Balls of steel or no ‘common sense’?

~ msgracefulnot ~ 19 Comments

Maybe you can help me to decide?  My roommate came home the other night and told me a story that in addition to causing me to laugh my ass off, also caused me to wonder if she has balls of steel, or is just lacking common sense.  I would like to share the story with you, and hear your opinion.

It was about 10 pm on Friday.  My roommate had just gotten home from dinner with her friend, and I was eager to show her the scrapbooks that I had been making to occupy my time.  I ‘rolled’ into the kitchen and saw what I knew all to well to be a speeding ticket.

what the hell
Words came out of her mouth that I honestly believe she’s never uttered.

I thought to myself, “Maybe NOW is not the time to say anything”.

As I turned the chair around heading back to my side of the house, that little devil in me popped out and loudly stated, ” I know what this is, was someone a bad girl tonight?”

With in minutes I saw a new side of my normally soft spoken, laid back, go with the flow roommate.

 

When I heard the words, “I have NEVER gotten a ticket in my life”, I burst out laughing.   It was inappropriate I know, but considering the fact that I have gotten almost 2 speeding tickets a year since I started driving, maybe I was in shock? I didn’t think it was possible to have NEVER gotten a ticket.

When I stopped laughing I said, “Hey it’s no big deal.  Just pay the ticket and an extra $40.00 to take a class.  They will put you on supervision and it won’t go on your record”.

I don’t think she even heard me.  She continued ranting about the incompetence of the officer.

“Whoa whoa, slow down, hold on a minute. Start at the beginning”, I said.  (I was having an incredibly hard time NOT bursting into laughter again.)

I’m going to attempt to repeat the conversation as she told me.  I apologize in advance for the poor grammar and punctuation.

She said,

I was on blank and blank road on my way home, when this cop comes out of nowhere and turns his lights and sirens on.  I pull over to the side of the road and wait for FOREVER until he comes up to the car.  The first thing he asked me is where I was going.  That’s none of his business and I told him so!  Then he asked me where I was coming from.  I told him that was also none of his business.  I asked him, “What do you want and why all these personal questions?  Would you like it if I asked YOU all these questions?!?!  He didn’t answer MY question, but instead said, “Do you know you were speeding”?  I replied, “How do you know I was speeding?  I would like to see your gun thing.”  (radar gun) HE TOLD ME I COULDN’T!!!  I asked him how fast he thought I was going.  HE said 65 in a 45.  That’s just ridiculous I told him, and where is the speed limit sign anyway, I asked.  He said it was posted before the last stop sign.

She continued to argue with him about the placement of the sign.  He asked her for her driver’s license and went back to his car.  When he came back, she blasted him again.

She told him that both her father and her brother were cops for over (I don’t remember how many years) and in addition to asking for her driver’s license he was supposed to ask for her insurance and registration cards.  He again asked her where she was coming from.  After telling him that he had already asked her that, she picked up her carryout box, shook it at him, and said “I already told you, I am coming home from dinner with a friend.”  She advised him that she doesn’t drink, but that he could give her a breathalyzer if he actually knew how to do that.

He took her cards and went back to his car.  When he returned, he handed her the cards and a speeding ticket.  He told her that the fine in Illinois for all tickets was $165.00 and walked away.

I am sure there are parts of the story that I have forgotten.  I am honestly still shaking my head.  I told her that she should have an envelope with information about paying the ticket and applying for court supervision.  This launched her into another rant.  “He didn’t give me anything, but this stupid ticket, and a lot of attitude.  I have never been treated so rudely and I told him so”!

As I am laughing again, I am going to end the story there.  Does she not realize he could have taken her in, at least overnight, for so many reasons?  Does she not know that all of conversations are recorded?  So many questions, but most importantly…does she have BALLS of STEEL, or is she lacking common sense in this department?

 

 

 

 

 

Bathroom issues of a new variety…

~ msgracefulnot ~ 13 Comments

If you have spent ANY time around me, you know that I have many, many bathroom issues/stories.

I ALWAYS have to know where all the bathrooms are everywhere.

I may not be able to tell you the name of the street we are on, but I can almost guarantee you that I can tell you the names of most of the businesses that have a public restroom AND where it is located.

I’ve made friends in bathrooms.

I’ve been in a couple of fights in bathrooms.

I’ve also broken up fights in bathrooms.

I’ve ….maybe you don’t need to know EVERYTHING I’ve done in the bathroom.

Anyway,  I’d like to tell you about my latest ‘bathroom adventure’ for no reason other than I hope to make you smile, maybe even chuckle a little.

Setting the stage:

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As you may know I am current in a wheelchair.

Because it is hopefully not a permanent situation, I have been lax about buying or building a Ramp to cross the 3 inch drop into my bathroom.

 

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As you can see, the toilet is a long long way from the door.

In the beginning of my “adaptation”, I would park my wheelchair at the door, then use crutches to make it across the floor to the toilet.

That worked fine until the one day, I slipped….

(I’ve fallen and I  can’t get up)

So NOW I have a second wheelchair parked IN the bathroom.

 

 

To recap, I wheel my primary chair to the door.

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I Carefully put on the wheelchair brakes and switch to the 2nd wheelchair, and go from there.  ( Yes there is a story in there too, but I digress)

Simple enough right?

 

Sure……….. until you add more characters to the story.

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The other day, I was playing with my grandsons in the living room, when my body decided it URGENTLY needed to use the facilities.  I quickly wheeled to the bathroom, did the quick wheelchair swap, and made it to the toilet, JUST IN TIME.

As I let out the breath I had been holding I hear 2 sets of pitter patter coming my way.  Oh shit, the boys don’t know how to do steps yet and I know from past experience NOTHING will keep them away from Grandma.

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Danny was the first to navigate around the wheelchair and promptly FACE PLANT onto the floor.  OH the SCREAMING!  Which immediately caused Joey to begin Wailing as well, even though he hadn’t even attempted he step yet.

From where I was sitting, (literally) there did not appear to be any blood, but I couldn’t move to be sure.  I needed to coax them both into coming in further.

Travel size Kleenex packages to the rescue!  I quickly tore open an 8 pack that lives in a box next to my “throne”, and began crinkling the packages.  Thankfully THAT, and a drawer full of pads did it!

While I was examining Danny’s face for injury, he decided that he also wanted to be on the throne, as did his brother.

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Quite the family affair, don’t you think?

As we all SAT there, I was so grateful that my bathroom was one of the first rooms I baby-proofed. Although it wasn’t the most thorough cleaning ever, I was able to swifer the bathroom floor before the boys came.

I feel like I should put in a disclaimer here that unlike my story So I did a thing, where I glued myself to the bathroom floor, no one was actually injured during the making of this story.  SMH

Thank you for taking the time to stop by today.  Hopefully I made you chuckle a bit, or at the very least smile.

 

Are you ready to live?

~ msgracefulnot ~ 26 Comments

A couple of weeks ago, I shared some admittedly pretty scary information with you in my post, “Are you prepared to Die“?

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking, reading, and otherwise researching what my next steps should be.  While doing this, I have created two more quandaries for myself.  The first being not knowing who or what to believe.  People that claim to be specialists tout one thing, while other people claiming to be specialists tout the exact opposite.  You also have your everyday ‘average people’, also equally divided, demanding with as much fervor as two rivals debating politics that they have the answer.  (They must, they live with it everyday)?????  I find that I am overwhelmed not only with all the information available, but also by verifying the ‘credentials’ of the sources.

I’m going to table this quandary for now because I honestly feel like I am playing Russian Roulette.

The other decision that is plaguing me is, “Am I prepared to live?”    You’re probably thinking, “OF COURSE YOU ARE!!!”  At first it seems like a no-brainer doesn’t it?  Well duh, of course you want to live!!!  But is it really that simple?

Let’s say your doctor tells you that in order to live you have to murder, and eat someone once a week.  Apparently, the nutrients in another human would allow you to not only be disease free for a week, but they would return you to a more ‘youthful’ state with unlimited energy etc.  While some people may feel that this would be acceptable to them, for me it’s a deal breaker.  I would probably go so far as to purposely end my life to prevent some well meaning person from TRYING to save me.

I know that my example sounds extreme, but as a “professional addict” I assure you it’s not.  Do you know that smoking can kill you?  I still smoke.  Being overweight can also kill you, yet I won’t turn down cheesecake. etc etc…In addition to taking away those vices, you should change the things you eat.  Yes take away the things you enjoy, and ADD eating dirt (the food you most abhor) or  only being allowed to eat something that someone else has chewed up and spit out.

I am purposefully being facetious because what one person finds an acceptable another would NEVER do,  and I’m trying to make a point.  DECIDING TO LIVE takes a lot of work.  It requires many changes and some sacrifices. while at the same time knowing that you are going to die at some point anyway.  Up the ante by adding the FACT that there is no guarantee these changes will help, they may even make you sicker.

But it worked for my neighbor’s sister’s third cousin once removed’s dog?!?!?!? 

All sarcasm aside, I am beginning to accept the fact that in order to continue living, I have to make some serious changes in my life.  None of them are appealing to me, but I find I’m not quite ready to die.  I’m not prepared to swear to a course of action yet, but I have begun making changes. I reduced the number of cigarettes I smoke from more than a pack a day to 2 cigarettes a day.  I have been tracking everything that goes into and out of my body. ( I promised no more sarcasm today so I will just leave that one alone for now)  I have been investigating 4 MS drugs that I have been introduced since I began TYSABRI.  To be honest, the side effects of all of them are scary as hell so discontinuing any disease modifying treatment is also on the table.

It’s very dangerous for me to “get all lost in my mind”, so if you are willing please take a minute to share something you have struggled with or are struggling with and how you are working to overcome it.  It helps so much to know that we are not alone.

Are you prepared to die?

~ msgracefulnot ~ 23 Comments

Before I continue, let me assure you that this is NOT a suicide note, nor is it a notice of my impending death.  This is a question I’ve asked and answered myself many times in my life.

If you’re not dying, why do you bring this up now?

I just received some unsettling blood tests, and I have some choices that I have to make.  When I receive bad news, in order to not “freak out”, I look back at all the things I have survived in my life to remind myself that I can be pretty damn tough.

As many of you know, I was diagnosed with MS over 20 years ago.  What you may or may not know is that I have had 3 family members die from complications of MS.  This disease has been “in my face” for many years before it actually caught me.  When I was diagnosed, I asked myself if I was ready to die, not if I was prepared, but if I was ready.  The answer was, “HELL NO!”  For the first year though, I didn’t do much to FIGHT it.  Instead, I began drinking ALOT.  I also started behaving very manically, (well if I’m going to die anyway, I’m going out with a bang)

About a year after my “MSaversary”,  I finally stopping running and faced the diagnosis. I began taking the disease modifying drug Betaseron.  For 10 years, I gave myself an injection every other night, yet my MS symptoms continued to steadily progress to the point that I was in a wheelchair more often than not.  I was constantly depressed.  During this time, my kidneys began shutting down, AND I was diagnosed with cervical cancer.  Around the 10 year mark, I think I WAS ready to die.  Not prepared, but ready.

At then end of 2009, my girls and I made the very long hard decision that I was going to begin receiving monthly infusions of Tysabri even though it could kill me.  I decided that QUALITY of life meant so much more to me than QUANTITY!  I have previously written about how the decision was made in a Five part series if you would like to read.  The decision to start Tysabri Part 1,  The decision to start Tysabri part 2, The decision to start Tysabri part 3, The decision to start Tysabri part 4, and finally, The decision to start Tysabri part 5.

To date I have received 121 infusions of Tysabri.  I credit this drug for giving me my quality of life back.  I do not regret my decision in anyway, in fact I have even argued with my doctor about NOT switching medications when he suggested that I consider it. Last year, I wrote “Who’s the boss anyway”? explaining my reason for denying the change.

At the end of last year, I had to see my neurologist so he could perform my yearly neurological exam, refill my prescriptions, and send me for the required JC virus test to be allowed to remain on Tysabri.  My son in law was nice enough to drive me to Chicago for the visit.  Because of my newest list of injuries, the doctor was unable to provide a complete exam.  The parts of the exam he was able to perform showed that I had increased numbness (lack of feeling) on the left side of my body.  I have also been having some issues with my vision (though I have been attributing that to my age).  He wrote the refills for my prescriptions, and the order for the bloodwork, and we agreed I would come back for a full exam once my foot healed enough to be able to walk on it.  (hopefully March)

NOW let’s talk about these unsettling blood tests….

My bloodwork came back stating that I was now JC+, meaning I had the John Cunningham Virus (JCV).  Not only did I test positive for the virus, but my titer levels are considered very high. 4.8!

hmmmm now what?  I have a decision (well several to make)

Here are the drug facts

In addition to revealing that I have now become JC+, my bloodwork revealed that my Absolute Eosinophils are high.  What the hell does that mean?  A quick Dr. Google search said…

Eosinophils are a type of disease-fighting white blood cell. This condition most often indicates a parasitic infection, an allergic reaction or cancer. You can have high levels of eosinophils in your blood (blood eosinophilia) or in tissues at the site of an infection or inflammation (tissue eosinophilia).

OF course the first thing I saw was CANCER……cmon!!!!!!!  Seriously?!?!?

After speaking with my Neurologist, WE have decided first to have the bloodwork performed again.  (there is always a chance for a false positive?)  Because of the decreased sensation on one side of my body, the increased balance issues, and vision changes, IF the test still comes back with a high Titer level, the first step will be to undergo further testing for PML.  I haven’t even thought about further testing for the High Eosinophils, I honestly believe that everything else going on in my body is causing that.

I have so many questions and decisions to make that I find myself asking again, “Am I prepared to die?”