Guest Blog for Newly Diagnosed!

MS WarriorI feel truly honored to be doing this guest blog for my dear sweet friend Grace. Grace is an absolutely phenomenal person and I am so thankful that I have had the chance to get to know her. Grace inspires me every day with how humble and strong she is! I know that she will disagree with me on this, but that just goes to show how modest she really is!

Are you a newly diagnosed MS Warrior? I say MS Warrior because all of us that have MS are so incredibly strong and fiercely tackle our illness! I was diagnosed with MS almost 18 years ago when I was just barely 19 years old. The events of this day are embedded into my mind forever. I remember being absolutely terrified because I had only known one person that had MS, my biological father’s wife, so NO relation at all and I guess it is clear that we are not close. She was of course a lot older than me, but she was in a wheelchair so I immediately thought that was going to be me. In my childlike mind I went from being diagnosed, to being wheelchair bound and then to death! But, now that I am older and wiser I know all those thoughts were NOTMS Warrior 2 true at all! Like I said, I have been living with this illness for 18 years and I am still walking and living life to the fullest!

My best advice to anyone that has been recently diagnosed or even those that have been living with MS for years is do your own research! Yes, you should trust your doctor, but you also know your body way better than anyone else. The doctors can recommend what they think is the best course of action with medication, but you are the one that has to take it, so you need to feel 110% comfortable with the choice because it is ultimately your choice, not theirs!

I can give you a rundown of what I have taken and what I have dealt with, but this is just my opinion and my experiences only. In the big picture I am not a medical professional, but am a professional in my own body! All those years ago when I was first diagnosed there were not options for oral medications only injection types. So, being young and naïve, I listened to my doctor and started on Rebif. Rebif is a 3 times a week sub cue injection. It honestly was not the injection part that was hard for me, it was the burning sensation I felt when the medicine entered my body. It felt like I was injecting myself with a stream of fire! Also the side effects from Rebif caused me to have flu-like symptoms the following day, which was no fun. I did what was recommended and pre-medicated, but being the stubborn person I am did not understand why I had to take one medicine in order to take another medicine that was supposed to help me. I started missing doses regularly because of how it was making me feel and the bruises I had from the injections and then just decided to tell my doctor it was not working out for me and fed3f7a42808627b5d83970c7ebe974c--multiple-sclerosis-awareness-curestopped it all together. I also ended up having more flare ups because I was not taking a disease modifying medication.

The next medication that was recommended to me was Tysabri. My doctor felt that Tysabri was still strong enough to keep my illness under control and I did not have to inject myself. Tysabri is a once a month infusion which really made me nervous, but I tried it anyways because I wanted my illness under control. For the two months I was on Tysabri I would be very sick for a few days afterwards unable to keep food down. I told my doctor that I could not continue taking something that caused me to be so sick and refused to go back for another infusion. I told y’all I am a very stubborn person, especially when it comes to what is best for my health. I am a little surprised I did not force my doctor into early retirement!

My doctor being the patient man he was talked to me about other options that were available for me. Luckily oral medicine was finally being released and we both agreed it was the best course of action for me. I would not have to inject myself with anything and I would not have to deal with infusions. I decided that Gilenya, which is a daily oral medicine, would be the best solution for me. We only ran into one very minor issue on Gilenya, my white blood cell count dropped to a very dangerous level, so instead of fight for a curetaking it daily, I would take it 3 times a week until my next blood test. Everything went very well on this plan and my next blood test came back great, so we increased it to four times a week. I have now been on Gilenya for 6 years now and went from taking it 4 times a week to daily and I am doing pretty well overall.

Although, last year in July I had so many people talking in my ear about what they thought was best for me that I stopped listening to my own thoughts, I guess you can say I was hearing too many voices! My husband thought that I had been on Gilenya for too long and needed to give my body a break because he remembered back when I first started it there was a protocol that said I should only be on it for 2 years and then get off of it for a short time, but be on something else. Now in his defense, I was having a lot of sinus issues and did some research on Gilenya’s website and found that there have been some cases of increased sinus troubles. I thought about this for so long and stressed myself to an extreme before deciding to try another oral medication. I did a lot of research on different medications before making the switch to Tecfidera. I went off of the Gilenya for one month to clear my system of it and went on Tecfidera, which is flare upanother oral form taken daily. I am not saying it was a bad decision, but I ended up having some serious issues. It was in October when I had the worst flare up I have had since being diagnosed. No one can say for sure if it was the stress I put myself through deciding to change medications or if it was the fact that Tecfidera was not strong enough for me. Well my doctor did tell me it was because the Tecfidera was not strong enough, but it was against her advice in the first place. Honestly, I do not have the best relationship with this doctor, my old that I trusted retired. After having a terrible MRI report, I decided to go back on Gilenya because it did so well for me for 6 years! Until there is a cure, I probably will not change medications again!

A very solid piece of advice I can give you is to avoid stress as much as you possibly can. I know it is hard to avoid stress because it happens to all of us, but stress is a HUGE trigger for flare ups. Honestly, I am giving you this advice because I am a walking talking stress case and it has caused me so many additional problems and pain! I don’t want to scare you anymore than you probably already are, but the flare up I already mention I had in stock-photo-concept-conceptual-mental-stress-at-workplace-or-job-abstract-round-word-cloud-isolated-on-452180749October, was solely due to stress! All that stress could have and should have been avoided, but it was not because I allowed stress to consume me and I am still dealing with some issues almost five months later. It was a very harsh lesson to learn, but I already knew what stress could do to your body and I just let it get the best of me. I have found the best way to combat stress is to find a hobby that you enjoy! My hobbies that I truly do love include reading and writing; I just wish I had focused more on my hobbies than I did in October and less worrying about my illness.

I want you to know that you are not alone with this battle. There are so many people out there that understand your struggles and will support you! I am always here for you if you have any questions or need to someone to vent to. I started my own blog in July because I wanted to be able to raise awareness of MS but also offer support to those in need. My blog is https://wordpress.com/view/fightmsdaily.com. I am a very strong believer in positive thoughts create positive things in life. I do realize it is not always easy to think positive when you are scared, in pain or suffering, but that is where it helps to lean on someone else! I can also tell you that following my dear sweet friend Grace’s blog will be helpful to you. Grace is pretty amazing and has a tremendous amount of strength and courage!

love

Always, Alyssa

NOT your “Typical Blogger” Award

In my opinion, the Liebster Award and Mystery blogger and whatever name you want to call it awards are about promoting your friends or other bloggers that you follow.

Nominating someone for the award not only let’s them know that you appreciate their work,  but it helps them to grow their following. To those of you that have nominated me for the awards… THANK YOU!!! I really do appreciate it….. BUT…..

I don’t follow or play by the rules well so instead…..

I have decided to share some of my favorite blogs with you and you can decide for yourself if you want to follow.  The blogs that I have chosen to list are the ones that make me laugh the most.  I have purposefully NOT included the blogs I follow about MS, or other chronic illnesses, because today is just NOT an MS day for me.

If you have time, check them out.  Links to their blogs are in blue.  If you like their blog leave them a comment and let them know Grace sent you?

AND TO MY CHILDREN (because I know you secretly read my blog) check out the ones I have told you about 😛

Up first is HANDS DOWN my all time Favorite blog.  I love her sense of humor, her bluntness, and and and…. I will caution you though… Do not drink anything while reading her blog, I have had to replace my keyboard from the coffee spillage.  If you do check out DGGYST...don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Up next is The Incurable Dreamer.  She writes from the heart and is another that you can not drink anything while reading.  I haven’t known her as long as DG, but I have not read on post that I didn’t love.  My Favorite is the sticky side always goes down.

Next on the list is Superman.  I “met” him a little over a month ago, because he commented: “You have a shepherd. I love all dogs but GS’s are my favorite. Anyone with a GS is worth following. Great post”  My first thought was WTF?!?!  I responded saying “so you like me for my dog?…that’s a first :P…Thank you for following 🙂”  Since that time, I think I have read every post he has ever written.  ( ok and maybe I went back and read more…shhhh)  He writes everything.  I can’t put a label on it, but again, I assure you, his blog is worth a look!!!!  I can’t decide on a favorite, so I just picked one or two What If, installment 1.

And FINALLY….. Bloggingwithbojana.  I have to throw in another coffee warning here though, this time it is to drink ALOT of it before you read her posts.  (Not because they will put you to sleep, but because she really makes you think)  She is very articulate, and for those of us not so articulate DEEP!….I ponder her posts for days…..

Well there you have it, my recommendations for the “Grace loves these guys blogs”.

Thank you for stopping by.  If you have a favorite blog, or one that you think I might like, drop the link below, or send me a message please!!!  If you think someone might like mine, pimp me up!!! 😛

 

 

 

 

Air Travel with MS- Use the tools available!!!

I wrote earlier this week about planning my trip to Boston in April.  I made a joke about riding a horse on the subway, because humor (at least the attempt to be humorous) is how I deal with Anxiety.

I spent a couple days smh thinking that spending 17 hours in a car almost sounded better than a 2 hour flight.  No I am not a masochist!  What I am is ‘experienced’.  It’s sad to say, but dealing with people at the airport can be just as mentally and physically draining as making a 17 hour drive.  Often times, people are pushy, judgmental, and downright rude, especially to individuals with “invisible illnesses”.

In the past, I have let other people’s opinions, push me to try to handle more than I could.  I have fallen numerous times at the airport because I insisted on trying to “do everything myself”.  The LAST time I tried to go without assistance, I ended up falling and breaking my arm.  (Go big or go home?)  For some reason, I insist on learning things the hard way :(.   I didn’t have a choice about using a wheelchair on the way home after that.

I have requested wheelchair assistance each and every time I have flown after that, but it still stresses me out so much.  I HATE the stares I get because “I don’t look sick”.  I hate that because I become so uncomfortable, I think I make my companions uncomfortable.  I want this time to be different!  While I can’t control other people’s ignorance, I am determined to control my reactions to their ignorance.  If at first you don’t succeed try, try again?

So….This morning I put pen to paper (so to speak) to try to lessen my anxiety.  Here is what I came up with.

Requesting wheelchair assistance when you “don’t look sick’?

A Series of Hurdles

HURDLE #1

LOCATING a Wheelchair. When pulling up to the curb….there are police everywhere, hurry hurry get out of your car…. um I can’t... past experience has taught me that it is better to plant my ass right where it is while someone brings me a wheelchair.  I have notified the airline ahead of time that I need wheelchair assistance., but to be honest, they are usually not prepared.  So I will sit and wait.  After waiting 5 or 10 minutes (which will feel like an hour) for a wheelchair to be located.  I will stand up, take two steps to the wheelchair and sit down.  My bags will be handed to me and I will be ready for  the next hurdle.

HURDLE # 2

Now the staring and judgement begin.  (if it didn’t already when I took two whole steps).  100’s of eyeballs will be on me.  She doesn’t look sick, why is she using a wheelchair?  She must just be lazy etc etc etc.  I can literally feel the eyeballs combing every inch of my body looking for some outward sign that I have a disability.  (after experiencing this so many times, is it any wonder I no longer possess even a shred of modesty?)

Hurdle #3

Getting in line to check in.  While I am going to do the online check in thing, and print our boarding passes before we leave for the airport, for one reason or another, I often end up having to go to customer service.  The biggest hurdle that this poses is additional time,  (gone are the days of arriving at the airport 20 minutes before your flight leaves) but OK,  ALLOW Extra time….CHECK!

Hurdle #4-

Now to navigate the airport.  I used to ask my friends, kids, etc to push the wheelchair through the airport because I felt selfish asking an employee for help when there might be someone that needed it more, But people do not pay attention to wheelchairs. So many are busy dealing with their own stresses, they do not realize that they are standing right in the middle of a walkway. (Someone tried to yell at my daughter once for running into her even though she was the one that walked right into me, and even dropped her water in my lap….yeah that didn’t go so well) So now I let the airline personnel do the “driving”.  I have learned that there are fewer confrontations and angry words this way.navigating the airport

As I began writing this today, I remembered reading a fellow “mser’s” blog about Traveling with MS as a companion, so I paused to look for it.  I’m glad I did, his words about trying to navigate an airport with balance issues summarized it better than I could.  In his blog he says,

 “You see, people inside an airport are clueless. They wander around, either looking at their phones, looking for their gates, looking for something to eat, somewhere to sit, or rushing through the crowd like a running back picking a hole to run through, and they are all oblivious to who or what is in front of them, in back of them, or around them. That is not a good feeling for someone with balance issues, so I simply steered to one side of the terminal and stopped or slowed down when someone threatened to invade my orbit, using my cane to secure my space if necessary. It felt like walking through a mine field.”

He is absolutely correct.  I DO NOT need that headache. Here is the link to the full blog post, if you would like to read the entire thing.  I recommend it! (hint hint)

Hurdle #5 Dealing with the Dreaded Airport Security- or TSA agents

To some, calling someone “a TSA agent” could be a worse insult than calling them an “Asshole”, maybe they are synonyms?  Even though I know these agents are there for our protection, most people see them as another hurdle.  For me though, even though very time consuming, this is the least stressful part of the whole airport experience.  The last time I  tried to go through security the “normal way”, they asked told me to STAND STILL in the full body scanner….lol me stand still?!?!?  Yeah right!!! I tried 3x and kept touching the inside of the machine (balance issues).

I did almost accomplish this ONE time, but still had to go through a pat down because they questioned the bag of pee strapped to my calf.  (More about that another time though)  So now I just request a pat down.  The fact that I have been “delivered in a wheelchair” saves time answering questions.

If you really think about it, the pat downs really aren’t so bad.  I assure you the agents that have to do them are way more uncomfortable than you will ever be and it is for your protection.  ( In today’s society with all of the lawsuits and people that are so easily offended, I would be terrified of losing my job every time I was forced to touch someone)

TSA notification cardI found this card this morning while checking out TSA’s website.  Maybe it’s helpful?  I might print it and take it with, but I assume it’s just as easy to request a pat down.  The site is interesting enough if you have time to check it out.

Okay pat down complete now to find the gate.  (I really should stop asking the agents for a kiss when they are done….I’m sure they have heard that joke one too many times)

Getting to the gate is relatively easy, if the agents are doing the driving.  Then its just a matter of waiting.  I anticipate a few more angry stares when I get out of the wheelchair and WALK to the bathroom.  (even more if I stand facing the toilet in a woman’s bathroom to  drain the catheter bag)  A few more when the airline “let’s” me board with woman and small children…… but really who’s problem is that?

^^^^ took me two days to write.  As I did, my anxiety about the upcoming trip “melted away”.  I typed, I cut, I typed again….etc etc.  I reread my own words numerous times.  The only question I have left, is “Why do I care so much, what other people think?”  I tell people all the time “you do you”.  Maybe it’s time I listened to my own advice?

Dangerous Thinking

I read a great blog post earlier that I want to share. The post is very heartfelt about the “one that got away”. I love that he was able to share his emotions, but still realize as he says in the last lines…I am glad that my windshield is bigger than my rearview mirror, I have so much to see that is ahead of me and I can’t be distracted by what is behind me. It’s just plain dangerous thinking.

Billy Mac's avatarThe Tao of Bill

jjj-2018

It is amazing what can be conjured up from the dark recesses of the psyche. So many experiences laying dormant, waiting for the right odor or sound or phrase to bring it to the forefront of your mind. Yesterday, as I now see was a poorly planned but heartfelt post about being passionate, I accidentally triggered myself. In attempting to tell a story, I forced myself to think about her…the one that got away. Now I can’t chase the memories out of my head.

I have stated in previous posts that I have never really been happy. I don’t say this in a please feel bad for me way, I’m not like that. I say it because for the longest time I have felt a bit numb, detached and joyless as if I’m on the outside looking in at my life. I’m there but I’m not present. I now know…

View original post 823 more words