Do you have a funeral dress?  I do 😦  I didn’t realize it until this morning though.

I was raised that you wear ALL BLACK to a funeral.  I don’t know the meaning behind it, just that that is what you do.  After I showered this morning my hand instinctively reached for the one all black dress I own.  Tears came to my eyes when I realized that it has a pretty central location in my closet.  ( I didn’t have to dig it out)  That can’t be normal.  I am only 44 years old, and I have buried almost as many people in my life.  WTF?!?!?!?

As I pushed Einstein to get ready this morning, I realized that he doesn’t have a funeral dress, I mean funeral clothes.  This is the first time that he has had to bury a friend, and loved one.

I just sat on the floor and cried.  Finally let myself cry.

Of course I am not upset about a damn dress, but I am upset that I have been through this what I consider TOO GOD DAMN MANY TIMES.  I know what I am supposed to wear.  I know what I am “supposed” to say to Dan’s grieving wife, and kids.  Hell I even know how to comfort his traumatized dog.  Enough!  Enough Damn loss!!!!!  I don’t think my heart can take much more.

I have to go now and bury another friend.  Another life taken way too soon.   SMH

Dan’s obituary.  Doesn’t even begin to touch on the life that was his

update:  video of the military honors at the funeral  May he rest in peace