Mission failed. Objective accomplished

My mission- in my own words

“Travel from Northern IL to Holland, Michigan and back without the use of my legs.” 

My objective  

To not only test if the Amtrak and Metra were handicap accessible, but to see if I could make it there and back in a wheelchair.

Wait a minute, the mission and the objective sound the same?

I thought so too, but the trip proved to me that I was sadly mistaken. The phrases “being in a wheelchair” and “not having use of your legs” are NOT synonymous.  I stated in my last post,

to make it an accurate Test, the circumstances need to be the same.  So with the exception of driving myself to the train station, ( I would be willing to pick her up and drop her off) I have made all of my travel plans from what I FELT was the perspective of someone who does not have use of their legs.

I also made the statement that….”I do agree that just because something SAYS it’s handicapped accessible, doesn’t mean that it actually is.”  While I did use the wheelchair, I did use my legs to pivot to the toilet once I was as close as I could get the chair.  I also climbed in bed ‘normally.’  I did not pull myself onto the bed.  I stood up and climbed in.  No wonder not everything that says handicap accessible is handicap accessible, how can you cover every possible limitation that someone might have?

Because I view every mistake, or experience as a learning opportunity,  I’ve been doing alot of reading and research about different levels of disability and the laws and services that are in place to as the ADA says

give civil rights protections to individuals with disabilities similar to those provided to individuals on the basis of race, color, sex, national origin, age, and religion. It guarantees equal opportunity for individuals with disabilities in public accommodations, employment, transportation, state and local government services, and telecommunications. The ADA is divided into five titles (or sections) that relate to different areas of public life.

Another thing that I found interesting is an article at https://www.apa.org/pi/about/newsletter/2015/11/handicap-disabilities, which describes the difference between disability and handicap.

Defining Disability

First, what does disability itself mean? A disability is a condition or quality linked to a particular person. A disability is present when activities usually performed by people (such as walking, talking, reading, learning) are in some way restricted. Thus, someone with congenital blindness has a disability, as does someone who must use a wheelchair for mobility purposes. Other disabilities are not necessarily apparent, for example, acquired brain injury or chronic depression.

Defining Handicap

In everyday life, some people use the term handicap or refer to people with disabilities as the handicapped. The first term — handicap — refers to an obstacle imposed on people by some constraint in the environment. Older buildings that lack ramps for wheelchair access, for example, present a handicap for people who use wheelchairs. In this case, a wheelchair user is handicapped — her mobility through use of her wheelchair is disrupted — by the missing ramp. However, she actually is not handicapped herself; rather, the handicapping element is in the environment, not within her.

So while I accomplished my ultimate goal or objective by proving that I could make it to Michigan and back in a wheelchair,   I did not prove that EVERYONE in a wheelchair could make this trip.  I’m not saying they can’t, but I am saying that I didn’t challenge myself in this way.

Later this week I will share the story in a  “Grace style” post telling you THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH about my “adventure”. Einstein gave me one instruction before I left.  HE said, “Don’t break anything”…. I laughed.

I shouldn’t have.  😦

**Spoiler alert**

The trip CAN be made by someone without the use of their legs.

 

 

 

 

Your mission, should you choose to accept it

If you suddenly found yourself  without the use of your legs, would your life stop?

There was a point in my life that I would have said being in a wheelchair in any capacity would have been the end of my life. In fact, when I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis almost 20 years ago, and the neurologist pushed a wheelchair across the room saying I should “get used to it”. I truly thought my life was over.   At 26 years old, I was so naive.

Fortunately, over the last 20 years my time spent in a wheelchair has been minimal.  I haven’t required it’s daily use in years (other than when I was recovering from a surgery)

So what is this mission thing I am talking about?

The mission:  Travel from Northern IL to Holland, Michigan and back without the use of my legs.

Why am I doing it?

The reasons I decided to do this are ever evolving or changing. In my post, Where there is a Will there is a Grace, I explained that my daughter’s mother in law wanted to come visit the grandbabies.  I didn’t want to drive to Michigan and back to pick her up and drop her off so I suggested that she take the train.  Everyone was concerned that the train’s were not wheelchair accessible.

This is where my reasons for doing it began to change.  I am no longer doing this to avoid a long drive.  Past experience has told me that handicap accessible does not always mean handicap accessible, so I volunteered to “test” the route first.  To make it an accurate Test, the circumstances need to be the same.  So with the exception of driving myself to the train station, ( I would be willing to pick her up and drop her off) I have made all of my travel plans from what I felt was the perspective of someone who does not have use of their legs.

Once I began making reservations, my reasons for making the trip began to change again.  Each roadblock or hurdle that I came across, (I will explain more below) has made me more determined than ever to prove to myself that when or if the day comes that I am in a wheelchair full-time, my life will not be over.  I also hope to share what I learn with anyone else that might have the same fears about traveling like this.  (yes I have realized there are many things that are making me nervous)

My original plan was to drive to the Metra Station in Harvard, ILAs I mentioned before, getting a ride to and from the train station would not be an issue for T or for me, so I decided to allow myself to drive there and begin the test once I arrived at the train station.)   From the Metra station in Harvard, I would take the 2 hour train ride to The Chicago OTC (Ogilvie Transportation Center) where I would need to TRANSFER to Chicago’s Union Station to catch the Amtrak Train leaving for Holland at 6:30 pm arriving at 10:40 pm

:/ What does transfer mean, and how would I be doing it?  Google maps says that it’s a short 5 min walk.  For who?  (Actual distance is .3 miles.)  Are my arms strong enough to roll myself that far?  Would I be able to navigate through crowds with a wheelchair, or would everyone ignore me as they rushed about their lives?  What if it was 100 degrees or raining outside?  Still undecided if I had the guts to try this on my own, I found a link to Open Taxi’s which would take me from Chicago’s OTC to Union Station for $7.00 if I needed it.

Assuming I made it Union Station in one piece, I would need to be at the Amtrak station one hour before departure…. Ugh.  Since trains only leave Harvard every couple of hours, I would have to be on the train by 1:35 pm to make it to Chicago on time 😦  Maybe I look for a different way into Union Station?  It was already going to be a long trip, did I really want to spend more time sitting and waiting?!?  I decided not to make a decision about the Metra just yet and went back to exploring the Amtrak portion of the trip.

The Amtrak train would arrive in Holland at 10:40 p.m., but the train from Holland to Chicago did not depart until 6:40 the next morning.  That meant getting a hotel for the night.  (maybe paying me $200.00 to drive there and back would be cheaper after all?)  In effort to keep the costs down, I found a “cheap hotel”, but they didn’t offer shuttle service.  How would I get to the hotel in the middle of the night? Was there a different type of taxi for a passenger in a wheelchair?  Maybe Lyft?

A quick google search, showed that The Lyft app allows passengers with accessibility needs to enable Access Mode. In certain markets, when Access Mode is enabled, passengers may request a vehicle that is specially outfitted to accommodate wheelchairs.    (Not very reassuring)  To give them credit though, Lyft’s website does provide step by step instructions  complete with pictures explaining how to request wheelchair access.

I called everyone back to discuss the total cost of the trip to make sure they were willing to cover it, and got confirmation to book the hotel and train tickets. I went back to the Amtrak site to book the tickets, but did not see a link to request assistance for traveling in a wheelchair.  Fortunately, the site does have a virtual assistant that does make it relatively easy to book online. I chose to call Amtrak instead though, because I had other questions.

  1. If the train station is unmanned, how will anybody know that I am waiting on the platform, or that I need help?
  2. Are all of the restrooms also handicap accessible?

Surprisingly, I learned they are not.  While the customer service agent assured me there are handicap accessible restrooms on the train, not all are, even though those same cars have wheelchair seating.   Interesting?  I will have to investigate that further.  (It is a 3 hour long ride after all)

I booked our Amtrak tickets, made a hotel reservation, and checked in with a friend whose hubby used to drive for Lyft.  All that was left to do was to purchase Metra tickets.  I looked into a different Metra station that had trains running into Chicago hourly.  Sure I would have to drive further, but again I would be willing to do the same for T, so I consider it “allowed”.  After I downloaded the app to be able to purchase tickets, my mind started drifting back to 20 years ago when I took this same train to go to school in Chicago.  More questions…..

  1.  Didn’t I always have to climb stairs to board the train?
  2. Was there a special car for wheelchair seating?  How would I identify it?
  3. How would I pay for parking and how long was that payment good for?  (I used to have to rollup dollar bills and shove them in a machine.)  Hmmm, maybe there is an app for that too?

My questions made me start to second guess myself.  Ut oh, MORE RESEARCH!  I went back to Metrarail.com.  Again, the link about traveling in a wheelchair is not visible on their homepage, but using their search box and digging a bit produced a 26 page downloadable guide.  The guide answered my first two questions, though I have begun to make myself a bit nervous.  I’m in it now….

Parking still remained a question though.  I finally found an app that you could pay for parking online or from your phone.  Unfortunately, that same search informed me that there was no overnight parking at any of the Metra stations in Elgin…..   Grrr.

I am very grateful that my parents are as helpful and supportive as are.  I am going to park my car at their house overnight, and they will drive me to the station and pick us up the next day.  They will also be keeping D.O.G. overnight for me, although I don’t think I remembered to actually ask for that part yet.  Doh!

Everything is booked.  Adventure awaits!

As I started to think about packing, I realized that the only backpack I own holds the legs to my wheelchair when I am not using them.  How do you carry a purse or any kind of luggage if you are using your arms to push yourself in a wheelchair?  Do most wheelchairs have legs on them, or are they designed taller so your legs don’t touch the floor?  If I allow myself to worry I will never do this, so the new answer is One thing at a time.  I am sure I will make a lot of mistakes, but that’s how you learn right?

One last thing I found that I will have to investigate further when I get home, (not enough time now) is that the Regional Transit Authority or RTA  provides free one on one ADA training programs for using public transportation.

 

 

 

 

Where there is a WILL there is a GRACE?

You’ve all heard the expression, “Where there is a will there is a way” correct?

Thing One: “Mom, mommy, mother-dearest?”

Oh shit!….

Me: “I mean yes dear, what’s up?”

Thing One:  “Z and I were wondering if you would make a road trip to Michigan and pick up Z’s mom so she could come stay with us and see the boys?”

Me:  “ARE YOU FRICKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?”

Thing One:  “You don’t have too!!! It’s just that last time she came down here, her “friend” charged her $400.00 and that’s just insane.”

Me:  “Sure, I will do it for $200.00”

Thing One: “MOM!”  ” Seriously, MOM!  Of course she would pay you for gas and stuff, but she can’t afford that, and this way you could even earn a little cash.”

Me:  “Like I said $200.00.”  😀

Thing One:  (shaking her head) “Just think about it ok?”

STUPID THOUGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!

Treat other people like you want to be treated Grace.

How would you feel if you were so far away from the kids or grandbabies?

Hell you couldn’t handle being away from them for the week you were in Italy……

LOOK at those faces!!!!!!!  DAMMIT!!!!!

boys

Before I continue, let me provide a bit of background information.  Z’s mom is in a wheelchair full time and doesn’t drive.  She lives 300 miles away from the kids and I.  I do have the time and the ability to make the trip, but the last time I tried to do something nice for Z’s mom…. I was left feeling very frustrated and vowed that I would never go out of my way to help her again.

After playing devil’s advocate with myself for more than an hour, I called Thing One again.  I told her, it would take me about 5 hours each way to drive there.  Realistically I COULD make the trip in under a day, and it would cost me about $50 in gas and tolls each way, but I really really didn’t want to do it.  Besides, I got a speeding ticket a couple weeks ago, which would make taking a long road trip all the more stressful.  (watch your speed Grace, watch your speed!!!!!)

The next day Z’s mom, (T) called me.

T: “Grace, while the kids were here last month they mentioned that you might be willing to help me get from Michigan to Illinois and back so I could come visit the boys.  I would be willing to pay you.”

Me:  “Have you considered taking the train like Z did when the kids were dating?”

T:  “I did, but Z said the Amtrak is not handicap accessible.”

Me:  “hmm, that surprises me in this day and age.”

T:  “Yeah, I know.  I really miss them and I am trying to figure out how to get down there.”

Right in the feels 😦

Me:  Let me look into it more and if it’s not handicap accessible, I will come get you ok?

T:  “THANK YOU!!!!”

Before we even hung up the phone, I headed to the fridge to grab a beer.  I opened google and typed  how the hell do I get out of this?!?!?!... “Is _______ Amtrak station handicapped accessible?”

Inkedaccessible_LI

It was!  Yay end of story?!?!!………….. yeah right.  Do you not know me by now?

This is where the real story begins.

I called T back and told her what I had found out. She still didn’t sound convinced.

I do agree that just because something SAYS it’s handicapped accessible, doesn’t mean that it actually is.  So now we go back to the whole treat other people like you want to be treated thing.  I can’t ask someone to do something that I wouldn’t be willing to do myself, and to be honest I have never traveled full time in a wheelchair.

As far as I was concerned the only way I could know for sure, would be to do it myself.  I asked Einstein to “hold my beer” while I called the kids.  I told them that if they were willing to cover my travel expenses, I would be willing to make the trip to Michigan to meet her, and to travel back with her all the while remaining in my wheelchair.

The kids thought it would be a great idea and would make T more comfortable taking the trip by herself in the future.  I called her back and she said she was “all in”.  So next week I am heading to Michigan.  I am still working out the details, which (spoiler alert) are a bit unsettling.  I will share my plans before I actually leave and of course I will write about the actual events of the trip when I return.  In the meantime……

Have you ever realized that most of my travel plans take shape when I am trying to help a friend but have also been drinking?  Definitely many  hold my beer moments.  If you would like to read or revisit some of my past adventures, please click on the following links:

Texas Trip

Boston Trip

Italy Trip

Wish me luck!

 

 

 

 

 

My Italian Adventure pt 4 Big differences

In my first post about going to Italy, Italy or Bust, I stated that I have always wanted to spend some time experiencing the daily activities of someone living in Italy.  I wanted to see the country from a non tourist perspective.   I feel like I learned a lot while I was there, and I did see many differences, but now I have so many more questions.

First major difference- The language

20190531_155610Ok, I did know that it would be different, but I remembered from my trip 20 years ago,  most people spoke English as well as Italian. As long as you learned some basic phrases you would be ok.

This is SO NOT THE CASE when you are NOT in the tourist areas.  I found the phrases I used the most were Parla Inglese? (Do you speak English? ) and Me dispiace. (I’m sorry)  I probably also should how learned how to say I broke my foot and had surgery or something like that, because everyone tried to ask me about it.  (yay for a picture being worth a thousand words)  After the 100th time I was asked, I just showed the picture.

 

I didn’t feel the need to say that I also broke the screw…..shhhhh

Second difference- The power or electrical connections

In America, to the best of my knowledge our outlets look like this everywhere20190531_155734

you have two different types of connections that you can plug into the same outlet that look like this :

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or this 20190531_155746

But in Europe the outlets or plugs are round, like this:

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Talk about a square peg and a round hole.  (Yay I remembered this from last time and brought this adapter.)

The metric system-

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I grabbed a package of this rice something or other to have for one of the days I was alone. Looking quickly at the pictures told me to boil some water, add the package contents, and cook for 15 minutes… I think….. um…

How much is 600ml of water?!?!?!?!

This would not have been such a problem if I had wifi or turned on my International data plan, but I didn’t …..smh another long story.

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On the subject of food, I am pretty sure you will not find these two in a baby food aisle in America, well at least not a big chain store.

Nor will you find “real” pizza in Italy.

Ok, ok you can find pizza in Italy, just not what most American’s consider Pizza.

I have never ordered pizza while in another European country.  Does it more resemble Italian pizza or American Pizza?

 Let’s talk COFFEE-

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I knew that coffee could be made on the stove, but I have never actually seen anyone do it.    Is this the norm all over Europe?  I feel that most people in the states own a coffee maker or espresso maker that looks more like these…

 

Other Differences in the Kitchen

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It took me a very long time to do dishes the first night, not because they don’t have a dishwasher (I actually prefer to wash them by hand), but because of the limited amount of space that I had to stack and dry them. When I told Daniela this the next morning, she gave me a weird look and said, “well why didn’t you use the strainer?”  How would putting a strainer on top of a strainer area help?!?!?  Then she opened the cabinet to reveal the strainer she was talking about…..

Pretty creative use of space if you ask me

 

There is no bottom to the cabinet, so any water drains back into the sink.  I started to think about the homes I have lived in.  This would not be possible in any of them, because every single one of them has a window over the kitchen sink.  Is that an American thing?  Have you ever seen a system like this?

The size of the glasses amazes me too.  In America, I feel like everything is supersized. The glasses that come in most dinnerware sets hold at least 16 oz.  We carry thermos’s or huge water bottles.  Every home that I was in had glasses no bigger than the palm of my hand out for dinner.

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Pepper, Salt, Sugar and Coffee?

This is the standard pre-labeled set that you will find on most counters.  I don’t think I go through that much salt and pepper in a year.  For me the coffee one would have to be double the size, unless I used it for espresso and had a separate one for coffee.  I don’t need a sugar one, but I think most Americans do.  Not right or wrong, just different I think.

Toilet and Bidet

I have some very interesting bathroom stories from my previous visits to Europe, from having to literally squat over a hole in the ground or a pipe coming out of the ground with no seat to what I believe you find in most homes…the toilet bidet combo.

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This time I had to ask why….. “Why are Europeans so obsessed with using bidet’s?”

The response, ” well you do realize that most European’s do not shower everyday correct? Well this allows us to keep our dirtiest parts clean without needing to waste the water to shower”

Huh…well that’s pretty simple….Duh Grace.  Not only does that reasoning make sense to me, but maybe WE’RE doing it wrong?

The same way I personally feel that we are doing this wrong.

20190531_164555In most rural communities in America at least once a week, you see these cans sitting on the curb, well at least the big one.   GARBAGE.  The recycle cans are usually half the size unless you pay more for the duty to save your planet…smh

While at Daniela’s I had 6 different bags to choose from …paper, cardboard, hard plastic, soft plastic, glass and I don’t remember the rest, but I can tell you the actual garbage can was the smallest.  20190527_145925

Marble, Stone, and Concrete

They certainly don’t build things the way they used to.  (At least in America)

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With all the “cookie-cutter” type houses going up, heck now the itty bitty houses whatever they are called…you have to appreciate something that was built to last.  I don’t think even the million dollar homes in the states have marble stair cases, certainly not in a three story house.

 

 

 

 

Automobiles

In America, 95% of our cars are automatic (not stick).  In Italy 95% are stick, not automatic.  I also noticed that there were no “pick up trucks” anywhere.  Because I live in a rural area, they are more common than cars.  I believe most people know at least one person that owns one.  I didn’t see one.  I did see one Chevy and one Ford but I didn’t pay attention to model.  Most cars were toyota, volkswagon, or fiat that I could tell.  And the parking? 

Laundry-

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Not at all an uncommon sight.

And for the rainy or colder days, there is always inside!!!!!

 

NO SCREENS

 

Can someone please tell me one place in America that you don’t need screens on your windows?  I couldn’t imagine not having screens in Illinois.  The entire time I was there, the only unwelcome guest I had was ONE FLY and because he had eaten so much pasta he was very easy to kill…..sorry bad joke…..  I wish I had thought to take a better picture :/

Do you know that smoking kills?

 

Same Brand…which one does a better job of telling you?  Sorry on the SIDE of my American pack it does have a surgeon generals warning: Cigarette smoke contains carbon monoxide.

The entire time I was there, I had a love/hate relationship with the bells on this church.  I did not mind the 12 bell tolls at noon and midnight, I thought it was “cute” that on the 1/2 hour there were two softer chimes.  What I didn’t like was one being so damn close to them, and two the 4 hour ringing of them on Sunday for a first communion.

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I forget that little children have big ears.  Daniela’s son overheard me telling her about about the masses that had turned out, and the horrible sounds of the bells  for HOURS.  He asked Daniela, “Why doesn’t Grace go to church momma?”  Her response was, “Remember, Grace is an American, and the best part about that is that she has the right to make her own choices”.

Did I mention I really learned alot on this trip?

From city to city, or rural areas to city living, or crossing state lines in America you will find many differences in the way things are done if you pay attention.  The things I mention in this post are things I have not seen anywhere in America….. yet…..

Have you traveled to another country?  What were your struggles?  Did you learn anything that you could be doing better?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Italian Adventure part 2

As soon as the door to the plane closed, I quickly texted THING ONE to ask her to find a hotel for me, for as few of my travel points as possible, between the airport and the Statue of Liberty.  And then my phone died.

Luckily I was able to charge my phone a little bit on the plane. (yay 20% battery)

When I arrived in NJ, I went in search of my suitcase that HAD made the 11:30 flight that I didn’t.  Customer service advised me that it was already loaded on the next days flight to Milan, but if I really needed them to retrieve it they might be able to assist me within the next 4 hours.  Yeah no.  I made a quick reservation for a hotel and contacted a lyft driver to take me there.  I finally arrived at the hotel around 11:30 pm, where I promptly proceeded to pass out.

The next morning while eating breakfast, I talked myself into and out of going to see the statute a hundred times.  I spent a lot of time reading the Statue of Liberty Website.  I learned that it would be impossible for me to climb so many stairs with a broken foot.  The website stresses that you should allow a full day to visit.  On the other hand,  I realized this was probably going to be the only time in my life that I was here, so I might as well give it a go. 

The hotel agreed to keep my baggage for me and to take me to the airport when I returned.  I used the LYFT app to hire a ride to the Statue.  After all of the walking to get to the ferry, I decided to just see the Statue and the Ellis Island Hospital from the Ferry.  I’m glad I went.

This is probably the best picture that I was able to take of the Statue of Liberty.best pic

It’s certainly a lot larger than I had envisioned.  Here is another picture from behind.

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When the cruise returned to Liberty State Park, I spent some time wondering through the New Jersey Terminal of the Central railroad, before stopping to rest on a rock outside and requesting a Lyft back to my hotel.  As I waited, I kept looking at this “piece of art”, thinking how unusual it was to have something so modern surrounded by all the other ancient historical pieces.

memorial

When I got close enough to read the writing on the wall, this “modern artwork” took my breath away and sent a chill down my spine.

memorial one

 

It’s hard to read the words in the picture, but they say “On the morning of September 11th, 2001, with the skies so clear that the Twin Towers across the river appeared to be within reach, the very essence of what our country stands for – freedom, tolerance and the pursuit of happiness – was attacked. This memorial is dedicated to New Jersey’s 749 innocent loved ones who were violently and senselessly murdered that day at the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and in Shanksville, PA. ”

I remember that day, as I am sure, most American’s do.  Wow, just Wow!

My Lyft arrived shortly after.  The rest of the day went as planned.  I returned to the hotel to pick up my bag.  Then took the airport shuttle to the airport.  I made it through Security without any hassles, and I even managed to figure out how to order food at the airport through a system I have NEVER seen.

self order.jpg

I only stood there waiting for someone to take my order for a few moments before I realized that no “BODY” would be coming.  I placed my order on the little tablet to the right, which emailed me a receipt.  A message popped up saying that I would receive a text when my order was complete.  15 minutes later I did.  I took the food to a self pay machine on the edge of the food court, scanned the receipt, paid for my sandwich, and headed to the gate.  All very impersonal.  I’m still not sure what I think about it, but I did manage to do it myself, so there is that.

I boarded the 6:30 flight without any hassle.  At 8:40 am I arrived in Milan.