Category: Blogging Journey

Life is not a race to the finish line

~ msgracefulnot ~ 12 Comments

The ever evolving, “Where are you going with your blog? or “What do you want to do with your blog question?”…Guess what! I still don’t know……….lol.
Everytime, I think I have an answer it evolves. For each question I answer, I come up with 20 more, which sends me back to the drawing board.
A couple of weeks ago I CRASHED HARD, literally to the point of tears. After all the tears were dried up, and I walked away for a couple days I let the things that I have learned sink in. I wasn’t crying about the blog. I was crying because I let myself get overwhelmed with trying to do too many things, both on the internet and with my friends and family.

Welcome to my Blender of a Brain

I had this fantastic idea to start a blog.  I’m pretty good at finding the positive in even the worst situation, maybe I can help other people do the same.  Or maybe I can write about the “taboo” topics of MS, the shit no one wants to share with “normal people”.  Yes that would help because then people will know that they aren’t alone!  I was also toying with a new (to me) thought…. Do you ever realize how all the commercials on TV are from drug companies?  (Some of those side effects seem worse than the symptoms you are experiencing)  Pretty scary!  Then the conspiracy theorist in me comes out…. “What if its actually the drugs that are making you sick, or keeping you sick?”  Let’s test this out.  But where to begin?!?!  Yes that ONE question turned into 20 more also.  Ah ha!  That’s what I will write about.  My true life journey of getting healthier…..heh.  DUMB ASS!!! ( me not you)

I wish I could tell you that I had this great epiphany that I should slow down, but I didn’t.  My body told me.  The tears were a warning sign that I was getting overwhelmed.  The not sleeping at night was another.  But the knock me flat on my ass cold, flu, sickness thing that hit me was the real WAKE UP CALL. ( I am the most fidgety,  can’t sit still, am hardly ever home person you might know.)  The fact that I didn’t get out of bed for two days or leave my house for a week was my body protecting itself and saying….

What I really need to do is slow the hell down.  While it’s good to have goals, it is NOT good to flip your whole life upside down overnight to accomplish them.  My ultimate goal in life is to be better a better ME than I was before.  I am always telling people to slow down and just take a deep breath. So why don’t I listen to myself?!?!

I am also ALWAYS saying, “Focus on the positive”.  So here goes.  I’ve learned a lot over the last couple months.  I’ve met some great people, and made some new friends.  I stepped out of my comfort zone several times, and somehow even managed to lose weight.  I accomplished the monthly goals I made for myself each month, and now I am just focusing on getting through the next day.  One day at a time!

To all of you reading this, this isn’t goodbye.  (I paid for a whole year of wordpress :P)  and I still have lots to learn.  I just needed to “unload” and wanted to say Thank you for spending your time with me.

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t try this at home!

~ msgracefulnot ~ Leave a comment

I have been sitting here for an hour trying to start writing about MS.  I don’t have writer’s block, I have too many topics that I can’t focus on just one.  I’ve reviewed my pre-written list of Ramblings, and instead of selecting one, I’ve added 20 more.  While this is good for the future, it’s not what I want to do right now, so I have sat and stared at the screen literally for an hour.  Thankfully? I have places I have to be today and can’t continue to sit here for another hour.

The first place I have to go this morning is to the Eye doctor, SILLY DOCTOR gave me BIFOCALS last time, which in hindsight is utterly ridiculous for a person with MS. (I watch the ground when I walk, because I can’t feel my feet).  It’s not justified, but I am a bit upset with said doctor for not thinking of that considering they watched me walk in and out of their office several times.  Why didn’t they warn me?

I did admit that my upset is unjustified (doesn’t change the fact that it is there though).  It was MY mistake.  While I did notice my issues when leaving the doctor that first day, I thought I could manage and learn to deal with it.

Yeah Grace add another thing to your list of “deal with it”?!?!?

 I think I mentioned before that I make a lot of mistakes, and I believe that is ok as long as you learn from them.  In my case, it took me not one, not two, but 3 WIPEOUTS before I came to the conclusion that I REALLY, REALLY need new glasses.

Did I mention a person with walking and balance issues should NOT wear bifocals?!?!?

A PERSON WITH WALKING AND BALANCE ISSUES SHOULD NEVER WEAR BIFOCALS!!!!!

A PERSON WITH WALKING AND BALANCE ISSUES SHOULD NEVER WEAR BIFOCALS!!!!!

A PERSON WITH WALKING AND BALANCE ISSUES SHOULD NEVER WEAR BIFOCALS!!!!!

Well as they say, 3rd time is a charm?  Please learn from my experience and DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!!

I do hope to post about MS later today…wish me luck?

Well that didn’t go as planned

~ msgracefulnot ~ Leave a comment

Well that didn’t go as planned.   I never made it back to the computer yesterday. While finishing my coffee, I was reading a frantic post from a fellow MSer in one of the FB groups I belong to.  She was scared and having a panic attack.  (I really hate those!!)  One cup of coffee turned into 2 and so on.  Once this person was calmed down, I felt better.  I don’t know if I am the one who helped her or not, but I felt better that at least I tried.

After I finally showered, my old neighbor called and reminded me that I had asked her to go for a walk because I am trying to lose weight, an old friend called reminding me that I still had not met his 5 month old foster daughter and he finally had a day off of work so I could, and the bedding that I had to wash turned into 6 other loads of laundry.  Considering that just getting out of bed some days is tough, I had a very productive day.

By the end of the day…

I did walk almost ½ a mile before needing assistance.  (the goal for this year is to increase that to a mile)

I had an incredible visit with my friend and his kiddos.

I substituted a newly purchased e cig for a couple of cigarettes

Most importantly though, I remembered that Tomorrow would be a new day and to focus on what I had accomplished instead of what didn’t get done.

By the beginning of next week I hope to have more focused goals for losing weight, quitting smoking, watching a few more wordpress videos, and making a budget.

First blog post

~ msgracefulnot ~ 7 Comments

I am intentionally leaving this title as “First blog post”, because it is my very first post and I am totally making this shit up as I go.  If I was to change the title, it would probably end up being… “You prolly ought not have done that”.  But what the hell?

People are always telling me that I should start a blog.

The first problem is these people all know different sides of me.  Some know me as Mom.  Some know me as someone with Multiple Sclerosis.  Many people just think I am crazy, which after looking up the definition at http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term , I am ok with, in both cases. The second problem is that I have so much to say, so many things running through my hurricane of a brain, that I can’t pick just one topic.  I know a lot about several things, but wouldn’t claim to be a master at any of them.  I’m not sure where this blog or webpage adventure will take me, but since I know nothing about either, I am sure it will be an adventure!

First Steps

The way I did it (not necessarily the recommended way to do things.)  I thought and thought and thought and did nothing.  (not very productive).   Then I realized my to do list was getting longer and longer and decided to just “jump into it” (hence the skydiving picture) or it would never get done. It shouldn’t be scarier than that right?  Besides, you need to learn to walk before you run.

As I was heading to the computer to sign up at wordpress, I tripped over the air spilling coffee all over myself thinking “ Not very graceful there” , and decided on the name I would use to blog.  Graceful…..Not!

Next step

How do I upload my skydiving picture?  After all I did just jump into this.  Over the next couple of hours, yes HOURS, I finally figured out how to upload the picture to my computer, and publish it along with some other random stuff I shouldn’t have posted.  Oh well, live and learn.  AFTER doing all of this, I decided to share this baby accomplishment with my best friend.  I called him on skype (video chat), so I could share my screen with him and see the webpage from his screen.  (yes I do know there would have been easier ways of doing this, but it would not have been as much fun)  After playing with all the buttons, starting to explore themes, and laughing for another two hours…. This post is what I have to show for it.  Kind of like my parents went to……….and all I got was this lousy tshirt.