Tag: slow down

Why did it take me 4 hours to walk a mile? #ADHD

~ msgracefulnot ~ 5 Comments

This non photo shopped picture is Proof that I should be able to walk a mile in under a 1/2 hour.  So why did it take me 4 hours to actually finish the mile?  Because I’m silly? Because I think too much? Because I have #ADHD? Because I am not focused? Because other things were more important?….. Probably all of those things and more ( oh yeah, I’m sick and have MS, but I think it was more the other things)

I am not going to beat myself up about being non productive because even though my morning didn’t go as planned and I have so much more I have to do today, I realize that I did accomplish a lot and I have had a blast doing it…. I should probably get to the point of why I am writing now huh?

I have said numerous times that I am my own worst enemy, that I am too hard on myself, and that I need to slow the hell down.  I DID!  AND I ENJOYED MYSELF!!!!  This really is a completely pointless post, other than the fact that it’s making me laugh (and cough…DAMN COLD), but If you have a minute, hang out with me, laugh at me, shake your head at me? and keep reading.

Ok so the plan was to walk a mile on the treadmill…. but what happened was…..

my babyI started walking, looked at this picture that sits next to my treadmill and thought, “Holy shit, my baby isn’t my baby anymore”  (She is 20 and has turned into a super strong young woman)  Then I thought, “It’s been a whole day since I told her that I loved her, I should send her this picture and let her know I’m thinking of her and why I am struggling with this whole #emptynest thing”. (because I still see her like that little girl in my head)

I stop the treadmill. (Bonus that I didn’t try to take the pic while it was moving) I take the picture, and lean against the bar to TRY to send the message. (whoops leaned on the increase speed button instead)  And of course, I was still standing on the machine.  I managed to jump off, not sure how, but yah no injuries.  “I should probably sit down for a minute” #MSlegs were getting tired.

While sitting down in front of the damn computer.  (facebook really is a bad distraction)  I read a comment in a blogging group that goes like this:

Jerk guy: “So now that I have a blog and I’m writing my first post… how do I make it profitable?”

Super nice friendly helpful girl: You’ll need more than one post to get accepted into ad and affiliate programs. It takes time to gain a presence on google.

She goes on to explain that it will take time, patience and hard work.  Unfortunately blogging isn’t a get rich quick scheme.  (Which for the record it sounded like he was looking for)

Jerk guy:  “I never said I want to get rich. Read my post again”

super nice friendly helpful girl: “I wasn’t trying to offend, profitable suggests making money”

jerk guy: “there’s a difference between being profitable and thinking you’re going to be rich quick.”

super nice friendly WAY TO PATIENT girl: “Oh haha.  That’s just a saying ‘get rich quick’.  I don’t literally mean rich, although I wouldn’t complain, lol!”

Bitchy, underdog fighter, should probably mind her own business but can’t GRACE typed:

“Wow, dude you really are an asshole! Someone is trying to help you and you have to argue semantics?!?! Yeah go fuck yourself!”… then I deleted before hitting enter.  Started typing again, “Could you even say thank you?!?!?”  then deleted and so on.  Of course I couldn’t let it go at that, but I still have stuff to do, so I sent her a message basically saying I hope karma bites him in the ass, and it was nice of her to try to help the ungrateful piece of ……

I have now made a new friend. I liked her page, (which yah free traffic boost) and was now rested enough to try the treadmill again.

The next thing that “distracted me was the tv turning on (all by itself), and it triggering a new blog post idea….(sesame street and all I ever needed to know I learned in kindergarten) Which hopefully I will actually get around to writing because I think it’s good stuff….smh  I took a video, looked up the poem I am referring to, and got back on the treadmill.

No, I am not going to talk about all the distractions that occurred over the next 3 hours because I need to focus on the present.  (My other daughter will be here in a bit to work on the invitations for her bridal shower with me.  And I have learned, time goes by too damn fast, I want to BE PRESENT and in the moment while she is here.)

Wow instant focus!  I walked the last 3/4 of a mile in 15 minutes, typed off this rant, and should still have time to shower before she gets here.

I hope everyone celebrating the holiday next week has a great one.  Try to turn off your media and be in the NOW.  Time goes way too fast.  Try to be patient when someone is a jerk face. cliche cliche cliche…..

Life is not a race to the finish line

~ msgracefulnot ~ 12 Comments

The ever evolving, “Where are you going with your blog? or “What do you want to do with your blog question?”…Guess what! I still don’t know……….lol.
Everytime, I think I have an answer it evolves. For each question I answer, I come up with 20 more, which sends me back to the drawing board.
A couple of weeks ago I CRASHED HARD, literally to the point of tears. After all the tears were dried up, and I walked away for a couple days I let the things that I have learned sink in. I wasn’t crying about the blog. I was crying because I let myself get overwhelmed with trying to do too many things, both on the internet and with my friends and family.

Welcome to my Blender of a Brain

I had this fantastic idea to start a blog.  I’m pretty good at finding the positive in even the worst situation, maybe I can help other people do the same.  Or maybe I can write about the “taboo” topics of MS, the shit no one wants to share with “normal people”.  Yes that would help because then people will know that they aren’t alone!  I was also toying with a new (to me) thought…. Do you ever realize how all the commercials on TV are from drug companies?  (Some of those side effects seem worse than the symptoms you are experiencing)  Pretty scary!  Then the conspiracy theorist in me comes out…. “What if its actually the drugs that are making you sick, or keeping you sick?”  Let’s test this out.  But where to begin?!?!  Yes that ONE question turned into 20 more also.  Ah ha!  That’s what I will write about.  My true life journey of getting healthier…..heh.  DUMB ASS!!! ( me not you)

I wish I could tell you that I had this great epiphany that I should slow down, but I didn’t.  My body told me.  The tears were a warning sign that I was getting overwhelmed.  The not sleeping at night was another.  But the knock me flat on my ass cold, flu, sickness thing that hit me was the real WAKE UP CALL. ( I am the most fidgety,  can’t sit still, am hardly ever home person you might know.)  The fact that I didn’t get out of bed for two days or leave my house for a week was my body protecting itself and saying….

What I really need to do is slow the hell down.  While it’s good to have goals, it is NOT good to flip your whole life upside down overnight to accomplish them.  My ultimate goal in life is to be better a better ME than I was before.  I am always telling people to slow down and just take a deep breath. So why don’t I listen to myself?!?!

I am also ALWAYS saying, “Focus on the positive”.  So here goes.  I’ve learned a lot over the last couple months.  I’ve met some great people, and made some new friends.  I stepped out of my comfort zone several times, and somehow even managed to lose weight.  I accomplished the monthly goals I made for myself each month, and now I am just focusing on getting through the next day.  One day at a time!

To all of you reading this, this isn’t goodbye.  (I paid for a whole year of wordpress :P)  and I still have lots to learn.  I just needed to “unload” and wanted to say Thank you for spending your time with me.