Bathroom issues of a new variety…

If you have spent ANY time around me, you know that I have many, many bathroom issues/stories.

I ALWAYS have to know where all the bathrooms are everywhere.

I may not be able to tell you the name of the street we are on, but I can almost guarantee you that I can tell you the names of most of the businesses that have a public restroom AND where it is located.

I’ve made friends in bathrooms.

I’ve been in a couple of fights in bathrooms.

I’ve also broken up fights in bathrooms.

I’ve ….maybe you don’t need to know EVERYTHING I’ve done in the bathroom.

Anyway,  I’d like to tell you about my latest ‘bathroom adventure’ for no reason other than I hope to make you smile, maybe even chuckle a little.

Setting the stage:

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As you may know I am current in a wheelchair.

Because it is hopefully not a permanent situation, I have been lax about buying or building a Ramp to cross the 3 inch drop into my bathroom.

 

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As you can see, the toilet is a long long way from the door.

In the beginning of my “adaptation”, I would park my wheelchair at the door, then use crutches to make it across the floor to the toilet.

That worked fine until the one day, I slipped….

(I’ve fallen and I  can’t get up)

So NOW I have a second wheelchair parked IN the bathroom.

 

 

To recap, I wheel my primary chair to the door.

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I Carefully put on the wheelchair brakes and switch to the 2nd wheelchair, and go from there.  ( Yes there is a story in there too, but I digress)

Simple enough right?

 

Sure……….. until you add more characters to the story.

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The other day, I was playing with my grandsons in the living room, when my body decided it URGENTLY needed to use the facilities.  I quickly wheeled to the bathroom, did the quick wheelchair swap, and made it to the toilet, JUST IN TIME.

As I let out the breath I had been holding I hear 2 sets of pitter patter coming my way.  Oh shit, the boys don’t know how to do steps yet and I know from past experience NOTHING will keep them away from Grandma.

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Danny was the first to navigate around the wheelchair and promptly FACE PLANT onto the floor.  OH the SCREAMING!  Which immediately caused Joey to begin Wailing as well, even though he hadn’t even attempted he step yet.

From where I was sitting, (literally) there did not appear to be any blood, but I couldn’t move to be sure.  I needed to coax them both into coming in further.

Travel size Kleenex packages to the rescue!  I quickly tore open an 8 pack that lives in a box next to my “throne”, and began crinkling the packages.  Thankfully THAT, and a drawer full of pads did it!

While I was examining Danny’s face for injury, he decided that he also wanted to be on the throne, as did his brother.

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Quite the family affair, don’t you think?

As we all SAT there, I was so grateful that my bathroom was one of the first rooms I baby-proofed. Although it wasn’t the most thorough cleaning ever, I was able to swifer the bathroom floor before the boys came.

I feel like I should put in a disclaimer here that unlike my story So I did a thing, where I glued myself to the bathroom floor, no one was actually injured during the making of this story.  SMH

Thank you for taking the time to stop by today.  Hopefully I made you chuckle a bit, or at the very least smile.

 

Laughter is the BEST Medicine

Yesterday I let pain and confusion cloud and take over my judgment and mood.  I was so focused on what I couldn’t do that I forgot to use all the powerful tools I have at my disposal…..the biggest of which is the ability to laugh at myself.

I want to share some things with you that I hope will make you laugh, smile, or at the very least shake your head.

I wrote before about all the prep work you should do before surgery,  While I was getting groceries …….. a woman walked up to me and said, “Excuse me ma’am. I hate to tell you this, but your boots don’t match.” your boots dont match.jpg She was right.  I have no fashion sense.  It made me laugh.  Thank you random friendly stranger.  🙂

I was also racing around to make sure my house was clean, nothing to impede my movements in a wheelchair, etc.  I lost my balance, tripped, or something and came down hard ON MY GOOD leg….smh

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When I was trying to pull myself up (very difficult with the stupid boot on) I again lost my balance and hit my eye on the counter giving myself a black eye.  I swear you can’t make this shit up!!!!  I can only imagine what I looked like when I walked into the surgery center.

 

 

After surgery, when my dad was telling me what the doctor said and did, he told me and I quote, “So the doctor took off your big toe, reamed holes in your foot and then your toe, they put in a stud and then screwed your big toe back on”.  I was horrified, but I believed him. That is SO NOT what they did!!!!!  The sad thing is, when I was explaining to a couple of friends what the surgery was for, I told them exactly what my dad had said.  If they were laughing at me they didn’t let it show…..SMH….. I hope my father remembers he will be having his other shoulder replaced next year and karma is a bitch! 😛

plateBefore I continue, I THINK this is what they DID do to my foot.  Again, I won’t really know for sure until I follow up on Thursday.  I will try to take a picture also, but I have a tendency to pass out or get sick when I see or feel pain.

Ok so now let’s talk about hindsight being 20/20.  Before surgery, I wrote about “practicing” for recovery.  I went through my entire house with the wheelchair making sure it fight everywhere I would need to go.  I FORGOT that I would have a leg support on the right side of the wheelchair which adds almost 3 feet to your turning radius.  DOH!

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This has come in handy though for getting my dogs to move out of the way.  Poor things haven’t left my side since surgery.

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20180908_122505There was also this ONE time, I forgot the catheter bag was hanging under the wheelchair when I was trying to transfer back to my bed.  I only forgot ONE time, and I don’t know if I will ever find it funny, but I don’t mind if you do.

 

I’d like to share a couple more pictures, but first I need to thank everyone for all your thoughts, well wishes, moral support and encouragement, and a special thanks to my dear friend Jeri for the 4 containers of ice cream you delivered!!!!!!!

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This picture is from this morning, and although, it looks kind of gross, the swelling has gone down tremendously from the first couple days, and I do have faith that there are better days ahead.  BABY STEPS!!! literally with my GIANT boot.

Chris and Tom commented earlier about signing my cast.  I am not that technologically oriented to figure out how, but if you can feel free…. It’s a great reminder that I am not alone 🙂

My best friend Gary virtually signed my cast from my wrist surgery a couple years ago.

tiggerifficI hope you all have a great weekend!!!!!!

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