My One thing box…. so DOING IT WRONG…..

A few months ago, the LAST time I almost had a “mini mental breakdown” from trying to be superwoman ( GRACE, the damn costume does NOT fit) a really great friend of mine said, “Damn it Grace, will you just slow down?!?!? Focus on ONE THING, just one thing at a time!!!”  “Yeah, yeah” I replied. ” I got it. (as I added 20 more things to my to do list)

We finished our conversation and she said, “I’ve got it!  I am making something for you.”  Ok?  I didn’t really think much more about it…..

A month later, a box arrived from Florida, ( I live in Illinois)…..hmmmm Not medical supplies, (they come from Texas)…. Not my prescriptions…(THOSE came LAST week) too big of a box to be more bills ( besides that, medical collectors like to use big flashy envelopes so that all your neighbors know you are a slacker)

light bulb over your head Duh, Florida!  Bones is from Florida!!!!!!!! tiki doll

She said she was sending you something…..

My mind went back to what I THOUGHT was our last conversation in which we had talked about going thrift shop shopping for an ugly “tiki like” statue.

The side story behind the “Tiki statue”.

Although I have “known” Bones for almost 3 years, we have only ever “hung out” (in person) two times.  I live in Illinois, she lives in Florida.  We “met” playing an online game on facebook, and it was over a year of talking on the phone, skype etc before we actually met in person.  She was supposed to come stay with me for a week in Sept. of last year, even had purchased her airline ticket, but Hurricane Maria hit the day she was supposed to fly out. 😦 So the trip was cancelled.

We tried to find time in our schedules to pick another day, but with the holidays coming and my daughter’s upcoming wedding, we decided to wait and try again next year.  To hold ourselves “accountable” we agreed to purchase the ugliest statue that we could find to be left at the other ones house.  The only way you could get rid of the statue was to “deliver” it in person to the other one.

So back to the package…..

Why was she sending me the Tiki package?  That wasn’t our plan.  We were going to pick one out together…..  😦 and it was supposed to be HAND delivered or retrieved…. Hmmmm well I’m just not gonna open it!  😛

The box sat by the door for 2 hours before Einstein pestered me enough to open it.

I’m glad I was sitting on the floor when I did.  Fucking tears came out of no where.  When I opened the box this is what I saw…..

She had HAND MADE me my very own “One Thing”  box to remind me to….. SLOW THE HELL DOWN!!!

Who knew that this woman that lives more than 1000 miles away from me, that I met playing an online game, would become one of the best friends anyone could ask for?!?!?

The box is not only a box to collect my to do lists.  Bones did research on why I use the ORANGE ROSE as my blog picture.  (Orange is the color for MS awareness and I printed the rose on our 3d printer, when I was feeling especially blah one day to remind myself that there is still beauty in the world)  I know….. cheesy, but it works for me.  She found images of butterflies, which I didn’t know also represent MS awareness.

Inside of the box she taped the picture of me skydiving that I had posted on my newly created blog’s welcome page.  She included cut out One Thing “tags” with a letter explaining that how I was supposed to use this box. She said, ” This is for your LONG list of To-do’s, but…. BUT you can ONLY place ONE task on each piece of paper.”  Of course there were more “rules”, but you get the gist?

Well I’m still doing it wrong……

right way

wrong way

I THOUGHT I was doing it right, but I was writing tags like the ones on the left, when I probably should have done more like the ones on the right.

Just because the words fit in the box, does not mean they will fit into a day!!!!…smh

Plan BOSTON?!?!?  Seriously what the hell was I thinking?!?!?  Yep I’m gonna plan a trip with 3 other people all by myself in one day! Doh! I tried, I reached out to everyone to confirm airline selections before booking. I couldn’t reach anyone, but outgoing messages were sent.  So let’s start with cleaning the house.  I probably should have chosen to vacuum OR dust OR laundry instead of tackling all of the rooms and all of the chores at once....but but…the tag said ONE thing…. and I only wrote ONE THING!!!  CLEAN THE HOUSE!!!!!

I did manage to make a lot of progress on the lists on the left, but didn’t actually finish anything except for cleaning the house. ALL OF THE LAUNDRY washed, dried, folded AND put away!!!!  All the dishes, vacuuming, dusting, and I even washed the floors and cleaned the bathrooms.  As I laid down, (passed out) on the couch, utterly exhausted, I looked at the vacuum cleaner that I had neglected to empty or put away, and started the next day’s list….

The next day…..

I laid on the couch all damn day and most of the next….I was in so much pain.

WHEN will I learn?!?!?!?

I really don’t understand why I push myself so hard.  smh I’m sure it has something to do with no longer being able to work outside my house, and self worth and all that, but I KNOW I will PAY for it later, yet I keep doing it.

Definition of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/unknown_133991
Thank you all for listening to me ramble!  (WordPress is cheaper than a shrink)
Anyone have any ideas why I’m always in such a hurry to get EVERYTHING done?
Bones?  Have I told you lately that I love you?!?!? ( get that song stuck in your head)
I never dreamed that this blogging adventure would lead me to so many supportive people and new friends. 🙂 I’ve had the time of my life 🙂 🙂 🙂

It’s 2018 WHO still talks on the phone?

I do!!!!…… but apparently I am one of few

Several months ago, I started a blog about why I talk on the phone or use Skype instead of texting.  The reason I had started to write about this subject is because I am always reaching out to new people, trying to get to know them, and my preferred method is IN PERSON.  BUT, since most of the people I have reached out to live halfway around the world, or at least several states away, the likeliness of that happening at this point are slim to none,  so……I ask to talk on the phone or to Skype.

To be honest, 80% of people I have asked to TALK to have turned me down for one reason or another.  In the beginning that hurt a bit, but as it happened more and more I realized that apparently it’s just not what people do.  Ok lesson learned.  Well kind of…… I have actually learned SEVERAL things

  1.  I am NOT “most people”.
  2. Face to face communication or at least voice to voice, IS MY preferred method of communication
  3. Just as people have their reasons for not wanting to talk on the phone, I have my reasons for wanting to.  It’s ok to disagree.  That’s what makes people different.
  4. I am completely ok with “No” as a response.  You don’t need to provide me with any explanation, if you are not comfortable with it you are not.  COMPLETELY FINE!!! 🙂

Before I continue though…..To anyone that I have tried to connect with that has told me no, I apologize if I made you uncomfortable, it was never my intention.  My intention was to get to know you better, in the only way I know how.

The reason I am FINALLY posting this is because I recently asked someone that I admire or respect to talk on the phone with me.  (Ok I suggested it numerous times.)  The final response I got was, “It’s 2017, who talks on the phone anymore.” and it kind of hurt. But after I put a band- aid on my feelings, and thought about it for a few moments and realized that they were right.  Most people Do NOT talk on the phone these days unless they absolutely have to, but I do!  and I thought it might be a good time to “explain” why.

Now to my original topic…

Why I like talking rather than texting…. (let me count the reasons)

 I rely on verbal cues and voice inflection when talking to another person.  I am very perceptive at picking up anger, boredom, sadness, and joy from the sound of someone’s voice.  I’m even better at reading facial cues….usually.  I just don’t get that from texting.  A great example…… a few weeks ago, my oldest daughter sent me a message on FB messenger asking, “So if we go to ‘fiancee’s’ family’s (out of state) for xmas this year do you want to do dinner another time?”  I was seeing her a couple days later, and responded “Let’s talk about it Friday, but yeah if you want to go, GO”. She responded, “Ok”.  An hour later, another message came through, “Are you mad or busy?”, she asked. GRRR fucking texting.  We were using messenger and she would know that I had seen the message,  if I didn’t respond she would automatically assume I was mad. So I shot back, “lol sorry kiddo buy”.  I meant to say/ type, “Sorry kiddo, I’m busy”, but I had my mother’s dog on my lap and I WAS busy”. busy with kona Oh great, now I mistyped something.  Was she going to think I said Buy (bye) instead of busy, because I was mad instead of really just busy?!?!?  SMH.   I stopped what I was doing, took this picture and sent the picture with the following message…. “I’m sorry kiddo, YES I AM VERY BUSY.  I am helping Nana with her laptop, Papa with his computer, and I have their new puppy on my lap.  Let’s talk on your lunch or on Friday”.

When we talked later on her lunch , I was able to repeat what I had originally texted to her “Let’s talk about it Friday, but yeah if you want to go, GO” with the inflection in my voice and she got it instantly.

With just those same short words coming out of my mouth (instead of my fingers) she understood that I sincerely wanted her to be happy more than anything else.  It would not bother me in the least. She knew that “I got” the fact that now that she was getting married, I would have to “share her”. I was even able to let her know that I appreciated her thinking about my “emotional well-being” ( remember my Thanksgiving was terrible)….. So misunderstanding or miscommunication is my first reason.

Another reason is because I am just not good at it. thumb surgeryPhysically not good at it.  Both of my hands are numb, so I drop the phone all the time.  I have had bones taken out of my both of my thumbs, and as a result they are VERY weak, so texting just sucks. I literally do not have the strength to cut my own nails.  😦

Ok so TRY talk and type, or speech to text?  ROFLMAO… been there done that.  To this day whenever I SAY “I LOVE YOU” to my children it is translated “I LIVE YOU”.  I have many more examples, but they really should have their own blog post.  When asking for help with this, my kids said, “Well mom, you have to enunciate better”.  I tried that, the phone typed E9C8…..so I give up. smh

Another reason is because I spend an ENORMOUS amount of time in my car.  Texting, facebooking, etc while driving is dangerous as hell (not to mention illegal, but since I have a lead foot problem we will stick with the dangerous part  :P) so except for the occasional “I’m sitting at a stop light text” , texting is not something I do while driving.

I think the final reason I still talk on the phone is, that it is my way of showing respect or genuine interest it what someone has to say.  ( I’m also weird in the way that I still make eye contact with people when I talk to them, although sometimes it is very hard)

So, if I ask YOU to talk on the phone or Skype, and you are not comfortable, please just say “No, I would rather not.”  Ok Cool!…No judgments opinions etc.  No means no, and I’m cool with that….

 

 

 

The Morning After….”THE VIDEO”

Yesterday, I posted a video I did as a self challenge to put myself out there and face something I was terrified of.  I didn’t watch the video again until today and this morning “Pre-coffee” I made another one after I finished watching the first one.

For anyone wondering “Pre-coffee” should have a clinical definition and be categorized as some other kind of disease.  ( At least for me it is)  I am not a doctor, so I won’t attempt a clinical definition….. but picture this….

Or check out other pins I have collected .  If you have any to share, please add them too!!…But I digress….I wanted to share some things I have learned both about myself, and about making a video, just from doing that ONE VIDEO….. Caution though…the following video was made PRE-COFFEE. (ok while having the first cup or I wouldn’t have been able to turn on my computer)  But as usual I digress…

Here is my second video if you want to see

Other things I learned from making the video:

  1.  How to upload a video
  2. I really DO NOT Enunciate ( which is why I attempted to add captions) to this one… not perfect, it’s alot of work, but yah I learned something new.
  3. I HATE  the way I LOOK and SOUND precoffee
  4. My goofy first video encouraged someone that I consider a VERY SUCCESSFUL blogger to try something she has been putting off…. DOUBLE WIN!!!!
  5. I’m gonna keep “doing me”.  I know that If I did this or that when making a video, it would be more successful, but baby steps for now.
  6. Drink coffee before EVER attempting to blog or video

Ok Now I’m just rambling…. Thank you again to everyone that is following me on this adventure!!!! I am really enjoying it and learning lots of new things!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Do you look like your pet?

As I laid my head on my “dog pillow” the other day, I noticed  that our hair consists of the same colors (blonde and black).  It made me recall  a meme, post, article, or video that I have seen that showed numerous pictures of dogs and their owners with very scary resemblances. I began to wonder if there were other similarities… while my mouth is always open like hers seems to be, ( I talk ALOT) I think I have a bit better control at keeping my tongue inside my mouth. Then again, I also think  people that know me in real life have plenty of pictures of me sticking my tongue out.  (Not sure if it counts that I stick my tongue out on purpose, I think my dogs tongue just hangs out.)  I don’t think my ears are nearly as big, or my nose for that matter, but we definitely have the matching hair color thing going on.  By the way, my GSD’s name is SNUFF.

My other dog is D.O.G. (not dog, but each letter individually, D.O.G).  I think she thinks her name is MOVE, GET OFF THE COUCH, and YOU’VE GOT TO BE FRICKING KIDDING ME, though.  She looks at me whenever I say those things so maybe, poor D.O.G.

dog soloActually there is nothing poor about D.O.G., she is spoiled rotten. She is allowed on my bed, she gets lifted into the car, she even sits in the front seat, and for being the smaller of the two (three if you count me) she is the ruler of the “bitches”.

cats

 

 

I will save the discussion of my three cats for another day, but Foxy, the white one, rules the whole house.  As usual I digress….

So about D.O.G…..

I have always been an animal lover, but the last dog I had was hit by a car, and killed while a friend was “petsitting”.  (That was almost 15 years ago.)  It took me seven years before I could bring myself to get another dog, and the initial reason I got her was for companionship when my MS put me in a wheelchair.  Over the years, we have become codependent.  I don’t like to sleep without her and she doesn’t like me leaving the house without her.  So I guess it works?

dog and mom
Isn’t she cute?

OMG am I ADHD!!!  The point is, do I look like D.O.G?  If you ever saw me “precoffee”  I am sure I do.

I love how her teeth are spaced like that!  And ok maybe we both have a face that only a mother could love 🙂

So that’s it!  That’s my life in a nutshell.  Beautiful children and animals, coffee and cigarettes, and lots of horrible prescriptions for a nasty monster of a disease.  MS really sucks!my life in a nutshell

When I was telling a friend about the do pets look like their owners meme, she says, “Oh yes, I can totally see you and snuff…..you even cock your head to the side like she does when someone is talking to you and you don’t understand”…..SMH FML and all that.

Thank you all for reading along.  One day I will actually get to the point of why I started this blog and talk about how to cope with MS, depression, ADHD, etc, but for now I am having so much fun meeting new people and those things just plain suck to think about.

Do you have any pets? Do you look like your pets? Do you know anyone who does?  Please feel free to share them to my facebook page if you do.  🙂

 

 

 

 

Why did it take me 4 hours to walk a mile? #ADHD

This non photo shopped picture is Proof that I should be able to walk a mile in under a 1/2 hour.  So why did it take me 4 hours to actually finish the mile?  Because I’m silly? Because I think too much? Because I have #ADHD? Because I am not focused? Because other things were more important?….. Probably all of those things and more ( oh yeah, I’m sick and have MS, but I think it was more the other things)

I am not going to beat myself up about being non productive because even though my morning didn’t go as planned and I have so much more I have to do today, I realize that I did accomplish a lot and I have had a blast doing it…. I should probably get to the point of why I am writing now huh?

I have said numerous times that I am my own worst enemy, that I am too hard on myself, and that I need to slow the hell down.  I DID!  AND I ENJOYED MYSELF!!!!  This really is a completely pointless post, other than the fact that it’s making me laugh (and cough…DAMN COLD), but If you have a minute, hang out with me, laugh at me, shake your head at me? and keep reading.

Ok so the plan was to walk a mile on the treadmill…. but what happened was…..

my babyI started walking, looked at this picture that sits next to my treadmill and thought, “Holy shit, my baby isn’t my baby anymore”  (She is 20 and has turned into a super strong young woman)  Then I thought, “It’s been a whole day since I told her that I loved her, I should send her this picture and let her know I’m thinking of her and why I am struggling with this whole #emptynest thing”. (because I still see her like that little girl in my head)

I stop the treadmill. (Bonus that I didn’t try to take the pic while it was moving) I take the picture, and lean against the bar to TRY to send the message. (whoops leaned on the increase speed button instead)  And of course, I was still standing on the machine.  I managed to jump off, not sure how, but yah no injuries.  “I should probably sit down for a minute” #MSlegs were getting tired.

While sitting down in front of the damn computer.  (facebook really is a bad distraction)  I read a comment in a blogging group that goes like this:

Jerk guy: “So now that I have a blog and I’m writing my first post… how do I make it profitable?”

Super nice friendly helpful girl: You’ll need more than one post to get accepted into ad and affiliate programs. It takes time to gain a presence on google.

She goes on to explain that it will take time, patience and hard work.  Unfortunately blogging isn’t a get rich quick scheme.  (Which for the record it sounded like he was looking for)

Jerk guy:  “I never said I want to get rich. Read my post again”

super nice friendly helpful girl: “I wasn’t trying to offend, profitable suggests making money”

jerk guy: “there’s a difference between being profitable and thinking you’re going to be rich quick.”

super nice friendly WAY TO PATIENT girl: “Oh haha.  That’s just a saying ‘get rich quick’.  I don’t literally mean rich, although I wouldn’t complain, lol!”

Bitchy, underdog fighter, should probably mind her own business but can’t GRACE typed:

“Wow, dude you really are an asshole! Someone is trying to help you and you have to argue semantics?!?! Yeah go fuck yourself!”… then I deleted before hitting enter.  Started typing again, “Could you even say thank you?!?!?”  then deleted and so on.  Of course I couldn’t let it go at that, but I still have stuff to do, so I sent her a message basically saying I hope karma bites him in the ass, and it was nice of her to try to help the ungrateful piece of ……

I have now made a new friend. I liked her page, (which yah free traffic boost) and was now rested enough to try the treadmill again.

The next thing that “distracted me was the tv turning on (all by itself), and it triggering a new blog post idea….(sesame street and all I ever needed to know I learned in kindergarten) Which hopefully I will actually get around to writing because I think it’s good stuff….smh  I took a video, looked up the poem I am referring to, and got back on the treadmill.

No, I am not going to talk about all the distractions that occurred over the next 3 hours because I need to focus on the present.  (My other daughter will be here in a bit to work on the invitations for her bridal shower with me.  And I have learned, time goes by too damn fast, I want to BE PRESENT and in the moment while she is here.)

Wow instant focus!  I walked the last 3/4 of a mile in 15 minutes, typed off this rant, and should still have time to shower before she gets here.

I hope everyone celebrating the holiday next week has a great one.  Try to turn off your media and be in the NOW.  Time goes way too fast.  Try to be patient when someone is a jerk face. cliche cliche cliche…..