Calling all Dog owners

Many of you know that Snuff is no longer with us.  I knew it was going to hurt like hell, but I had not counted on the additional pain of watching D.O.G. mourn Snuff.  FUCK!!!!

How do you help an animal grieve the loss of another?

When we got home from the animal hospital that night, D.O.G. was laying on the towel that snuff had been laying on that night.  She wouldn’t move.  She wouldn’t go outside, she wouldn’t eat, and didn’t even want to be cuddled.  Like me, my dogs are wanderers or travelers.  They have beds, bowls, and favorite spots at my house, Einstein’s, and at Thing Two’s.  Even though we don’t always sleep at the same house, the dog’s have never been apart.

The next morning, when I moved my car keys, D.O.G. popped up and ran right to the garage door.  Was she looking for Snuff?  Did she think Snuff was at my house, or did she just want to be home?  Did she know snuff wasn’t coming back?  Did she hurt as bad as I did?  So many questions and emotions.  I decided to take her home.

When we got home, she almost tripped me to get into the house where she immediately went room to room in search of….?  When I let her outside, she went ran the perimeter of my yard as well.  Once she was worn out, she crawled up next to me in bed, and wouldn’t leave my side.  I’m not sure if being there helped D.O.G. or not, but I was not ready to be there without Snuff, so we went back to Einstein’s that night.

Thing two asked if she could pick up D.O.G.  the next night after work.  Her house would be the last place D.O.G. would associate with Snuff, so maybe she could begin to understand Snuff wasn’t coming back.

Have you ever had to help one pet grieve the loss of another?  What things have you found make it easier?  Were there things that didn’t help? I have tried to keep our routine as similar as possible (feeding time, walk time, play time etc)  Until a few days ago, I had not removed Snuff’s dishes or kennel and D.O.G. spent most of her time lying on Snuff’s bed.

To complicate matters, I found a flea on D.O.G.  Are you freaking kidding me?!??!?  I have had dogs, my entire life and have NEVER had to deal with fleas, ticks, mites etc.  So I turned to Google.  Big mistake!  Google had me convinced that we all needed to shave all hair from our bodies and that I had to burn my house down.  ( Ok that was only my initial reaction…but ewwww)

What I HAVE done after telling Einstein and Thing Two, is steam clean my furniture and carpet.  I have bombed (Raid flea fogger) my house 2 times, and washed all bedding and toys in hot water.  (this is the reason I broke down Snuff’s kennel) 😦  I have flea dipped D.O.G. and check her daily but I am overly anxious that it is not enough.  Have you ever had to deal with fleas?  What steps did you have to take to be sure they were gone?

I know I have alot of questions in this post.  I am feeling very overwhelmed at the moment.  I appreciate any suggestions you might be willing to share.

On a final note, Snuff’s ashes have been returned to me.  In addition to putting them in an urn, Einstein put some in a necklace for me and Thing Two and put some aside to be added to the tattoo I got of her paw print on my right leg were she always stood.

22 thoughts on “Calling all Dog owners

  1. Your new tattoo rocks my friend! Again, I am so sorry for your loss, it is so difficult.
    Yes, I have dealt with fleas and we were fortunate that it stayed on the dog and we used a tick and flea medicine on the dog and it was over……….dogs are warmer than humans so they prefer them! 🙂

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    1. So happy to hear that they are treatable, and sorry D.O.G., but I’m glad they prefer her. I shouldn’t be touching the tatt yet, but I do keep reaching down like she is there. Have a great week Wendi! Ty for commenting!

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  2. So very sorry you and D.O.G are going through this. It’s a really difficult time for your whole family. I hate to admit when my Rottie (Shelby Woo,the woozy floozy) was mourning her bud (Bubba) I got.ny dog a dog. I got her a pup. She was older and I was afraid the heartache would kill her. She didn’t eat and was very sad. Not saying it was the fix but he did help get her out of depression. She started eating and playing with the pup( Max). While old Max wasn’t my fav dog, he was a good boy, a rescue and added a lot of good times to our little family.

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      1. Get a senior dog or a mid-way dog from the pound. There are some that are already potty trained etc. The flea thing is unnerving but flea meds and bathing with a mixture of dawn dish soap, vinegar will cure that pretty quick. We have it down to a science with ours. After the hurricane for some unknown reason this area was infested with them in the grass, whick inevitably spread to the dogs. We got on it quick and have no problems. That mixture of soap and vinegar also makes their hair super soft and is good for their skin.

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  3. Here in Las Vegas, we don’t have fleas, but we did in California. The vet sells flea meds which are easy to administer and not overly expensive. I used to use Advantage or Frontline. Unfortunately, fleas can come from outside, but, no need to panic. So sorry for your loss.

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  4. Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t have any advice for how to help D.O.G.–it’s probably just time, like it is for all of us. Although I still get teary when I think of our last dog, who was so sweet–I still really miss her.

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  5. A curious consideration: the fellow mourning of a secondary pet. Parrots die of heartbreak. Geese mate for life. A dog who loses its friend… Maybe familiar patterns are not a good idea? Always expecting to see the other in old familiar haunts? Expectations and all that.

    Fleas? They live outside, feed and drop inside. If there are deer, raccoons, outdoor pets around your home, you’ll always have fleas about. A flea comb and alcohol water is the least invasive solution.

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  6. I love the new tattoo. Also I’ve dealt with fleas a few times but only once with a grieving dog. The only thing that worked was being there for her, giving her plenty of attention, and giving her time. Also if you worry a lot D.O.G. will pick up on that and it will make the process harder. If you move on–which i know isn’t easy–and get back as much as you can to life as usual that will reassure D.O.G.
    And fleas are just a fact of life, and dealing with them is similar: do what you can and move on.

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  7. Your tattoo is beautiful, really special way of keeping Snuff with you always. Same goes for having their ashes. When my friend opted to have her cat’s ashes, I instantly knew that was what I wanted to do for my old cat when his time came. It’s been such a comfort as we went through a tough time together. He didn’t know that, he was just a cat, but he saved my life so I’m keeping him! The only times I’ve had to deal with fleas is on cats and down to being complacent about preventative treatment. If you’re up for using a medical approach, I swear by Frontline and it sounds from the above comment that you can get it in the States. Never have a problem if I treat my cat regularly, though I usually break the treatment over winter unless it’s mild. So quick and easy to administer and by default treats their sleeping areas too, eggs and all :). I’m sure D.O.G. is getting as much comfort and reassurance from just being with you as you are from having her company.

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  8. My heart aches for poor D.O.G, that is so incredibly sad. I’m afraid I have no wise words of wisdom as I’ve never had two pets at the same time so it’s not something I’ve experienced. It sounds like you’re doing all you can to help reinforce that Snuff sadly won’t be coming home, and ditto for doing everything you can on the flea front. I’ve dealt with those – thoroughly cleaning everything, hardcore on the flea treatment & stick to a regimen with it, and hope for the best!
    That is so sweet with the ashes going into necklaces, and then soon a little to be added to the tattoo. Such a beautiful way to remember Snuff  ♥
    Caz xx

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  9. Oh, God, Grace, I’m sobbing. I’m remembering how I tried to help my kitty Pandora mourn the loss of Scummy. They were close in age, close in temperament, cuddled with each other, washed each other’s ears. where we saw one we saw the other. Scummy developed dilated cardiomyopathy, a disease that used to afflict many cats when their diet lacked in taurine. Since the cause and cure is now known, cats can be cured in even advanced cases. Scummy could not be saved. Pandora would not eat, she lost weight, could not would not be comforted. She almost died missing her Scummy. Finally I sent Panny to live with my youngest son away from anything that could remind her of Scummy. She did recover, but she never wanted another cat buddy. It’s one of the most heartbreaking times in my life, watching my beautiful Pandora grieve and not be able to help her.

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    1. Oh Barbara that breaks my heart!!!! I am glad you found a way to ease Panny’s grief and hope that your grief over losing Scummy has lessened. (I love their names by the way) Both D.O.G. and I keeping ourselves busy and shaking up our habits a bit. I was even able to leave her home for a few hours the other day while I went to cuddle grandbabies.

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      1. You and D.O.G. will recover, too. It takes a lot, but it happens. Panny a few years back joined Scummy on the Rainbow Bridge. I look forward to seeing them, if I ever make it.

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  10. Sorry I can’t help you with the pet grieving the loss of another pet question. We’ve always been a one pet at a time family. I bet it’s tough though. At least with a person they can tell you what is on their mind. Good luck to you both

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  11. Oh Grace, I’m so sorry and can totally relate. My big orange 13 year old tabby, Rusty, the alpha male, and first to the pack has been heartbroken since the day Kaiser passed. He was right there, he watched it all, and he watched them come and get K. We let him smell K in hopes he would understand, but his heart just broke right along side mine, along all of ours. They were buddies, best buddies. My Rusty is just not the same and I’d hoped he’d eventually get back to himself but I’ve realized now that might not happen. At first he was checking up on me all night long, every night, but that has eased a little. Now he sleeps at my feet or right under me under the bed. It’s terribly sad to watch, it sure does make you feel helpless, and even more heartbroken. Hugs to you both 💕 hopefully in time new routines will come to be and the pain will lessen.

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