Category: APAD

A Post a Day APAD Day 28 Living in 2 houses

~ msgracefulnot ~ 5 Comments

I feel like a bag lady. In fact I do have a BAG…. Einstein calls it my Moo bag because of the print. I call it my MOVE bag because I’m always moving stuff from one house to the other.

Living in two houses can be challenging

The biggest challenge for me is remembering to bring things from one house to the other. Thankfully, I have a laptop that is pretty portable, but when I am working on a big project, the laptop doesn’t cut it. I have a desktop computer at both houses, with multiple screens. Maybe hoarding is hereditary? I am still wary of using the cloud for storage, so up until a week ago, I was carrying a portable hard drive back and forth between houses. I think I am going to start using google drive or one drive for not private stuff.

The dogs usually go where I go, so I’ve also had to purchase a separate set of bowls and food for each house. I say I have had to purchase, that’s not really being fair. Einstein purchases most of the things that stay at his house, but for the things I don’t want to carry back and forth (like their 48″ kennels) I buy a second set.

For the last couple years I have bought all the groceries for both houses. So much wasted food, so I gave up and let my refrigerator look like a bachelor’s. I think going forward though, if I am splitting the time between houses more, I will buy the groceries for my house and he can buy what we use there? Who knows it’s always a work in progress.

As far as yard work and house cleaning go, the responsibility of both things at both houses has always fallen on me. In the past, I didn’t mind that so much, because again at his house he pays for most things and he was working 6 days a week every week. I told myself that I had more time. I have gotten very resentful though feeling that I was pulling all the weight, as I imagine he must when he pays more for electric over the summer because I can’t handle the heat. Now that he is unemployed maybe he will start pulling more weight there?

As usual, I am trying to remain optimistic and focus on the positive. Only time will tell correct?

I know that there are people that can’t afford a roof over their head, actually I’ve been there as well. I WILL remember to be grateful for that!

Image credit to a couple in Vermont that built a bridge between their houses to help with some of these issues.

A Post a Day APAD Day 27 …I thought you left him

~ msgracefulnot ~ 3 Comments

I thought you left him

Yes I did!!!

and then I went back…

.and then I left again….

you’ve heard the story before I’m sure.

It’s no lie that things got pretty bad between Einstein and I again toward the end of last year. Bad enough that I went back to MY HOUSE again. We took some time apart and both agreed that we have too much time, energy, and money invested in our relationship to permanently throw in the towel. Custody battles with Dogs are no more fun or less painful than the ones involving children. The last time I left was in February of 2018. The Elephant in the Room. While we did end up getting “back together” we each own our own house. We primarily live at his house and mine is the escape house since I rent half of it out to a “friend/roomate”.

After some time apart in December, we both agreed that there were things that we could both change. I’m not going to air our dirty laundry at this time. (Actually I think I have literally done that in the past.) Laundry blog here. But I will tell you one of the major changes. Einstein quit his job. He was absolutely miserable there, and I can understand why. I have encouraged him to quit for years. He finally did, with the promise he would bitch less and have more to give to us. I really hope that is the case. At the same time, I don’t want to be around anyone 24/7. I mean anyone! I am used to having the full run of the house for 8-10 hours a day if I want. These last couple of weeks with him home have been difficult, but they are necessary while he figures out his next path. I have absolutely NO DOUBT that this man CAN accomplish anything he puts his mind to, now its a matter of figuring out which direction that is going to be.

Have you ever heard the song, It’s What He didn’t do- by Carly Pearce? It’s not only very catchy, but I think it paints a good picture of where we ended last year. I am not holding my breathe, but I am not done yet.

Partial Lyrics to What He Didn’t Do- Carly Pearce

And I’ve got my side of the story and he’s got his side, too
So I ain’t gonna go and tell you what he did
But I’ll tell you what he didn’t do

Treat me right, put me first, be a man of his word
Stay home ’cause he wanted to
always fight for my love, hold on tight like it’s something
That he couldn’t stand to lose
The devil’s in the details, I won’t tell the hell that he put me through
All I know is in the end, it wasn’t what he did, no
It was what he didn’t do

I was searching for a “relationship help” book on Amazon. There are 1000’s. Can anyone recommend one? If not here, maybe message me? Thank you in advance.

A Post a Day APAD Day 26… Double Fisting Cheerios

~ msgracefulnot ~ Leave a comment

Kids say the Darndest things

I think we have all heard that “kids say the darndest things” right? Have you ever thought about some of the Darndest things you as an adult have said when talking to or about your kids or animals? A very common saying in our house at the moment is, “Don’t eat your sister!” (I’m talking about our dogs) Sit, stay, down, off, leave it, roll over, and give me five are also pretty common things we say to our GSD’s and they usually listen.

I am very big on training dogs. I don’t care how cute your fur baby is, chances are if they are not trained, they can be an asshole. Mine can be, and they are trained. Anyway, while I am gone Einstein is in charge of continuing the daily training I put both of my girls through. I called to check on how it was going (knowing he was going to be overwhelmed as hell) I was only half listening as he complained about the difficulty of training two young dogs at the same time. (Did I mention I DO THAT EVERY DAMN DAY?!?!?)

Einstein: I’m double fisting cheerios here.

Me: What did you just say?

Einstein: I’m DOUBLE FISTING CHEERIOS HERE!!!! I am in the middle of a sit with Lady and Kitt comes up offering her paw……..

I honestly don’t remember the rest of the conversation (other than laughing so hard). Maybe he will HELP me next time I ask?

Double Fisting Cheerios smh

A Post a Day APAD Day 25 …. The sun will come out…tomorrow

~ msgracefulnot ~ 3 Comments

I think I have mentioned before that I talk to everybody right?  If I haven’t told you, let me assure you now that that is definitely the case.  Most people that know me will tell you that I make friends every where I go.  Everytime I make the trip to Colorado, people ask me if I think Colorado is beautiful.  I respond, “to be honest, I haven’t seen much of it other than the inside of my daughter’s house or the view of  her backyard.”  (Remember they moved out here as the Covid lockdown was beginning.)  We’ve been to a couple of parks, we took the boys to the zoo one time, but other than that my time consists of being a Grandma gym and crawling and climbing with the boys on everything possible.  Trust me, I AM NOT COMPLAINING!!!!

As usual I digress.  What I have seen of Colorado is beautiful!  When I walk onto the deck in the backyard the mountains seem so close that you can touch them.  It almost…ALMOST makes you forget that all of the houses look the same and are right on top of each other.

It’s been cold and overcast since I have been here this week, and I could have sworn the mountains had moved.  I am hoping to see a better view before I go home and maybe catch a sunset like this one from last time I was here.

If not I will keep my fingers crossed that everyone becomes afraid of flying again and I can enjoy this view on the way home.

This was my flight home the day Illinois was shutting down for the first time. LOVED IT!

**** Update: The mountains came back

A Post a Day APAD Day 24… How to Babysit a Grandma

~ msgracefulnot ~ 5 Comments

When the boys were first born, I bought them a book called How to Babysit a Grandma. There is also a book called How to Babysit a Grandpa which includes activities that are more my style…but it is what it is. While we have read How to Babysit a Grandma a few times, I don’t think they learned anything from it. In fact, since they day they were born they have been “writing their own stories”.

If THEY were writing a book called How to babysit a Grandma, todays chapter would have been called something like, “Fetch”. The game begins with one of them asking Grandma to go down the stairs into the yard to get a ball for them (because they aren’t wearing any shoes.) Grandma happily obliges them by descending 1000 steps and throwing a ball up onto the deck. Points are earned when you tell Grandma it’s the wrong ball 187x until she has thrown all of them up onto the deck for you. Bonus points if you manage to enlist your brother into helping you drop all 187 balls off the deck before Grandma can climb the steps to the top of the deck.

Surprisingly, I managed to stay in the game and keep them entertained for almost an hour. I think we all get points for that one. Climbing up the stairs was completed in a crawling like fashion, but in the end I think we all won.

Although I didn’t ask for it, I am kind of grateful to their dog, ATLAS who helped by popping a couple of the balls.

I believe the next chapter in the book is called, Getting Grandma to fall asleep first.