I do all my own stunts, though not intentionally

~ msgracefulnot ~ 22 Comments

I would tell you to grab a bowl of popcorn before reading my latest drama, but if you are anything like me, you would choke on it from laughing too much.   I would suggest kleenex if you’re the sympathetic type, but to be honest I have done enough crying for all of us in the past few days.  Instead, I ask that you find humor in my latest  WTF story. If you’re willing to, please share one of your wtf’s with me.  I could really use a laugh.

I mentioned briefly in my last post, It’s certainly been a minute huh?, that I had been taking more of the caretaker role lately and that although I had had a couple more falls, they really hadn’t been anything out of the norm.  For some reason my brain translated this information into, “You should go big or go home Grace”, or “let’s really create some damage”.  As it happens, I now have quite the story of my own to tell…..SMH

Where to begin though……….

In the middle!  Let’s jump right in the middle.

So hey guess what…. I’m not pregnant!!!!!  Yay me?

I’m actually kind of sad about that, not because I want anymore children, but because after the lawsuit or news stories, I would be as rich as midas.  Are you confused yet?  So am I.  Maybe this story would be better told with less sarcasm?  Let’s go back to December 4, 2019.

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

I am sitting up on a hospital bed answering the 1000 pre op questions I have been asked before, like it’s just another day. ( After more than 50 surgeries, it does feel just like any other day).

Nurse: I’m going to need a urine sample, and then we will get your IV started.

Grace:  For a pregnancy test?  No need, I had a hysterectomy over 15 years ago.

Nurse:  Was it a total hysterectomy?  I mean did they remove your ovaries also.

Grace: Um no but……

Nurse:  Then we still need to do the test.  While the chances are like 1 in a million, it can still happen.

As I am thinking, “Have you met me?!?!?!?  I am the queen of being 1 in a million”, it dawns on me that next Friday is Friday the 13th, and I start to feel sick.  Not because I am superstitious, but because I have two children. I found out I was pregnant with both of them on Friday, December 13th.  ( 1990 and 1996)

It really doesn’t matter that multiple nurses blew my veins multiple times trying to start an IV.  (I have a port for that reason)  It doesn’t matter that the anesthesia they were trying to use didn’t knock me out for 15 mins.  (Burned like hell, but wouldn’t put me out)  It doesn’t even matter that although the doctor was able to repair a lot of the damage in my knee, I am still going to need a partial knee replacement…..

At least I wasn’t pregnant.  SMH

Want to take a break and come back in a minute?  Believe it or not, I’m not even halfway done with this WTF story.

I spent the rest of the week in bed with my knee above my head attached to an ice machine.  I was able to walk (slowly) within a couple days and the pain was minimal.  I was even able to drive to Einstein’s within the week.

Friday the 13th came and went.   I am still not pregnant!!!  So life is good right?

HA HA HA HA

Saturday, Friday the 14th

Maybe I am a little superstitious, but not about the 13th.  I have had several bad experiences on Saturday the 14th (any month) that have even included being arrested.  Yes I have been arrested before, but that’s a whole different story, which ironically does have to do with me getting pregnant.  :O  Let’s stick with this Saturday the 14th though.

I am leaving the kitchen at Einstein’s and I kick or trip over the 1 inch lip at the bottom of the dog gate.  Oh Fuck, I know I am going down…. NOT MY KNEE NOT MY KNEE!!!!!!

The good news….. I didn’t land on my knee.

The not so good news ……I can’t get up.

While going to get my wheelchair from the other room, Einstein jokes, “why did you put this away already?”  NOT FUNNY!  I am in so much pain, I start to cry.  I really can’t stand up.  Einstein had to pick me up to put my in the chair.

High Ho, High Ho, off to the doctor we go……. smh

Before scrolling down, care to guess the diagnosis?

1214191421

While waiting for the xrays to come back, I am imagining the worst.  foot-top

Did I fuck up last years surgery on this foot?

(You know the one where they put a plate and screws in my right foot?)

Earlier this year, I fell while holding my grandson and broke the lag bolt while trying not to hurt him…

BREAKER OF TITANIUM….

not quite as cool as Mother of Dragons, but applicable nonetheless.

 

Ready for the verdict?

I broke the 3rd and 4th metatarsals.  (the long bones in the middle of your foot)  I don’t remember the terminology  “the breaks appear to be clean”.  With luck I am in a non weight bearing cast for a couple of months and that is it.  I see the orthopedic doctor on Thursday to see if the swelling has gone down enough for a hard cast and hear his opinion about surgery.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me.  I am truly feeling that if it wasn’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.  But hey at least I’m not pregnant?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s certainly been a minute, huh?

~ msgracefulnot ~ 28 Comments

A minute = a year?

Without cheating and actually looking at the last time I said, “Hello”, to the wordpress world, I would guess it’s been a year, since it certainly feels that way.  Putting all emotions aside though, factually I am sure it hasn’t been a year.  Where has the time gone though?  How have you all been?  I know …. “Check your reader Grace”…pick up the damn phone….”

So where have I been?  I can’t really tell you.  Not in the “if I tell you I have to kill you” sort of way, just that I truly don’t know where the time has gone.  I have done many, many things this year, and have been involved in many “stories”. The thing is, most are not MY stories to tell.  I have been taking more of a caregiver, or assistant role this year.

I’ve tried and failed numerous times to quit smoking.  I’ve gained some weight.  I have had a couple more falls, but nothing out of the “norm”.  I spend as much time as I can with my almost one year old twin grandsons as I can.  Einstein and I are doing well.  My MS has not gotten worse, although the weight gain has not helped my walking ability, or lack thereof.

My heart still aches from the loss of Snuff in June.  In fact, there was a period of time that depression took control of my life.  I slept, I ate, I slept some more….. you get the picture.

I’m still here though.  I hope you are too!

I look forward to seeing everyone again soon!

 

 

 

Happy Birthday to ME

~ msgracefulnot ~ 24 Comments

When you were younger, I am willing to bet that you eagerly awaited your birthday each year.  Hopefully, you had at least a few very memorable ones.  Maybe some cake and ice cream?  Friends and family over?

So why do we stop celebrating them as we get older?  So many people say, “It’s just another day.”  or “It’s no big deal.”

I call bullshit.  Birthdays are the anniversary of your birth.  A milestone that you have SURVIVED another year.  You’ve reached a new level in the ‘game’ called life.

Today I am LEVEL 46 and I am asking you all to celebrate with me.

I don’t have anything BIG planned for this year.  No major parties.  I’m not going on another adventure.  I am just going to be.  I am going to be grateful.

The only reason I can see to STOP celebrating your birthday is MAYBE when you are no longer alive.  Even then I don’t really see the reason.  I still celebrate my friends and family members that have passed birthdays.  For example, every Sept 21, my late Grandmother’s bday, I buy a hamburger and strawberry shake from McDonalds.  I then spend some time reliving some of my fondest memories of our times together.

Did I mention cake?  Who doesn’t like cake?!?!?

So today is my Birthday, at some point I will see my girls.  We are going out for dinner on the 10th to celebrate all the birthdays together. Thing one will be 28 on the 11th. Her and her hubby are going to a concert that evening, AFTER I bring her a cake.  I am staying the night with my grandson’s that evening. Thing two will be 22 on the 12th.  She has to work all day, but I will be waiting at her house when she gets home with Cake also.  Not quite the sugar coma we faced last year during The birthday week, but there has to be cake!

Thank you for joining me today!

 

 

 

What really happened?

~ msgracefulnot ~ 15 Comments

The other day I may or may not have been in an accident.  I honestly can’t say.  Maybe you can tell me?

No have I have not been drinking, doing drugs, or lost my mind in any other way.

You know how there are 3 sides to every story?  His side, her side, and the truth?  This is one of those cases.

I was coming up to a RED light at busy 4 way intersection like the one pictured above.

In Illinois, unless it is posted otherwise, you can make a right turn on red after you have stopped and made sure it was clear.

In this story, I am the orange car and Dude was the green car.  Dude stops, then lets off his brakes to proceed.  I  move forward to get a better view of the traffic coming from the left, see that it’s clear, and step on the gas. Then I SLAM ON MY BRAKES.  Dude is still there, stopped in front of me.  :O

InkedInkedInkedintersection 2_LIMy first thought was HOLY FUCK, that was close!!!

Then, Why isn’t he moving?!?!?

Dude gets out of the car and just glares at me.

I think, Aw Cmon…this can’t be happening.  I didn’t actually Hit him did I?  I even asked him, “Did I actually hit you?  Dude approaches my car yelling, Hell yeah you hit me.  Are you gonna make the next 4 years of payments on my car?!?!?  Then he goes to look at what may or may not be a scratch on his bumper.  He knelt on the ground to get a closer look.

From where I am sitting I don’t see a scratch, but there is No way in hell am I getting out of my car with him yelling at me like that.  When he stood back up and started to approach me again, I said,  “Ok, let’s call the cops, and file an accident report.”  He stopped dead in his tracks.  Then he went to look at my bumper, and back to his.

I said, “Why don’t we pull over and call the police.  If I hit you, then it was my fault.”  (I may be wrong but I believe the law states that in a rear-end collision the party in the 2nd car is at fault.)

When he stood up again, Dudes whole demeanor changed.  He was actually smiling when he said, “Ah naw, we don’t have to do that.  It’s really no big deal. Don’t worry about it.”  “Are you sure?”  “Yeah it’s all good.  You have yourself a nice day.”

He got back into his car and drove away.  As I pulled away from the intersection,I thought what the hell just happened?!?!?  Did I really hit him?  How does someone go from “I’m gonna kill you”  to all smiles in under a minute?

When I got to my destination, I went to look at my front bumper. There is absolutely no damage to my car.  Not even a scratch.  I don’t remember FEELING any impact, but I could still hear the sound of my brakes as I hit them.

While I will never know what really happened, I am curious… Do you have any thoughts or opinions?

 

 

 

 

Leaving your phone in a Lyft driver’s car

~ msgracefulnot ~ 8 Comments

I walked into the hotel room at 12:30 am to drop off my bags and to park the wheelchair.

How do you reach your Lyft driver if you forgot something in their car?

When I walked into the room, “T” was awake, and still fuming about the height of the bed.  I unburied my tablet and asked T to use her phone.  Actually, I don’t think I asked, I think I just said I was taking it.  She  continued to complain about the hotel saying I needed to talk to the manager.  I put my hand up and said,  “we need to be awake at 4:30″, I can’t do this now.  I have to find my phone, or I won’t be going anywhere tomorrow”.

I headed back outside with phone and tablet in hand.  I sent several text messages to my phone hoping the driver might see them on a pop up.  I called Thing One to tell her that I had lost the phone and maybe I needed her to put a hold on it.  (My family each pays her $50.00 a month and we share unlimited everything on her account) I asked her to find a phone number for Lyft to report the loss.

She responded with the following screenshots:

This is all good in theory,   If you know your passwords.  I don’t!  My niece set up the Lyft app on my phone during my Boston trip over a year ago.  Crap ! Crap! Crap!

I filled out the Contact Lyft form using the hotel’s phone number and my email address for which I also don’t know the password.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I suspended myself from most of my accounts trying to guess the passwords.  Those that didn’t suspend me, sent a verification email to my LOST cell phone. SMH!!!!!

Just as I was going to surrender… I remembered that my neighbor works nights…maybe I could call her?   IF only I actually knew her phone number instead of only having it stored in my phone?!?!?!?

Ah but wait a minute…we are friends on Facebook..and that is the one password I remember.  I sent her a message on Facebook messenger asking for her phone number and then called her from “T’s” phone.  It’s probably a sad thing that she wasn’t surprised in the least that I needed “bailing out”.  I asked her to go to my house with her key, and I would tell her where to find my list of passwords.

When I logged into my email account there was a message from Lyft that the driver had found my phone.  Somehow I was able to contact him and beg him to bring my phone back to me.  Lyft charges a $15.00 returned item fee.  I paid that and tipped him $20.00.

At 3:15 a.m. I finally crawled into bed.  Exhausted

At 4:45a.m, there was a knock on the door.  It was the front desk guy Brent.  He had spent most of the night/morning outside smoking with me while I tried to get my phone back.  He promised that if he didn’t see me surface from the room by 4:45 he would “bang” on the door.  He had also set up coffee and set out some of the cold breakfast items even though they don’t start breakfast until 6.  Yes I wrote an outstanding review for him and the hotel.

Grace: “T” We need to get going

“T” (from the bathroom), I’m working on it.  I’m gonna need you to help carry some of my bags.

Grace:  Growl….BAGS?!?! As in multiple?!??!?! How am I supposed to carry anything while I’m in a wheelchair?!?!

LOTS of cuss words

probably even a few more

I don’t even remember her response.  I loaded all 3 of her bags and my one bag onto the wheelchair and headed to the lobby to arrange the LYFT.

I’m going to insert a copy of the review that I left for Rosebud Taxi Service which explains in more detail how we ALMOST missed our train.

I am from the Chicagoland area, where Lyft’s are frequently used and also usually readily available. I made the poor assumption that they would also be readily available in Holland, MI. While I was able to use their services from the Amtrak Station in Holland to my hotel where I was staying, I was unable to locate a driver to get to the station at 5:30 in the morning. My companion and I were both traveling in wheelchairs, so I began requesting a ride using the lyft app at 5 am even though we did not need to be at the train station until 6:30. From 5 to 5:45am I could not find anything. At 5:45, our hotel receptionist had found the number for Rosebud Taxi Service. I called and explained our situation to a very nice gentleman, who not only apologized profusely that they wouldn’t be able to help with both chairs on so short of notice, but also gave me a phone number for a competitor who might be able to help. Who does that?!?! Wow! After speaking with his competition, I don’t think they are any competition at all, their response to my dilemma was, “sorry nope nothing we can do.” I went back to trying to obtain a ride from lyft, only to have the one driver cancel the ride because in his words, “I’m 20 mins out for a 4 minute ride, not worth my time.” I did explain that we would tip very well and would probably have to be transported separately. He said, “ no I’m cancelling.”
I think I literally cried to my companion to please call rosebud back while I continued to try to use the Lyft app with no luck. After explaining our tale of woe again, the owner of the company stopped what she was doing in her personal life and came to pick us up herself with a vehicle large enough to hold both of our wheelchairs. I have to ask again, “Who does that?” I am so grateful that there are people in the world who will still go the extra mile to help “rescue” someone in trouble. I truly feel that she “saved” us. It is also important to note that she didn’t charge us any extra for our additional “luggage or needs”. I wholeheartedly give Rosebud Taxi Service 5 stars and would recommend them to anyone!

I didn’t feel it necessary to add that the owner and T could/did not help me load the wheelchairs or luggage into the SUV.  BUT that’s when the BREAK happened. Everything happened in such a rush, I honestly don’t remember the exact point it happened.  Maybe I dropped one chair on top of the other?  Maybe I closed the seat on my finger?  In fact I am sure I did both of those things.

In the short 10 minute ride to the train station, my finger turned black.  Oh shit…. The ONE thing Einstein said before I left, “DON’T BREAK ANYTHING!!!”.  There was no doubt that it was broken :(.  Didn’t matter though, we had a train to catch.

I didn’t even try to use the wheelchair other than for baggage on the way home.  The fact that “T” was able to though without the use of her legs also supports that it is doable.

In closing, other suggestions I have for traveling alone in a wheelchair are:

  • pack as light as possible
  • print your tickets etc Do NOT rely on your phone
  • TRY to get some sleep.  (I’m pretty sure the 1 hour I got is what lead me to getting sick when I got home)
  • Plan for back up options should your original plans fall through.  (multiple transportation and hotel options.)
  • Know your limitations
  • Call your hotel or transportation method to check heights, dimensions etc.  It would not be unheard of to ask for pictures of your accommodations before committing.

As a side note, while the ADA suggests a bed height of 20-23 inches in handicap accessible rooms, although, it is NOT a requirement.

0726192149a