A Trailer “fell in my lap”

February 27, 2018October 5, 2018 ~ msgracefulnot ~ 17 Comments

Ok not literally, but YAH I have a “Free trailer”

I have mentioned before that I grew up “in the sticks”, and I have also alluded to the fact that I was kind of raised as a tom boy. I know how to drive a tractor, trailer, dirt bikes, 3 wheelers, and even a skid loader. My father owns many of these items, but in his “old age” I think he has “forgotten” how to use them. I am being very sarcastic here, because he still uses them all the time, except for in the winter. For some silly reason, he no longer takes his truck off road, he barely takes it out in the winter for fear of rust….SMH (more sarcasm) AND when he bought his newest truck, he bought one with only a 6 foot bed.

(The guy who raised me telling me that if you couldn’t fit a full sheet of drywall or plywood in the back of a truck it wasn’t a REAL Truck, bought a truck with a 6 foot bed!!!!!!!!) SMH He even owns two plows, but doesn’t drive his “new baby” in the winter?!?!??!?!

Figuring I still had a few more weeks of winter before I had access to a truck and trailer, and the ‘silly doctor’s’ “don’t lift 15 lbs for 2 weeks limit” I’d been packing a little here and a little there to try to respect the doctor’s restriction, so I had stacks and stacks of rubbermaid totes all over Einstein’s house. ( a few in this room and a few in that room) but then a trailer “fell in my lap”….how could I resist?!?!?

Thing two and her boyfriend “D” were using D’s truck with my father’s trailer to move a couple motorcycles and I “conned” D into giving me a couple hours of his time in exchange for homemade lasagna. The ‘Catch’ was, I only had the trailer and D’s help for a couple hours…. hurry hurry hurry.

OK PRIORITIZE, what goes first?

Air mattress already set up at the new place…so don’t worry about the bed
You’ve got some clothes and essentials there so don’t bother with more ( besides they will fit in your car)
The most important non negotiable material things that I need a trailer for are my Grandma’s kitchen table and my desk (both had to be disassembled though) So I decided to start there. I went into the office…and froze… OMG this is real.

Anxiety Can Paralyze You

I immediately started having doubts. “Were things really that bad here?” “So much work, for so many years….shouldn’t I try harder?” It didn’t help that Einstein has been the man I fell in love with for the last couple weeks since I said I was moving, he even tried to take care of me post surgery and cooked me dinner?!??! (ftr this has NEVER happened) He helped me with a 3 d printer design and and and….. oh no….NOT AGAIN….. You’ve got this Grace. So I froze. and then I stopped breathing….wtf?!?!? I was just about to walk out of the office making excuses that I should follow doctors orders blah blah blah and then not one but two familiar faces popped up on messenger….”Just checking on you grace.” Suddenly I could breathe again. (This anxiety shit really is no joke.)

The Therapeutic Power of Music

I selected random play for the music on my phone and Kesha “Praying” came on. ( I am in no way religious, although maybe it would be helpful if I was, I am not. It doesn’t change the fact that the song is incredible and something I will continue to listen to) If you have a second, the link is for her official video, and for me it hits home. The next song was “New Rules” by Dua Lipa, followed by “Not meant to be” by Theory of a Deadman. Before I knew it the desk was not only disassembled, but I had dragged it out of the “office” to the front door. I set up a card table where the desk used to be and reconnected my computer. The legs were removed from my Grandma’s table ( I couldn’t dream of moving that by myself though, WAY TOO HEAVY) But I did it!

One Step at a Time

Plan for the worst, hope for the best

February 15, 2018October 5, 2018 ~ msgracefulnot ~ 12 Comments

Last week, as I was planning for the rough road ahead, I wrote and scheduled several blog posts in between packing. ( I really do have a lot of shit…smh)

I believe in planning for the worst while hoping or planning for the best. ( I assumed I will be too emotional and busy packing to focus on keeping up with my blog and maybe too drugged from surgery) So, tomorrow I have a video post coming out about Advice for those newly diagnosed with ms and a video about how I was diagnosed with MS (previously recorded of course). I have asked a few fellow bloggers to add their advice and stories as well in the form of guest posts during the following week.

The bloggers I have included have been more than inspirational to me during this “rough time” WHILE still dealing with their own MS issues. Please come back and check out their posts, and if you have time their blogs as well. If you know anyone that has MS or another chronic illness, these guys are GREAT sounding boards and examples of how to make it day to day with MS.

Let me repeat, I AM NOT LEAVING THE BLOGGING world, I just don’t want to set myself up for failure or lose any progress I have made scheduling posts etc. I have met so many wonderful people here in the blogging world (one positive addiction) that I know I will be checking and responding to comments.

AND…. On the positive side, Thing 1 is getting married on March 10th, family is coming in from out of town, my Boston Trip is coming up…busy busy busy 🙂

Please check out my post and videos that are coming out tomorrow, and if we aren’t able to “Catch up” ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND!!!!!

My One thing box…. so DOING IT WRONG…..

January 13, 2018February 9, 2018 ~ msgracefulnot ~ 15 Comments

A few months ago, the LAST time I almost had a “mini mental breakdown” from trying to be superwoman ( GRACE, the damn costume does NOT fit) a really great friend of mine said, “Damn it Grace, will you just slow down?!?!? Focus on ONE THING, just one thing at a time!!!” “Yeah, yeah” I replied. ” I got it. (as I added 20 more things to my to do list)

We finished our conversation and she said, “I’ve got it! I am making something for you.” Ok? I didn’t really think much more about it…..

A month later, a box arrived from Florida, ( I live in Illinois)…..hmmmm Not medical supplies, (they come from Texas)…. Not my prescriptions…(THOSE came LAST week) too big of a box to be more bills ( besides that, medical collectors like to use big flashy envelopes so that all your neighbors know you are a slacker)

Duh, Florida! Bones is from Florida!!!!!!!!

She said she was sending you something…..

My mind went back to what I THOUGHT was our last conversation in which we had talked about going thrift shop shopping for an ugly “tiki like” statue.

The side story behind the “Tiki statue”.

Although I have “known” Bones for almost 3 years, we have only ever “hung out” (in person) two times. I live in Illinois, she lives in Florida. We “met” playing an online game on facebook, and it was over a year of talking on the phone, skype etc before we actually met in person. She was supposed to come stay with me for a week in Sept. of last year, even had purchased her airline ticket, but Hurricane Maria hit the day she was supposed to fly out. 😦 So the trip was cancelled.

We tried to find time in our schedules to pick another day, but with the holidays coming and my daughter’s upcoming wedding, we decided to wait and try again next year. To hold ourselves “accountable” we agreed to purchase the ugliest statue that we could find to be left at the other ones house. The only way you could get rid of the statue was to “deliver” it in person to the other one.

So back to the package…..

Why was she sending me the Tiki package? That wasn’t our plan. We were going to pick one out together….. 😦 and it was supposed to be HAND delivered or retrieved…. Hmmmm well I’m just not gonna open it! 😛

The box sat by the door for 2 hours before Einstein pestered me enough to open it.

I’m glad I was sitting on the floor when I did. Fucking tears came out of no where. When I opened the box this is what I saw…..

ONE THING

She had HAND MADE me my very own “One Thing” box to remind me to….. SLOW THE HELL DOWN!!!

Who knew that this woman that lives more than 1000 miles away from me, that I met playing an online game, would become one of the best friends anyone could ask for?!?!?

The box is not only a box to collect my to do lists. Bones did research on why I use the ORANGE ROSE as my blog picture. (Orange is the color for MS awareness and I printed the rose on our 3d printer, when I was feeling especially blah one day to remind myself that there is still beauty in the world) I know….. cheesy, but it works for me. She found images of butterflies, which I didn’t know also represent MS awareness.

Inside of the box she taped the picture of me skydiving that I had posted on my newly created blog’s welcome page. She included cut out One Thing “tags” with a letter explaining that how I was supposed to use this box. She said, ” This is for your LONG list of To-do’s, but…. BUT you can ONLY place ONE task on each piece of paper.” Of course there were more “rules”, but you get the gist?

Well I’m still doing it wrong……

I THOUGHT I was doing it right, but I was writing tags like the ones on the left, when I probably should have done more like the ones on the right.

Just because the words fit in the box, does not mean they will fit into a day!!!!…smh

Plan BOSTON?!?!? Seriously what the hell was I thinking?!?!? Yep I’m gonna plan a trip with 3 other people all by myself in one day! Doh! I tried, I reached out to everyone to confirm airline selections before booking. I couldn’t reach anyone, but outgoing messages were sent. So let’s start with cleaning the house. I probably should have chosen to vacuum OR dust OR laundry instead of tackling all of the rooms and all of the chores at once....but but…the tag said ONE thing…. and I only wrote ONE THING!!! CLEAN THE HOUSE!!!!!

I did manage to make a lot of progress on the lists on the left, but didn’t actually finish anything except for cleaning the house. ALL OF THE LAUNDRY washed, dried, folded AND put away!!!! All the dishes, vacuuming, dusting, and I even washed the floors and cleaned the bathrooms. As I laid down, (passed out) on the couch, utterly exhausted, I looked at the vacuum cleaner that I had neglected to empty or put away, and started the next day’s list….

The next day…..

I laid on the couch all damn day and most of the next….I was in so much pain.

WHEN will I learn?!?!?!?

I really don’t understand why I push myself so hard. smh I’m sure it has something to do with no longer being able to work outside my house, and self worth and all that, but I KNOW I will PAY for it later, yet I keep doing it.

Definition of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/unknown_133991

Thank you all for listening to me ramble! (WordPress is cheaper than a shrink)

Anyone have any ideas why I’m always in such a hurry to get EVERYTHING done?

Bones? Have I told you lately that I love you?!?!? ( get that song stuck in your head)

I never dreamed that this blogging adventure would lead me to so many supportive people and new friends. 🙂 I’ve had the time of my life 🙂 🙂 🙂

Well that didn’t go as planned

October 3, 2017February 9, 2018 ~ msgracefulnot ~ Leave a comment

Well that didn’t go as planned. I never made it back to the computer yesterday. While finishing my coffee, I was reading a frantic post from a fellow MSer in one of the FB groups I belong to. She was scared and having a panic attack. (I really hate those!!) One cup of coffee turned into 2 and so on. Once this person was calmed down, I felt better. I don’t know if I am the one who helped her or not, but I felt better that at least I tried.

After I finally showered, my old neighbor called and reminded me that I had asked her to go for a walk because I am trying to lose weight, an old friend called reminding me that I still had not met his 5 month old foster daughter and he finally had a day off of work so I could, and the bedding that I had to wash turned into 6 other loads of laundry. Considering that just getting out of bed some days is tough, I had a very productive day.

By the end of the day…

I did walk almost ½ a mile before needing assistance. (the goal for this year is to increase that to a mile)

I had an incredible visit with my friend and his kiddos.

I substituted a newly purchased e cig for a couple of cigarettes

Most importantly though, I remembered that Tomorrow would be a new day and to focus on what I had accomplished instead of what didn’t get done.

By the beginning of next week I hope to have more focused goals for losing weight, quitting smoking, watching a few more wordpress videos, and making a budget.