered my foot over the xray table.  I held on very tightly (while standing on one leg) while the technician re-positioned the table numerous times.  When the xrays were done, I put the boot back on, and climbed off the table…..  Again, what the hell were they thinking?  How can this be a good thing?

After reviewing my xrays…..

The doc says, “Everything looks like it is healing beautifully.  I want you to continue doing exactly what you have or haven’t been doing  (no driving, no weight bearing without the boot on, and then still limited walking) for another 3 weeks and then we are going to try to get you back into hard soled shoes.”  I also got the approval to sleep in a surgical shoe instead of the boot.  My hips and I are very thankful.

I am somewhat skeptical about being able to go back to normal shoes in this amount of time, but since I am no longer feeling any pain, I am trying to be hopeful.

Another thing that I DID NOT expect to hear was that I did indeed also have gout.  Although my blood tests showed almost no uric acid, when they performed surgery, there was an abundance of uric acid crystals surrounding the joint and the break.  Part of me wonders if this is one doctor trying to cover for the other.  I guess time will tell huh?

I will still be reviewing and in some cases re-sharing some old blog posts over the next couple weeks.  It’s kind of funny that I am the MS blogger, who rarely talks about MS though isn’t it?

FREE SOS feature on your phone

~ msgracefulnot ~ 20 Comments

Recently, I had to start doing research on devices that would allow the user to activate a panic or sos button that would notify friends or family that they needed assistance.  While I still have not found the exact device to suit my needs, I did stumble across some very useful information about a FREE feature included on ALL cell phones  regardless of model or provider, without having to download an app or pay for a service.

If you are interested in hearing more, please keep reading!!!

Let me start by telling you what this feature does, or how it works after you do an initial setup and then I will post screenshots on how I set it up on my phone.

Once you have completed the initial setup, if you need to send an SOS message, you simply click your power button 3 times quickly.  Doing so,  enables the front and back cameras on your phone to take a picture.  It also makes a 5 second audio recording, and sends all of this information including your GPS coordinates to a pre-selected contact.

Too good to be true?  I thought so too.  So of course I had to test it out numerous times to try to find a flaw.  I’m happy to say that I couldn’t find any.

Each time I tested this, either myself or my contact received the message within 30 seconds.  The camera does not use the flash, so their is no indication to an outside party that you have clicked an alert.  The GPS coordinates were accurate to within 200 feet.

The steps I used to set this up on my phone are as follows:

  1. Go under your settings tab
  2. scroll down to privacy and emergency
  3. turn on send sos messages
  4. select a contact
  5. on the final screen you have the option to attach pictures and/or audio

From what I can tell, this feature is available on all makes of phones regardless of your service provider.  While each person I have talked to about this, has been able to set this up on their phone, FOR FREE, the steps were slightly different than the ones I used.  If you are interested, Google… ” how to set up sos messaging on your phone”.

Let me know if you tried this, and any opinions or concerns you might have that I might not have thought of.  I am very curious to know if it also works in other countries besides the US.

Horses, not Zebras

~ msgracefulnot ~ 34 Comments

This is probably another post that I should call, “Oh look a squirrel” .  I want to tell you about Thursday’s post op visit, but I am distracted by the Shocking sensation that seems to be taking over my body.  So let’s start there.

I have said before numerous times that for me, the worst parts of having Multiple Sclerosis are the unpredictability of the disease, the struggle to adjust to new symptoms, and the fear that they might become permanent.

When a new symptom shows up, you might wonder if it has anything to do with MS.  Is there something new in your life that is causing more stress? Did you eat the wrong foods?  Did you overdo it?  Maybe you are just sick?  SO MANY questions…..

Today is one of those BAD days for me.  I woke up this morning feeling “dizzy”.  I had not even gotten out of bed but something didn’t feel right.  As I moved to sit up, I felt like I had “the spins”, so I quickly laid back down.

As I began to take “inventory” of my body, I acknowledged the feeling of SHOCKS or Zapping in almost all of my appendages each time I moved them.  Well now what?  Laying in bed all day is not an option.  I mean it, could be, but I hope not.  Is anyone else home, if I try to stand up and my body doesn’t cooperate?….

Take some deep breaths Grace!!!!

How is that gonna help?!?!? What is that gonna fix?!?!?!?  To be honest, it’s not going to FIX anything.  BUT, it will allow you to calm down and focus on the present.

After calming myself down, I was able to focus on what I was feeling at the moment.  I am/was scared.  Am I having a flare up?  I did just have surgery.  I also currently have a UTI ( yah foley catheters)  It’s also slump week.  (even more than that, I am a week late getting my infusion)  When you hear hoof-beats think horses, not zebras right?

So my plans for today will have to wait.

I will post again after I have had my infusion, or when the world stops spinning here.

 

 

So….. not what I was expecting…..

~ msgracefulnot ~ 18 Comments

A parade?  For me?  How Exciting!!!!

But not even a little bit true.

Let’s start at the beginning…..

😦 no the beginning would take to long

where to start?   where to start?

Ah, just go with the flow…. let’s start with the picture I have posted.  Apparently, it is homecoming weekend for our school district.  I had no idea. As I watched the band, and trucks pulling floats assemble outside my house yesterday, my mind traveled to a different time. In some ways this makes me feel incredibly old, because I have been there and done that.  I participated in Homecoming events, not only when I was in High School myself, but also as each of my daughter’s were.  Wow that feels like I lifetime or two ago!

At the same time, I’m not done with Homecoming.  In as short as 15 years or so, I will have Grandchildren that might be participating in Homecoming.  I will be telling the story…..” when I was your age we had to walk 10 miles through the snow, Uphill to get to school…etc.”  ( Ok that’s MY grandma’s story, but you get the point)

I wonder how different the world will be even in just the few years.

Yesterday, while sitting in the waiting room for my 3 week post op visit, (more about that soon) my mind started to drift to a post that I read earlier this week, by Bojana at Blogging with Bojana.  In her post she talks about spending time with her young son at the playground.  She writes…

Another good thing I’ve noticed spending plenty of time in the sandpit with toddles is the presence and acceptance of all the colors of the rainbow, that is an utter and complete absence of racism and xenophobia in their world. While there’s possessiveness and envy of another kid’s bigger and shinier toy, there’s no discrimination based on ethnicity, nationality, religion, appearance or disability. The society has yet to teach them hatred and prejudice, giving rise to inequality and aggression.

20180927_145626As I thought more about her post, which you can read in its entirety here. I thought that I had the condition for the beginnings of Utopia right in front of me.  I may be misusing the word, but here is the definition I am trying to describe…

u·to·pi·a
yo͞oˈtōpēə/
noun
noun: Utopia; plural noun: Utopias; noun: utopia; plural noun: utopias
  1. an imagined place or state of things in which everything is perfect. The word was first used in the book Utopia (1516) by Sir Thomas More.

Even though we are all sitting in a Doctor’s office, and there is still pain and suffering, as individuals, no one was adding to someone else’s discomfort.  Young, old, black, white, blonde, brunette, bald, overweight, underweight….we were all there coexisting.  Peacefully.

That is the kind of world I hope to see my grandchildren raised in.

In the beginning of the post, I said I didn’t know where to start, so I just started typing/rambling.  I actually intended to tell you about my post op visit, but as I “reviewed” yesterdays events in my mind, my foot became very insignificant. I am not going to say anymore about Homecoming, memories, hope for the future etc or even my foot notes…..  I made a funny ( at least in this post)

Instead I want to ask you for your feedback.  Don’t you think the world would be a better place if instead of drawing lines that separate us from one another, we focused more on the common goal of helping everyone “make it”? all making it

Great reminder from Walk a Myelin* My Shoes

~ msgracefulnot ~ 24 Comments

Earlier today I read a post that reminded me of a topic I had wanted to discuss many times, but had never gotten around to.  Amanda, at Walk a Myelin* My Shoes wrote this post today, that I think everyone who has to ask someone for help, myself included, should remember.   BE Kind and Thankful for the people that are there for you.  But not only that…. REMEMBER to THANK them.

I reblogged this on my page a few minutes ago, in an effort to share her post, but I don’t know if I did it correctly.  If you have a minute, please take a minute to visit her post on her page at the link above.

We’ve all held the door for someone without receiving thanks.  Maybe you have let someone with a smaller cart checkout in front of you?  Doing those things and helping people for the most part makes us feel good about ourselves, when it is our choice to do them, and it’s an added bonus when the person you help Thanks you.

I’d like to share a story that while I am not ashamed of, I am not particularly proud of.  I’m not going to go back and “fix, or undo” it, but I do try to be better than that now, and I really try to remember to thank the people I have to ask for help.

Ok so here’s the story….

When Thing One and her husband started dating, he lived in Michigan and she lived in Il.  I am so thankful that the kids have decided to make Illinois their home.  I felt bad for Z’s mother, who has several physical limitations, that she would not be able to see the kids as easily.  Once the kids decided to get married, Z’s mom, (we’ll call her T) decided that she wanted to move to Illinois to be closer to our kids and potential grandchildren.  She asked for my help.

I have learned the hard way in the past, (and I am still learning) that it’s important to set boundaries when you help someone.  One boundary I try to place is that I will happily TEACH you how to do anything I can, but I won’t do things FOR you, if you are capable of doing them yourself and chose not to.

I helped T find maps, handicap accessible apartment websites and phone numbers, and offered to take her to the buildings if she did all the other prep work of reviewing the websites, and scheduling appointments.  That process wasn’t without it’s issues, but we did it.  She came to Illinois to stay with the kids for 4 days, and Friday was the day I would show her around and take her to her appointments.

When I arrived at Thing One’s to pick T up, they (Thing one and T) weren’t quite ready and neither had eaten breakfast, so I offered to make eggs for them both.  I asked, T how she wanted her eggs,  ( which is more than I did for Thing One) and she replied “Over medium”.  Ok, I will give it my best shot.  I made her eggs first, and when I placed them in front of her she made a face and said, “I guess I can work with that”.

Deep breath Grace!…Deep Breath! ( no I did not throw the plate in her lap)…..  I did look at Thing One though, who instantly gave me an apologetic look.  ( l love that my kiddo and I can communicate through facial expressions and body language so well)  Next I made Thing One’s eggs and placed them in front of her.  She replied, “Thank you.”  (Yes I had to point out that my daughter has simple manners).  Finally, I finished my own eggs.  (the same way I made T’s) eggs.  I sat down to eat and T immediately said, ” well that’s how I wanted my eggs, that looks good.”

WOULD YOU LIKE MY FUCKING EGGS?!?!?!?

What I actually said was,  “If you would like my plate, I will happily trade you.”  She dismissed me and began to eat from her own plate.

Several times throughout the day she barked at me that I was doing something wrong, or this wasn’t what she wanted.  I really really tried to be patient, but after seeing 4 different apartment buildings, and constantly being told I was incorrect, I made up an excuse that I needed to be home for Einstein for something, and took them back to Thing One’s.  (sorry kiddo, I did what I could….but she’s all yours)  and yes I did say that in her ear as I hugged her goodbye.

For the remainder of the evening I tried to offer Thing One appropriate responses to her future mother in law  (via text ) as she got on Thing One’s nerves more and more.  I was also supposed to hang out with the kids and T on Saturday for a couple hours.

When I got there on Saturday, I told both of the kids I was only staying for one cup of coffee, and asked which excuse they would like me to give about why I wasn’t staying longer.  Since the kids were “entertaining”, I offered to make everyone coffee.  Thing One wanted hers with creamer, no problem.  Z wanted his with a scoop of sugar, also no problem. I don’t even remember what T wanted in her’s because I honestly I had had ENOUGH of being told how many things I did wrong…

Here comes the not proud part

I placed T’s cup in front of Z and told him, “Here, YOU fix her coffee for her, because if  she tells me I did ONE MORE thing wrong, she will wear it”.  T gasped and looked up at me saying, ” Oh do you mean about yesterday?…. I was only joking!!!!”

Uh huh.  I quickly drank my coffee, made my excuse to leave, and wished T an enjoyable rest of her trip.

Yes I know that was wrong and very passive aggressive of me.  As I said I’m not proud.  But I think it illustrates my point.

A year has passed since that day, and while I have not been MEAN to Z’s Mom, I have not been helpful in ANY WAY.  Normally I would have spent some time at the kids wedding in March with her, making sure she was settled in ok etc.  I didn’t, other than to make sure the obligatory newlywed’s with their mom’s picture was taken.  I have not shared any of the kid’s ultrasound pictures with her (as I would have in the past).  I know that it’s not my job to do those things, but that is who I normally am.  The one who tries to treat everyone like they would like to be treated.

I’m sure I will have more dealings with T in the future, and any help I give will be because I chose to help not expecting anything (even a thank you in return) I know that this is the way it is supposed to be, but I am human, and would at least like a Thank you.

Thank you for reading along today.  Do you get bent out of shape too, when a Thank you is not spoken? I think we all do a bit.  PLEASE remember to thank people who are kind to you, or that you rely on for help, it can really make a huge difference.

**** I didn’t realize until reading some of your comments, that I neglected to add that at this time, T still resides in Michigan.