Tag: focus

Why did it take me 4 hours to walk a mile? #ADHD

~ msgracefulnot ~ 5 Comments

This non photo shopped picture is Proof that I should be able to walk a mile in under a 1/2 hour.  So why did it take me 4 hours to actually finish the mile?  Because I’m silly? Because I think too much? Because I have #ADHD? Because I am not focused? Because other things were more important?….. Probably all of those things and more ( oh yeah, I’m sick and have MS, but I think it was more the other things)

I am not going to beat myself up about being non productive because even though my morning didn’t go as planned and I have so much more I have to do today, I realize that I did accomplish a lot and I have had a blast doing it…. I should probably get to the point of why I am writing now huh?

I have said numerous times that I am my own worst enemy, that I am too hard on myself, and that I need to slow the hell down.  I DID!  AND I ENJOYED MYSELF!!!!  This really is a completely pointless post, other than the fact that it’s making me laugh (and cough…DAMN COLD), but If you have a minute, hang out with me, laugh at me, shake your head at me? and keep reading.

Ok so the plan was to walk a mile on the treadmill…. but what happened was…..

my babyI started walking, looked at this picture that sits next to my treadmill and thought, “Holy shit, my baby isn’t my baby anymore”  (She is 20 and has turned into a super strong young woman)  Then I thought, “It’s been a whole day since I told her that I loved her, I should send her this picture and let her know I’m thinking of her and why I am struggling with this whole #emptynest thing”. (because I still see her like that little girl in my head)

I stop the treadmill. (Bonus that I didn’t try to take the pic while it was moving) I take the picture, and lean against the bar to TRY to send the message. (whoops leaned on the increase speed button instead)  And of course, I was still standing on the machine.  I managed to jump off, not sure how, but yah no injuries.  “I should probably sit down for a minute” #MSlegs were getting tired.

While sitting down in front of the damn computer.  (facebook really is a bad distraction)  I read a comment in a blogging group that goes like this:

Jerk guy: “So now that I have a blog and I’m writing my first post… how do I make it profitable?”

Super nice friendly helpful girl: You’ll need more than one post to get accepted into ad and affiliate programs. It takes time to gain a presence on google.

She goes on to explain that it will take time, patience and hard work.  Unfortunately blogging isn’t a get rich quick scheme.  (Which for the record it sounded like he was looking for)

Jerk guy:  “I never said I want to get rich. Read my post again”

super nice friendly helpful girl: “I wasn’t trying to offend, profitable suggests making money”

jerk guy: “there’s a difference between being profitable and thinking you’re going to be rich quick.”

super nice friendly WAY TO PATIENT girl: “Oh haha.  That’s just a saying ‘get rich quick’.  I don’t literally mean rich, although I wouldn’t complain, lol!”

Bitchy, underdog fighter, should probably mind her own business but can’t GRACE typed:

“Wow, dude you really are an asshole! Someone is trying to help you and you have to argue semantics?!?! Yeah go fuck yourself!”… then I deleted before hitting enter.  Started typing again, “Could you even say thank you?!?!?”  then deleted and so on.  Of course I couldn’t let it go at that, but I still have stuff to do, so I sent her a message basically saying I hope karma bites him in the ass, and it was nice of her to try to help the ungrateful piece of ……

I have now made a new friend. I liked her page, (which yah free traffic boost) and was now rested enough to try the treadmill again.

The next thing that “distracted me was the tv turning on (all by itself), and it triggering a new blog post idea….(sesame street and all I ever needed to know I learned in kindergarten) Which hopefully I will actually get around to writing because I think it’s good stuff….smh  I took a video, looked up the poem I am referring to, and got back on the treadmill.

No, I am not going to talk about all the distractions that occurred over the next 3 hours because I need to focus on the present.  (My other daughter will be here in a bit to work on the invitations for her bridal shower with me.  And I have learned, time goes by too damn fast, I want to BE PRESENT and in the moment while she is here.)

Wow instant focus!  I walked the last 3/4 of a mile in 15 minutes, typed off this rant, and should still have time to shower before she gets here.

I hope everyone celebrating the holiday next week has a great one.  Try to turn off your media and be in the NOW.  Time goes way too fast.  Try to be patient when someone is a jerk face. cliche cliche cliche…..

Get your mind right, be present (borrowed)

~ msgracefulnot ~ 4 Comments

Yesterday I posted about slowing down and needing a break.  I thought that technology was supposed to make things easier for us all?!?!?  Well with every good thing there is inevitably bad too right?  For example, the picture above is of a shelf in my office filled with photo albums that I had made for my daughters back when scrapbooking was all the rage. I have another shelf (almost as big) filled with scrapbooking SUPPLIES. You know scissors that cut every shape imaginable, corners, borders, acid free papers, photo safe glue, and boxes of unsorted pictures.

Ok Grace, here goes nothing!  Maybe you should scan the photo albums onto a hard drive and then just give each of the girls a hard drive for Christmas?  Sounds like a plan, until the scanner which is supposed to be wireless decides that it needs to be hardwired to function correctly.  Yep NO WAY is that cord gonna reach.  SON OF A BITCH!…. So I spent the next 3 hours rearranging my office so that the cord would reach.  (Yes I realize that I could use my laptop to do this but then I would have to figure out how to download all the drivers for my 1000 year old scanner, because my laptop doesn’t have a disk drive)  It seemed easier to move the office around.

I also thought about uploading them all to google drive and letting the girls download them on their own but my google drive is full.  How the hell could that be, I don’t even know how to use the damn thing, how could it be full?!?!?  (Another hour spent  investigating that)  Apparently, every picture I have taken with my “Mom you need to have a smart phone, smart phone” was automatically backed up to the cloud. 19736 of them to be exact!!!  Yes even the ones I thought I had deleted 3x because I never wanted to share them with anyone.  I could literally #feelthegreyhairgrowing.

I decided to take a break, grab a cup of coffee, and relax with more technology?!?!?  (Hey no one said I was very smart.)  “Let’s check out if the link you tried to put on twitter worked”…… Oh look a squirrel!  Some how I ended up reading a blog, then another, then another.  (We won’t comment on the amount of time I spent doing this or the fact that I literally spit/dripped/ no full on choked on my coffee while reading a couple of them.)  But the last one I read made me STOP.  I actually read it 2x, not because it was hard to follow, the writer is actually quite humorous, and one of her earlier posts caused the coffee incident.  I had to re read it because it contained a lot of good information that I  needed to think about considering my post from yesterday.  Her post was titled, Get Your Mind Right. Be Present. If you have a minute, check it out by clicking the link.

I’m gonna leave it at that.  No more thinking about tomorrow, or yesterday for the evening.  No more facebook, or instagram, or twitter etc.

 

Update on October Goals

~ msgracefulnot ~ 3 Comments

As I look back on the month of October and where I stand with accomplishing the goals I made for myself I realize I am happy with the results.  To see my October Goals, click here: October Goals.

150I did make it under 150 lbs. Seriously! The scale said 149.8!!!!  I jumped off to get my phone to take a picture but apparently the  phone weighs 100 lbs… (I mean about half a pound.)  GRRRRR!  But YAH ME!  AND I learned many things in the process, so I count that as a win.

As far as learning wordpress, I had intended to watch endless hours of videos and read every article that I could find. ( very unrealistic I know) Instead, I just continued to write and click buttons.  I have learned a bit more about putting in a link, and how to move pictures around with word wrap.  (not perfect still, but again a win)  I have also met so many new people, and found a couple of blogs that I enjoy.  So that’s a double win! 😛  But most of all I am having a blast, and stepping out of my comfort zone.

The final goal I had was working on my cross-stitch.  I thought I would have finished the entire lower left corner that I had outlined in my picture. (HA HA, more than a little unrealistic)  I actually did get a lot done on it though, considering everything else that has been going on.

As I sat looking at the chart deciding where to go next, I realized that there are so many “pieces of the puzzle”, that it didn’t really matter where I started, as long as I started and continued working on it.  I had forgotten that focusing on the pattern helped me to FOCUS on something when my mind was doing it’s “blender thing”.  So I’m gonna count that as a win too.

I think there is some unwritten self sabotaging law out there that says for everything you cross off your to do list, 5 more “to do’s” appear.  I’m am determined not to let myself  be burdened by that. I have a “General Goal” for November, and the rest of my life. Continue moving forward.  Making small goals, and moving forward to accomplish those goals has given me a boost in my otherwise lacking self confidence.  I need to work on Trusting myself and remembering that the only person I am in competition with is myself.  Competition to try new things, and to be a better person than I was yesterday.