Those of you that have ever talked to me on the phone, in person, gotten a text message from me etc, know that I have a “potty mouth”.. Not only do I frequently talk about “potty” and my bag of pee, but I just can’t seem to utter more than a few sentences without a cuss word or two popping out. Popping, not pooping, although I do talk about pooping or not being able to alot also.
Last month, or the month before, I had to do a warranty trade on my smartphone, which in my opinion is Not very smart, although some would claim operator error. 😦
I have always struggled with the talk and type technology, because I speak quickly and do not enunciate. This was proven when I asked my kids to “fix the damn phone” and they politely explained that I don’t enunciate when I speak. To prove them wrong, I turned on the talk and type and said “ENUNCIATE”, the phone responded by typing E9C8!
So now I have this ‘New’ smartphone AND I am cutting down on the number of cigarettes I smoke each day, in effort to quit on August 15, 2018, so needless to say I have been swearing a bit more lately.
After talking out a message that contained some “cuss words”, I forgot to turn off the talk and type feature on my phone before I said,
“It’s not duck, the word is fuck. I really don’t understand your objection to ass, and on that note what the hell is wrong with shit or even hell? It’s not like I used all the words in one sentence”
My phone typed….
” It’s not duck, the word is duck. I really don’t understand your objection to ASK, and on that note what the he’ll is wrong with fit or even ****?
Immediately after reading that I said, “Bastard”, which for the record translated into “Last Turd”.
So I have decided to teach my phone to swear. I have been correcting THEN saving each of the words that it misspells or ***** out. So far I have added
piece of shit
I cant say the C word, but it would probably come out as CANT anyway.
This morning I said, “I am coffeeing” which I know is technically not a word (its a way of life). The phone typed doddering…which I left because I probably was.
Can you think of anything that I am missing? When the day comes that I am finally ready to tell that ONE person that got on my last nerve off, I want to be prepared.