Thank you for your support

Earlier this week, I hope you saw the wonderful guest posts by Steve Markesich @ MSich Chronicles, Alyssa @ fightmsdaily, and Alex @ MS with Ms Alex If you missed their posts or have not seen their blogs, please take a minute to check them out!  These people are not only positive inspirations to those of us living with Multiple Sclerosis, but for me they have all become friends outside of the blogging world.  Alex and Steve have heard my tears, and offered their support and encouragement on numerous occasions.  Alyssa sends me frequent messages ‘just checking in’.  It is SO helpful to know that you are not alone when you are struggling!!!!!

Hope for the best, but plan for the worst

Something that MS has taught me is to try to plan ahead…to prepare for the worst, while hoping for the best.  I knew that this last week was going to be difficult for me: recovering from my own surgery, taking care of my father while he recovered from his surgery (which was cancelled and rescheduled), packing and moving, slump week, etc etc, so I reached out to my friends and asked them for “help”.

Asking for help is so hard

Even when I write about “not fun” or painful subjects, I try to keep things “humorous”. I didn’t want to feel as if I HAD to write something, so as hard as it is to ask for help, I am glad I did. (trust me if you were in my head with all the mood swings etc , you would block me, ignore me, or otherwise, cut me out of your life, so I decided to “remain silent”)   I won’t claim that  having my friends guest blog,  helped me FOCUS, but it did allow me time to try to wrap my head around everything that is happening, and to start getting “shit” done.

Better than I hoped

While I knew that my fellow bloggers would not disappoint with their pieces, I was surprised at the things that I learned from their writings.  I really wish I had Steve’s letter to himself (pre-Ms) when I was diagnosed.  It really is great advice!!!!! Alyssa’s Guest blog about the things she has tried for MS reminded me that we are all different, and that MS really is a snowflake disease.  (I’ve said it before, but it really hit home)  You have to fight for yourself, and what works for me, may not work for you.  Finally Alex’s post called the do’s and dont’s of MS, in which she shares how her “attitude” and sense of humor keep her going.  Alex is not only determined not to let MS define her, but she kicks ass for everyone around her as well.

THANK YOU again my friends

Thank you! Not only for taking the time to share on my blog, but for making a place for me in your lives, and helping me get through this rough patch.  I really did accomplish a lot, the worst events of the week were the alone time (when I was left alone with my thoughts)

tetris in a car BUT each day, I filled my car from floor to ceiling (hindsight says that was probably not the smartest way) and drove to my “new” place and unloaded my car.  Some days I even managed a second trip.

To “keep things interesting”, let me add that this move is  “double duty”.  Before I could move anything in, I had to begin emptying and cleaning the things that were left behind including the the ceramic tiles and tub from a bathroom.  But YAH, I am making progress!!!

Am I strong?

Lately, I have had several people tell me how strong I am.  I laugh and I quickly deny it thinking…… “If they only knew.”

I am not strong..but.. I am resourceful. 😉

I have an ARMY of POSITIVE people (ok some VERY strong) in my life that push me to get back up when getting out of bed is a struggle.  I don’t mean butterflies and rainbows positive, I mean the ones that will literally drag me out of bed, and tell me to put my big girl panties on.  People that REMIND me of the things I have survived, and that they NEED ME too.

I joke all the time that if not for bad luck I wouldn’t have any luck at all…..But I am lucky.

I have incredible parents, friends, and family that are always there to kick my ass back into reality when I need it.  They won’t LET me feel sorry for myself.  They remind me that although I have made 10,000,000 mistakes, I have learned something good from each of them. They remind me that there is always someone else that has it “harder” than me.man with no feet

Not only do my friends listen to and support me, by offering an ear or a shoulder, some days lots of kleenex, and the occasional “ass kicking”, but they share THEIR imperfections and learning experiences with me, and I LISTEN!!!!  Not as in taking advice listening, (I am bad at that), but I LISTEN and HEAR that EVERYONE has struggles, EVERYONE, has done things they aren’t proud of, has made mistakes, and taken some hits.Man walking at sunset

I gain something from EVERYONE I come into contact with, even if its a lesson in how I do not want to do things.

If you are struggling with depression, anxiety etc.  may I suggest that you consider “cleaning out your closet” and removing the things or people that don’t make you feel or push you to be stronger?

Let me again state that by positive people, I don’t mean all smiles all the time.  Here are some “strange examples”…

Me: I need to lose weight

Positive influence:  What are you gonna do about it?

Me: Um….. good point, it does start with me…

or another

Me:  I hate being broke!!!!

Positive influence:  Have you quit smoking yet?

Me:….grrrrrr, Ok Ok

So by positive, I mean the ones that call to say…..”Have you walked on the treadmill yet today?”….. The ones that genuinely care and celebrate your victories as their own!

But Back to my original question…… “Am I strong?”.… no, NOT even a little…. but I do have great “resources”.