“Renaming my children”

Will someone “name” my children for me?

I have a story that I want to share sooooo badly, but it involves my children.  I don’t use MY real name when I write, and I believe I should show them the same respect so as to not cause them a further need for counseling.  JOKING!!! Kind of….

Anyway I can’t use their initials because: ONE that would be too obvious and TWO their initials are basically the same.  Hell even a third reason… because after my oldest daughter gets married next year their initials WILL be the same.  Well until my youngest daughter sprints off somewhere to get married in the middle of the night on any random day.  ( I HOPE she doesn’t do that, but she does do her own thing on her own terms, so you really never know what to expect)

Ok so initials are out.

“Oldest daughter” and “youngest daughter” are just too many letters to type, and let’s face it, kind of boring too.  Daughter One and Daughter two?…the same thing, with the additional problem of, “Why is she daughter one? Do you love her more? She always gets everything first…..It’s not fair!” blah blah blah.  WELCOME TO BEING A PARENT OF DAUGHTERS!…  If you are “new to my life” my kids are in their 20’s… just an Fyi… but I digress

“Kiddo” doesn’t work when a story involves both of them, and it’s really not personal since at one point or another I call everyone under thirty “kiddo”.

THIS from a person that hates labels?!?!?  Hating labels is the reason I can’t use adjectives to “name” them.  Well the main reason at least.  Both of my children have very strong personalities, but labels don’t really fit them.  My oldest daughter is a bit more focused than my younger daughter about things in general, but I think that is simply because she is older.  My youngest daughter is like a dog with a bone WHEN she chooses to focus.

So now I am back to square one.  What the hell do I “name” my children?

Maybe I let them name themselves?  Both of them at one point or another have told me how much they hated their names, or the way I spelled them.  (of course NOW, 20 YEARS LATER…. they have finally adjusted to them and I can go so far as to say they may even like them)

I did briefly think about just using their real names, but then the paranoia of “OMG you are leading some crazy nutjob pyschopath right to your, or their door kicks in” so that is not an option.  While I TRY to use a filter when I talk, I inevitably end up offending someone for some reason and I never want my kids to have to deal with that.  It’s MY LIFE that I am putting out there for the world to see, not theirs.  So now I am seriously asking for advice.  WHAT DO I NAME MY CHILDREN?


  1. I too learned better than to name them or post pictures earlier this year! 😣 Who’d have thought…certainly not me. Lesson hard learned. Anyway, I have two girls so I used to call them Kid and The Baby. Or my oldest/my youngest. But settled on their nicknames which are Gigi and J.J.! Which are both far enough evolved from their real names as it is 🙌

    Liked by 1 person

  2. the oldest and the youngest? Number one and number two? Do they have nicknames? I call my 4 my oldest daughter, my oldest son, my youngest son and my youngest daughter. It’s a pain but I haven’t found another way


  3. What about Kim, Khloe, Kylie and…umm, is there another one? Unless you are the Kardashians?…are you? My suggestion might blow your cover if you are. Okay, I have lost focus. Am I communicating with mama Jenner, or whatever the fuck her name is? Oh boy, must stop now. I am not helping and think I need to go back to bed. I love the way you think, by the way – you are super fun!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. lol no my cover is safe…. I think I am going to go with thing 1 and thing 2 at least for the story I want to tell….although enstein suggested creation1 and creation 2…or MAYBE it will be a “here hold my beer” decision. I do appreciate your help 😛 You are funny as hell… oh and just so you know I didn’t read that it was an applicator either, 3 tries, and I gave up 😛

      Liked by 1 person

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