It’s 2018 WHO still talks on the phone?

~ msgracefulnot

I do!!!!…… but apparently I am one of few

Several months ago, I started a blog about why I talk on the phone or use Skype instead of texting.  The reason I had started to write about this subject is because I am always reaching out to new people, trying to get to know them, and my preferred method is IN PERSON.  BUT, since most of the people I have reached out to live halfway around the world, or at least several states away, the likeliness of that happening at this point are slim to none,  so……I ask to talk on the phone or to Skype.

To be honest, 80% of people I have asked to TALK to have turned me down for one reason or another.  In the beginning that hurt a bit, but as it happened more and more I realized that apparently it’s just not what people do.  Ok lesson learned.  Well kind of…… I have actually learned SEVERAL things

  1.  I am NOT “most people”.
  2. Face to face communication or at least voice to voice, IS MY preferred method of communication
  3. Just as people have their reasons for not wanting to talk on the phone, I have my reasons for wanting to.  It’s ok to disagree.  That’s what makes people different.
  4. I am completely ok with “No” as a response.  You don’t need to provide me with any explanation, if you are not comfortable with it you are not.  COMPLETELY FINE!!! 🙂

Before I continue though…..To anyone that I have tried to connect with that has told me no, I apologize if I made you uncomfortable, it was never my intention.  My intention was to get to know you better, in the only way I know how.

The reason I am FINALLY posting this is because I recently asked someone that I admire or respect to talk on the phone with me.  (Ok I suggested it numerous times.)  The final response I got was, “It’s 2017, who talks on the phone anymore.” and it kind of hurt. But after I put a band- aid on my feelings, and thought about it for a few moments and realized that they were right.  Most people Do NOT talk on the phone these days unless they absolutely have to, but I do!  and I thought it might be a good time to “explain” why.

Now to my original topic…

Why I like talking rather than texting…. (let me count the reasons)

 I rely on verbal cues and voice inflection when talking to another person.  I am very perceptive at picking up anger, boredom, sadness, and joy from the sound of someone’s voice.  I’m even better at reading facial cues….usually.  I just don’t get that from texting.  A great example…… a few weeks ago, my oldest daughter sent me a message on FB messenger asking, “So if we go to ‘fiancee’s’ family’s (out of state) for xmas this year do you want to do dinner another time?”  I was seeing her a couple days later, and responded “Let’s talk about it Friday, but yeah if you want to go, GO”. She responded, “Ok”.  An hour later, another message came through, “Are you mad or busy?”, she asked. GRRR fucking texting.  We were using messenger and she would know that I had seen the message,  if I didn’t respond she would automatically assume I was mad. So I shot back, “lol sorry kiddo buy”.  I meant to say/ type, “Sorry kiddo, I’m busy”, but I had my mother’s dog on my lap and I WAS busy”. busy with kona Oh great, now I mistyped something.  Was she going to think I said Buy (bye) instead of busy, because I was mad instead of really just busy?!?!?  SMH.   I stopped what I was doing, took this picture and sent the picture with the following message…. “I’m sorry kiddo, YES I AM VERY BUSY.  I am helping Nana with her laptop, Papa with his computer, and I have their new puppy on my lap.  Let’s talk on your lunch or on Friday”.

When we talked later on her lunch , I was able to repeat what I had originally texted to her “Let’s talk about it Friday, but yeah if you want to go, GO” with the inflection in my voice and she got it instantly.

With just those same short words coming out of my mouth (instead of my fingers) she understood that I sincerely wanted her to be happy more than anything else.  It would not bother me in the least. She knew that “I got” the fact that now that she was getting married, I would have to “share her”. I was even able to let her know that I appreciated her thinking about my “emotional well-being” ( remember my Thanksgiving was terrible)….. So misunderstanding or miscommunication is my first reason.

Another reason is because I am just not good at it. thumb surgeryPhysically not good at it.  Both of my hands are numb, so I drop the phone all the time.  I have had bones taken out of my both of my thumbs, and as a result they are VERY weak, so texting just sucks. I literally do not have the strength to cut my own nails.  😦

Ok so TRY talk and type, or speech to text?  ROFLMAO… been there done that.  To this day whenever I SAY “I LOVE YOU” to my children it is translated “I LIVE YOU”.  I have many more examples, but they really should have their own blog post.  When asking for help with this, my kids said, “Well mom, you have to enunciate better”.  I tried that, the phone typed E9C8…..so I give up. smh

Another reason is because I spend an ENORMOUS amount of time in my car.  Texting, facebooking, etc while driving is dangerous as hell (not to mention illegal, but since I have a lead foot problem we will stick with the dangerous part  :P) so except for the occasional “I’m sitting at a stop light text” , texting is not something I do while driving.

I think the final reason I still talk on the phone is, that it is my way of showing respect or genuine interest it what someone has to say.  ( I’m also weird in the way that I still make eye contact with people when I talk to them, although sometimes it is very hard)

So, if I ask YOU to talk on the phone or Skype, and you are not comfortable, please just say “No, I would rather not.”  Ok Cool!…No judgments opinions etc.  No means no, and I’m cool with that….

 

 

 

Published by msgracefulnot

So hard when someone says tell me about yourself...what do you want to know?

22 thoughts on “It’s 2018 WHO still talks on the phone?”

  1. You got me. Guilty as charged.
    First off, I hate phones. Even when hubby calls me, I’m like-what do you want. So, I suck. You don’t want to talk to me like EVER. I forget to call, I don’t hear my phone ringing, I don’t know where I left it. I’m simply not into it.
    Skype’s better but currently I have it only on my tablet which I can see now officially belongs to my kid. So, if I dare to touch it, he’d go crazy because it means no cartoons. Besides, he sleeps like 1 hour a day (has been suffering from insomnia, like his mom), so this short time alone I have I use to finish sth quickly, eat, cook his meal. Once he’s awake, NO, he wants my attention 100%. So, maybe we wait till he turns 18, and moves away, what do you say?
    Is that a good enough excuse?
    BTW, talking on the phone and driving is equally reckless.

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    2. If our friendship continues until your son is 18, I will meet you in person :P. You will simply be unable to resist 😛 I totally get it that phone time is not for everyone, just explaining why I prefer it. I’m very used to being “the odd man out”

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    4. As I read your reply this morning (precoffee) my first thought was “I love it when bojana comments first thing in the morning…yah my coffee buddy”….i quickly typed a couple responses laughing as I envisioned having to share my tablet with anyone….(It wouldn’t go well) then I headed out the door. As the coffee kicked in and I read toms comment about all you had to do is say no….a lightbulb clicked on above my head…..oh shit did she think I was talking about her?….did I just put my foot in my mouth??!?! Etc etc… I wanted to call you and try to explain that ….this and that….and then I stopped and realized this is why I hate texting….did I mention I suck at it?!?!

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  2. Grace, I am among the guilty, as well! ✋

    One of my best friends in the world (I have a strong collection of BFITW) calls me all the time, because he hates to text. He’ll call me 3, maybe 4 times, in a row before I finally text him back and say “did you just call me?” He hates it. But he knows I hate talking on the phone just about as much as he hates to text, so we worked out a compromise. He leaves voice mail. I text back. When I really need to get a hold of him immediately, I call, it shocks the hell out of him, we make it short. Same vice versa with texting.

    I’ll give you another example, since I’m late for work already. 😏

    Ever hear of the show “Inside the Actor’s Studio”? It started in 1994 and still goes on today, but in it James Lipton interviews famous actors in front of an audience of acting students and ends with a series of canned questions, one of which is “what sound or noise do you hate?”

    My answer to that question, from the debut to the common day, is … a ringing telephone. I hate it at work (and I’m in SALES!), I hate it at home, and I hate it on a crowded commute or middle of a mall. It just irritates me. It’s so immediate and demanding and everyone has to drop everything and say “somebody get the phone!”

    My phone makes no noise. No ringing. No beeps for tweets or texts or updates. A morning alarm is the only sound I allow it to make, and I wake up 99% of the time before it and shut it off before it ever sounds. I love my blissful silence.

    But we can be pen pals! 🙂

    P.S. I didn’t see a comment section on your About Page, but I wanted to tell you that I think it is the most thoughtful, self-aware, and complete About Page I have ever seen. You nailed it. Best ever, bar none. Now I want to scrap mine and redo! Kudos!!!

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    1. Pen pals it is 🙂 After reading your comment, I have to admit that when I worked in or around the phone, you couldn’t get me near one when I wasn’t at work, (man that feels like a lifetime ago.) The rule I have with my kids ( yes I am still mom, I still get to make the rules, or so I tell them) if they insist on trying to have a conversation with me via text I will send a couple (usually 2 max responses) then I will call them….so it works

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    1. lol now I do do that…..kind of… I do it to keep the peace….like when I could see my kids struggling with confrontation or something, I would text them….DO NOT SAY WHAT YOU ARE REALLY THINKING….or un- clench your fists…etc… but no not full conversations by any means

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  5. HAHAHA! Your comments section was as entertaining as this post!

    I totally understand what you mean about talking on the phone. It’s definitely a higher level of conversation than just texting. You can hear voices, tones, and a lot of other verbal cues that don’t translate in text messages. Sometimes, I prefer to talk on the phone. And when that happens, I like to schedule it. My friends think it’s weird but it works, cause then I schedule a phone call while I’m driving and that’ll force me to not think so hard about what I’m saying. And when I get to my destination, I have the perfect excuse as to why I need to get off the phone!

    I’m like you. I prefer in-person conversations as well. My friends are far away and I hardly get to see them, so we communicate mostly by text messages and occasional phone conversations. Two of my friends do not like texting, so we talk while I’m driving. Everyone wins.

    I sometimes unintentionally discourage people from calling. I’m friendly in person, but on the phone, not so much. My tone is usually like, “What do you want?” I honestly don’t mean it!

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