Author: msgracefulnot

So hard when someone says tell me about yourself...what do you want to know?

Personal Goals

~ msgracefulnot ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes I feel like my brain is a blender, random thoughts going around at high speeds so that I can’t focus on any one thing.  To combat the craziness, and try to slow my thoughts down, I write notes everywhere: on my phone, on post- its, in any number of notebooks….I call them Ramblings.  I do believe the actual ACT of writing things down, does help to slow things down a bit.

I have spent the last week gathering all of my Ramblings, and compiling them all into one GINORMOUS list.  After having a minor (ok it was major) panic attack.  I have chosen a few items to focus on during the rest of the month.  You have to start somewhere right?

My focus for the month of October:

  1. Losing weight and improving my health
  2. Continuing to learn WordPress and webpage design
  3. Cleaning out my closet ( finishing something that I started a long time ago)

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Losing weight – The goal is to weigh less than 150 lbs by the end of October.  I plan to follow the Grapefruit Diet at least 2 of the 3 days out of each week, drink a minimum of 64 ounces of water a day, and to walk everyday with my ultimate goal of being able to walk a mile a day.  (I’m still pondering if the goal is one mile without taking a break or just walking at LEAST a mile every day but I figure some movement is better than none right?

Continuing to learn wordpress– I WANTED to make this a page.  I think that’s what is called.  I wanted to make a link to this in the bookmark bar with a child page? of October goals maybe post my status or results?  I haven’t learned how to do that yet, so that simple feature is my goal for this month. Oh yeah and how to move pictures and headings around, I’m still playing with that.

xstitch goal

Cleaning out my closet– I own 4 of these seasonal cross stitch patterns, one for each season.  I used to do cross stitch a lot while waiting at doctors appointments and when I was in the wheelchair to try to keep my mind busy with something other than feeling sorry for myself.  Since I have been more active, they have lived in a shoebox.  It seems sad to let all the time and money I spent on them to go to waste, so I pulled out the Autumn one and made the goal to finish the part I TRIED to outline ( somehow I ended up with an eraser to do it but it will work for my purpose) shrug.

I believe that making goals, even if they a small goals is a positive start.  I don’t want to make a tremendous list and set myself up to fail.  So I have baby steps on making a few areas of my life more manageable.  Wish me luck?!

 

 

Well that didn’t go as planned

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Well that didn’t go as planned.   I never made it back to the computer yesterday. While finishing my coffee, I was reading a frantic post from a fellow MSer in one of the FB groups I belong to.  She was scared and having a panic attack.  (I really hate those!!)  One cup of coffee turned into 2 and so on.  Once this person was calmed down, I felt better.  I don’t know if I am the one who helped her or not, but I felt better that at least I tried.

After I finally showered, my old neighbor called and reminded me that I had asked her to go for a walk because I am trying to lose weight, an old friend called reminding me that I still had not met his 5 month old foster daughter and he finally had a day off of work so I could, and the bedding that I had to wash turned into 6 other loads of laundry.  Considering that just getting out of bed some days is tough, I had a very productive day.

By the end of the day…

I did walk almost ½ a mile before needing assistance.  (the goal for this year is to increase that to a mile)

I had an incredible visit with my friend and his kiddos.

I substituted a newly purchased e cig for a couple of cigarettes

Most importantly though, I remembered that Tomorrow would be a new day and to focus on what I had accomplished instead of what didn’t get done.

By the beginning of next week I hope to have more focused goals for losing weight, quitting smoking, watching a few more wordpress videos, and making a budget.

Not a total loss

~ msgracefulnot ~ Leave a comment

I meant to post this yesterday……

I went to bed last night looking forward to today.  I even laughed when I realized I was looking forward to a Monday.  Who does that?!?!?  I was looking forward to it because I don’t have any doctor appointments today.  The weather is supposed to be great.  I have a new laptop and I was going to spend more time learning about wordpress.  YAH Good day!

And then I woke up SOAKED in my own urine.  I mean soaked.  Not just me, all of my blankets, my clothes, even some on my pillow…..ARGH!!!   My first thoughts are SON OF A BITCH! SERIOUSLY?!?!? WTF?!?!? There goes my day!!!!  If I can find a dry spot this is where I am spending my day.

And then I remember my dogs are here.  So I drag my ass out of bed, throw my nightgown in the mess, Depends in the trash and head to the toilet.  Oh yeah that’s right, I’m supposed to track my input and output today. Gggggrrrr where is that nurses hat?!?!?  Damn I need coffee.

I find the nurses hat, 500 cc’s check and head down the hall to let the dogs out and feed them.  I hit the button on the coffee maker, throw a towel on my chair and sit.  ☹

My thoughts are racing, my moods are swinging, so I sit.  As I wait for the coffee to finish, I look at my legs.  The bruising and road rash from my latest fall are starting to fade hmmm well that’s a plus.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, SEVERAL actually.  Now what?

I open up a blank page in word and start typing.  (^^^^^)

Yah coffee is starting to kick in, dogs have been fed, a message from my youngest popped up in messenger “ I love you, Mom”, and I realize my anger is starting to fade a bit.  My thoughts are still racing, but they are starting to change.  Hey dumb ass, quit feeling sorry for yourself.  It’s only 8:30.

You have managed to get out of bed.  The dogs are fed.  You do have a washing machine.  I even chuckle about that (I will explain later) Start thinking about how you are going to save this day. This isn’t the first time it’s happened.  A light bulb clicks on….I think I know what I am going to write about today.  But first,

I’m going to finish my coffee, smoke another cigarette, take a shower, brush my teeth and start some laundry.  Close word, sign off the computer and go.  I WILL be back.

First blog post

~ msgracefulnot ~ 7 Comments

I am intentionally leaving this title as “First blog post”, because it is my very first post and I am totally making this shit up as I go.  If I was to change the title, it would probably end up being… “You prolly ought not have done that”.  But what the hell?

People are always telling me that I should start a blog.

The first problem is these people all know different sides of me.  Some know me as Mom.  Some know me as someone with Multiple Sclerosis.  Many people just think I am crazy, which after looking up the definition at http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term , I am ok with, in both cases. The second problem is that I have so much to say, so many things running through my hurricane of a brain, that I can’t pick just one topic.  I know a lot about several things, but wouldn’t claim to be a master at any of them.  I’m not sure where this blog or webpage adventure will take me, but since I know nothing about either, I am sure it will be an adventure!

First Steps

The way I did it (not necessarily the recommended way to do things.)  I thought and thought and thought and did nothing.  (not very productive).   Then I realized my to do list was getting longer and longer and decided to just “jump into it” (hence the skydiving picture) or it would never get done. It shouldn’t be scarier than that right?  Besides, you need to learn to walk before you run.

As I was heading to the computer to sign up at wordpress, I tripped over the air spilling coffee all over myself thinking “ Not very graceful there” , and decided on the name I would use to blog.  Graceful…..Not!

Next step

How do I upload my skydiving picture?  After all I did just jump into this.  Over the next couple of hours, yes HOURS, I finally figured out how to upload the picture to my computer, and publish it along with some other random stuff I shouldn’t have posted.  Oh well, live and learn.  AFTER doing all of this, I decided to share this baby accomplishment with my best friend.  I called him on skype (video chat), so I could share my screen with him and see the webpage from his screen.  (yes I do know there would have been easier ways of doing this, but it would not have been as much fun)  After playing with all the buttons, starting to explore themes, and laughing for another two hours…. This post is what I have to show for it.  Kind of like my parents went to……….and all I got was this lousy tshirt.