Everything is ok, …..but

Have you ever gotten THAT call?

“Everything is ok…… but”

Even though, I don’t like receiving THAT call, it think it works much better for me than, “Ive got some bad news, or “Do you want the good news or the bad news first?”  Before the person delivering the question has a chance to finish their words, my brain has already begun to imagine the worst….. PLEASE just get to the point.  NOW!!!!!

Today I am going to start with the good news….Thing One and the babies are ok, everyone is ok.  In fact there really isn’t any BAD news, scary news when I received it, but all is well.

So the story,

I’m at a friends house trying to help her deal with some bad news that she has recently received, when my phone rings.  Caller id reveals that it is Thing One’s husband Z.  Since she is pregnant and way to early to go into labor, my first thought was oh fuck, and before I even answered the phone, I grabbed my purse and started making my way towards my car.

Z “Have you talked to thing one yet?”

Grace: “No what’s going on?”

Z: “No one is bleeding or dying or anything, but the doctor has sent her to the hospital and I’m on my way now”

Grace:  “This hospital?”

Z:  “Yes, I will call you when I find her”

I think I said goodbye to my friend.  I tried to obey most of the traffic laws, and headed to the hospital.  While speeding, driving there, I realized I had better call Einstein.  But what do I say?  Should I call now or after I have seen THING ONE?  I know that because he is at work, he won’t actually answer his phone unless I call multiple times, and even then maybe not…. so maybe I should wait?!?!?  But what if what I find there is really bad, he should be there, maybe I NEED him to be there?!?!?

I called 3x, and then left a message, repeating my phone call with Z and telling Einstein that I would call or text as soon as I had seen Thing One.

Let me say again that everything is and was okay.  Without going into too much detail, the doctor has now placed Thing One on Bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy, but both her and both babies are doing fine.

Now that all the panic has passed, I wonder if I handled it the best way.  I am grateful that Z knows me enough that the way he told me was the best.  He knew I would assume the worst, but would also want to be there immediately.  But that’s me.

How about you?  Have you ever had to be the bearer of bad news?  I know no one likes to receive bad news, but do you ask for the good or bad first?  Does it depend on the circumstance?  What are your thoughts?

16 thoughts on “Everything is ok, …..but

  1. I don’t ask. I just listen and hope it’s not as bad as it seemed to me.
    The worst thing ever is when u have to call your mom to break the news.
    Me: Mom, there’s some bad news. I’m at the hospital, neurologal dept. They’re running tests. They’re not sure what’s wrong yet…
    Mom: Oh my god….oh…

    (SOOO happy she and the babies are ok. Breathe now)

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes calling your mom is hard. When I told my mom that I had MS, she literally collapsed on the floor trying to hold me, saying “OMG I’m not ready to lose you yet”…then of course I started crying and so on and so on

      Liked by 3 people

  2. When my father in law died suddenly of a heart attack 20 years ago, we were living in Indiana at the time. I had to call all his relatives and K’s relatives, in Connecticut in addition to my parents, to give them the news. It was definitely a bad news no good news situation, and definitely sucked

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes definitely not a good news bad news thing, in that situation it would more be a out of my mouth as quick as I could say it with very little information and wait for them to breath and ask questions. I’m not saying that its the right, way, but I think that’s how I have handled sudden death 😦

      Liked by 2 people

    1. ty wendi! I think the mantra in my head is that laughing is better than crying…again It would have been a completely different story had everything not been ok. For now, I’m trying to figure out how to “ground” a 27 year old

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I often find myself in that role. I’ve always been the guy to say what others won’t. It’s easy for me, I hate for someone to not know the truth. It’s a burden for sure but a valuable role and it comes with character

    Liked by 1 person

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