Tag: dealing with the death of a loved one

Still, I have no words…can you help?

~ msgracefulnot ~ 10 Comments

I don’t know if you remember my post from January, Holding on when I talked about a young mother, losing her life WAY TOO SOON and not knowing how to comfort those left behind.  Although I know there is no way to FIX This tragedy,  I do believe that it’s important for Brandon to share his grief and to know that he is NOT ALONE.  I have met so many wonderful friends in this blogosphere and I am asking you to listen to and read his story and if you can please let him know that he is NOT ALONE in this.  I have included a link a blog he created last night.  Thank you all in advance

I’ve started writing this post 4 times in 4 different ways. True to form, my crazy brain makes me keep deleting it and starting over. I want to tell the story of my wife and I, i want the whole world to know that I am nothing without her and that I don’t want […]

via Episode 1: Intro to Insanity — CaptainScrublord

Holding on

~ msgracefulnot ~ 42 Comments

On January 18, 2018, I received a phone call from my daughter at 6:30 am.  NO ONE calls me at 6 am unless someone is dying, sadly I do mean this literally, so I REALLY dreaded answering the call.  At the same time, I NEEDED to answer so that I knew she was alive and the one making the phone call.  I answered the phone and heard the sniffles I expected to hear, followed by…..”MOM?”…..I whispered, “yes”…and then I held my breath.  ( silently thinking of everyone I knew and praying the call was not about them)

“Mom, Brandon called me and told me that Sarah was killed in a car accident last night”

“……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..”

I had no words.  Literally no words.  I couldn’t think, I couldn’t speak.  I felt like my insides were being ripped out of me.  and then came …………….

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This last week has been absolute hell, praying that she didn’t suffer while imagining the worst, making phone calls, TRYING unsuccessfully to be consoling to those that are left behind.  I can’t fix this!  I can’t take away their pain or my own.  I would if I could!!!!! I would trade my life for hers in a second if I could.  LOGICALLY, I realize that I can not change what happened, but I do NOT do good with feeling powerless.

How do you comfort parents that will never see their baby girl again?

How do you tell her husband that he HAS to be strong because they have a two year old daughter?

So many unanswered questions…… 😦

So I have to focus on what I CAN DO….

I would like to TALK (write) about Sarah and who she was for a few moments, if you will let me.

Demographically :

Sarah just turned 27 last month.  She was newly married (3 years) to her best friend in the world, (though they had been together for 8, and knew each other from Grade School.) She has an absolutely beautiful 2 year old daughter and very supportive and loving parents.  She LOVED animals, and worked as a Veterinary Tech for the last several years.

On the inside:

She possessed one of the biggest hearts I have ever come to know.  ( You wouldn’t know it, if you didn’t look past her “angry resting bitch face” though).  At 5’1, she knew how to use it!  She was a mini superwoman, trying to save the world. (Humans and animals alike)

Below are some pictures with captions explaining some of the memories I will always cherish.

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Thank you for letting me share with you.  I know that I can’t bring her back, but sharing some memories, helps me “Keep her Alive”, and she will always be in my heart.

For those of you that have dealt with “the untimely death” of someone ( not that there ever is a “good time”), What helped you deal with your grief?  I have heard that talking helps, but I feel like Everything that comes out of my mouth is the wrong thing.

Sarah’s funeral is this Thursday.  Saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t begin to cover it.  Saying I have “no words”…..well I don’t…. How do you help her family begin to heal?