It’s 2018 WHO still talks on the phone?

January 5, 2018February 9, 2018 ~ msgracefulnot ~ 22 Comments

I do!!!!…… but apparently I am one of few

Several months ago, I started a blog about why I talk on the phone or use Skype instead of texting. The reason I had started to write about this subject is because I am always reaching out to new people, trying to get to know them, and my preferred method is IN PERSON. BUT, since most of the people I have reached out to live halfway around the world, or at least several states away, the likeliness of that happening at this point are slim to none, so……I ask to talk on the phone or to Skype.

To be honest, 80% of people I have asked to TALK to have turned me down for one reason or another. In the beginning that hurt a bit, but as it happened more and more I realized that apparently it’s just not what people do. Ok lesson learned. Well kind of…… I have actually learned SEVERAL things

I am NOT “most people”.
Face to face communication or at least voice to voice, IS MY preferred method of communication
Just as people have their reasons for not wanting to talk on the phone, I have my reasons for wanting to. It’s ok to disagree. That’s what makes people different.
I am completely ok with “No” as a response. You don’t need to provide me with any explanation, if you are not comfortable with it you are not. COMPLETELY FINE!!! 🙂

Before I continue though…..To anyone that I have tried to connect with that has told me no, I apologize if I made you uncomfortable, it was never my intention. My intention was to get to know you better, in the only way I know how.

The reason I am FINALLY posting this is because I recently asked someone that I admire or respect to talk on the phone with me. (Ok I suggested it numerous times.) The final response I got was, “It’s 2017, who talks on the phone anymore.” and it kind of hurt. But after I put a band- aid on my feelings, and thought about it for a few moments and realized that they were right. Most people Do NOT talk on the phone these days unless they absolutely have to, but I do! and I thought it might be a good time to “explain” why.

Now to my original topic…

Why I like talking rather than texting…. (let me count the reasons)

I rely on verbal cues and voice inflection when talking to another person. I am very perceptive at picking up anger, boredom, sadness, and joy from the sound of someone’s voice. I’m even better at reading facial cues….usually. I just don’t get that from texting. A great example…… a few weeks ago, my oldest daughter sent me a message on FB messenger asking, “So if we go to ‘fiancee’s’ family’s (out of state) for xmas this year do you want to do dinner another time?” I was seeing her a couple days later, and responded “Let’s talk about it Friday, but yeah if you want to go, GO”. She responded, “Ok”. An hour later, another message came through, “Are you mad or busy?”, she asked. GRRR fucking texting. We were using messenger and she would know that I had seen the message, if I didn’t respond she would automatically assume I was mad. So I shot back, “lol sorry kiddo buy”. I meant to say/ type, “Sorry kiddo, I’m busy”, but I had my mother’s dog on my lap and I WAS busy”. Oh great, now I mistyped something. Was she going to think I said Buy (bye) instead of busy, because I was mad instead of really just busy?!?!? SMH. I stopped what I was doing, took this picture and sent the picture with the following message…. “I’m sorry kiddo, YES I AM VERY BUSY. I am helping Nana with her laptop, Papa with his computer, and I have their new puppy on my lap. Let’s talk on your lunch or on Friday”.

When we talked later on her lunch , I was able to repeat what I had originally texted to her “Let’s talk about it Friday, but yeah if you want to go, GO” with the inflection in my voice and she got it instantly.

With just those same short words coming out of my mouth (instead of my fingers) she understood that I sincerely wanted her to be happy more than anything else. It would not bother me in the least. She knew that “I got” the fact that now that she was getting married, I would have to “share her”. I was even able to let her know that I appreciated her thinking about my “emotional well-being” ( remember my Thanksgiving was terrible)….. So misunderstanding or miscommunication is my first reason.

Another reason is because I am just not good at it. Physically not good at it. Both of my hands are numb, so I drop the phone all the time. I have had bones taken out of my both of my thumbs, and as a result they are VERY weak, so texting just sucks. I literally do not have the strength to cut my own nails. 😦

Ok so TRY talk and type, or speech to text? ROFLMAO… been there done that. To this day whenever I SAY “I LOVE YOU” to my children it is translated “I LIVE YOU”. I have many more examples, but they really should have their own blog post. When asking for help with this, my kids said, “Well mom, you have to enunciate better”. I tried that, the phone typed E9C8…..so I give up. smh

Another reason is because I spend an ENORMOUS amount of time in my car. Texting, facebooking, etc while driving is dangerous as hell (not to mention illegal, but since I have a lead foot problem we will stick with the dangerous part :P) so except for the occasional “I’m sitting at a stop light text” , texting is not something I do while driving.

I think the final reason I still talk on the phone is, that it is my way of showing respect or genuine interest it what someone has to say. ( I’m also weird in the way that I still make eye contact with people when I talk to them, although sometimes it is very hard)

So, if I ask YOU to talk on the phone or Skype, and you are not comfortable, please just say “No, I would rather not.” Ok Cool!…No judgments opinions etc. No means no, and I’m cool with that….

Not winning the mother of the year award

December 28, 2017September 22, 2018 ~ msgracefulnot ~ 13 Comments

I will NOT be winning the “Mother of the Year” Award this year. Before you read please note that no children or animals were actually injured during the making or telling of this story….. I’m just a Dumbass?

Apparently this is a true story, but I have no recollection of the story or leaving her at the store.

How this was brought to my attention:

The other evening my youngest daughter (THING 2) and her boyfriend came over for dinner. I don’t know why our dinner conversations always turn into a “Let’s roast Grace” night, but they do. I am completely ok with that though, since it is cheaper than sending everyone to counseling, and I’m usually very good at laughing at myself.

Halfway through the meal, for some reason

Thing 2 says ” Well I can tell you one thing for sure, when I am a parent, I WILL NEVER leave my daughter at Walmart.”

Grace: I didn’t leave you at Walmart. I told you to get out of the car because you were being a monster and I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I let you out, and drove to the back of the parking lot.

Thing 2 : No mom, we were in the store and you walked outside and moved the car to make me think you left me there.

Grace: What are you talking about THING 2 ?!?!? I didn’t even go in the store with you, you were being a bratty teenager so I dropped you off and said I wasn’t going in.

Thing 2: No MOTHER, I was 8 years old, and you walked out of the store leaving me there.

Grace: No way would I ever have left you. I do see me walking away if you were throwing a tantrum, but I wouldn’t have left.

Thing 2: Okay so you didn’t ACTUALLY leave me there, but you did go outside and you DID move the car.

Grace: Hmmm I don’t remember that. It is possible. But I don’t remember.

At this point Einstein and Thing 2’s boyfriend are joining in the harassment (comical, but still harassing)

Grace: Well I don’t remember that at all, but I was talking about the time when I told you to get out of the car at Walmart because you were being a bratty teenager, and I wasn’t going in the store with you.

Thing 2: shrug… You’re right I was a brat. I still am, but you still shouldn’t leave your kids at the store…and you DID leave “Thing 1” there

Grace: OMG Thing 2, What the hell are you talking about?!?!?

Einstein wants to hear when I left HIS daughter at the store

Thing 2: You went shopping with Thing 1 and left her there.

More harassing about my parenting skills from Einstein and Thing 2’s boyfriend. ( please remember that both of my girls are in their 20s now and were NOT abused as children)

Grace: Ok, quit picking on me. I HAVE NEVER LEFT MY CHILDREN IN A STORE!….

Thing 2: Yes mom you did. You WENT to the store WITH Thing 1, finished your shopping and got it the car to go home. While you were driving, Thing 1 called you and asked where you were. You told her that you were just driving home from shopping at Walmart…. you completely forgot that you had taken her with you and you LEFT HER there.

Grace: Silence…followed by NO??????…. more silence….No fricking way!

Thing 2: Do you want me to call Thing 1 to ask her?

Did I mention NO Fricking way in hell I forget that I had gone shopping with my kid, let alone EVER leave one of them at a store?!?!? Einstein and Thing 2’s boyfriend started chanting …”Do it…Do it…Call thing 1 NOW!!!!

Grace: Yes go ahead and call her. SMH…..

Thing 2 dialed the phone and put Thing 1 on speaker….

Thing 1: Hello

Thing 2: Hi thing 1, do you remember when you went shopping with mom and she left you at the store?

Thing 1: Yeah, Why?

Grace: Seriously?!?!?!? NO FUCKING WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She said “Yeah, why?” like it’s something I did all the time. Apparently, a couple years ago, we went to Walmart TOGETHER, got separated, and I didn’t think anything of it. I finished my shopping and went home. When I was halfway home she sent me a text saying “where are you” (meaning in the store) and I responded ” I just finished shopping at Walmart, and I’m on my way home”…..

Thing 1: Um Mom, did you forget that I went to Walmart with you?

I am still shaking my head about this. I honestly don’t remember the event at all, and I would think that it would be one of my bigger fuck ups. The girls have no reason to lie though. I guess I won’t be getting a mother of the year award anytime soon. 😦

Have any of you ever done something you can not possibly fathom you doing and don’t have recollection of? ( without influence of drugs or alcohol) Please share your story with me!!!!! Misery loves company….. I should add that later that same day Thing 1 sent me this meme….

“Renaming my children”

December 26, 2017February 9, 2018 ~ msgracefulnot ~ 15 Comments

Will someone “name” my children for me?

I have a story that I want to share sooooo badly, but it involves my children. I don’t use MY real name when I write, and I believe I should show them the same respect so as to not cause them a further need for counseling. JOKING!!! Kind of….

Anyway I can’t use their initials because: ONE that would be too obvious and TWO their initials are basically the same. Hell even a third reason… because after my oldest daughter gets married next year their initials WILL be the same. Well until my youngest daughter sprints off somewhere to get married in the middle of the night on any random day. ( I HOPE she doesn’t do that, but she does do her own thing on her own terms, so you really never know what to expect)

Ok so initials are out.

“Oldest daughter” and “youngest daughter” are just too many letters to type, and let’s face it, kind of boring too. Daughter One and Daughter two?…the same thing, with the additional problem of, “Why is she daughter one? Do you love her more? She always gets everything first…..It’s not fair!” blah blah blah. WELCOME TO BEING A PARENT OF DAUGHTERS!… If you are “new to my life” my kids are in their 20’s… just an Fyi… but I digress

“Kiddo” doesn’t work when a story involves both of them, and it’s really not personal since at one point or another I call everyone under thirty “kiddo”.

THIS from a person that hates labels?!?!? Hating labels is the reason I can’t use adjectives to “name” them. Well the main reason at least. Both of my children have very strong personalities, but labels don’t really fit them. My oldest daughter is a bit more focused than my younger daughter about things in general, but I think that is simply because she is older. My youngest daughter is like a dog with a bone WHEN she chooses to focus.

So now I am back to square one. What the hell do I “name” my children?

Maybe I let them name themselves? Both of them at one point or another have told me how much they hated their names, or the way I spelled them. (of course NOW, 20 YEARS LATER…. they have finally adjusted to them and I can go so far as to say they may even like them)

I did briefly think about just using their real names, but then the paranoia of “OMG you are leading some crazy nutjob pyschopath right to your, or their door kicks in” so that is not an option. While I TRY to use a filter when I talk, I inevitably end up offending someone for some reason and I never want my kids to have to deal with that. It’s MY LIFE that I am putting out there for the world to see, not theirs. So now I am seriously asking for advice. WHAT DO I NAME MY CHILDREN?

Merry Christmas- Hugs, Coffee, and Bailey’s for EVERYONE!

December 24, 2017February 9, 2018 ~ msgracefulnot ~ 5 Comments

After I made my Thanksgiving terrible this year, I decided to not to make any plans for Christmas. Literally NO PLANS! 😀

DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR ME, because I don’t.

I am having an incredible, much needed relaxing yet productive day.

I woke up this morning after a great night’s sleep, grabbed my first cup of coffee (YAH I remembered to set the coffee maker up last night), opened the blinds and saw SNOW!!! I just stood there and smiled for a moment. I honestly have NO IDEA why I always hope for snow for Christmas, but I do. I drank my entire cup of coffee, just standing there feeling great. YAH snow for Christmas!!!

As I enjoyed my second and third cups of coffee in MY PAJAMAS, I received and responded to a few “Merry Christmas” texts and sent a few of my own. I rambled out a bit of a blog post and filed it for later. Somehow the dishes are done, laundry is done, house is cleaned, bills are paid. (I know that I am the one did everything, but it wasn’t stressful.) I didn’t have 20 places to be at the same time or a strict schedule to follow, I just let it happen.

After being up for a few hours, I realized that I had forgotten to pick up cigarettes and would be out by tomorrow. 😦 ugh going out on Christmas eve, having to DRIVE in the snow 😦 and 😦…. doesn’t matter I GOT THIS!! Already armed with the knowledge that there were going to be idiot drivers in a hurry, and pushy people in the the stores, I donned my lightweight “dealing with people armor”, put a smile on my face, and headed out the door.

As I backed out of the driveway, my NO TRACTION light came on in my car…shrug…. STAY FOCUSED…… get your cigarettes and you can go back home!!!! The drive to the gas station was just a drive ( actually there were 3 people in the ditch already, but that’s really nothing new). I stood in line to purchase my cigarettes, exchanged pleasantries with the cashier, and when the woman behind me in line started bitching about the line I turned around and HUGGED her. I looked her in the eyes, and told her to be careful while driving today, and that I hope she had a great day.

I don’t think she responded to me in any way, if she did, I don’t care. I wasn’t giving anyone the power to make this a bad day for me.

As I drove home, my car fishtailed a bit and I embraced it. I even did it purposely a couple of times just because I could.

I am home now. I plan to spend the rest of the day UNPLANNED. I am wearing my favorite Tshirt. I have coffee and cigarettes….and um I also grabbed a bottle of Bailey’s Irish Creme while I was out 😉 The music is on and I am passive aggressively subjecting Einstein to my playlist. (Not my fault he chose to stay home on Christmas as well).

I wish everyone a Happy Holiday. If you do have to deal with snow, people etc, please be safe. I’m sure I will have some kind of “adventure” to write about soon.

HUGS, Coffee, and Bailey’s for EVERYONE!

No Pole Dancing Here

December 22, 2017September 22, 2018 ~ msgracefulnot ~ 17 Comments

As I begin to write, I’m stuck on a name for this post. Officially it should be No Good Deed Goes Unpunished Part II, click here for part one ,but as I am thinking about how my “I only have ONE doctor today, so I am going to spend the rest of the day relaxing day”, turned into time at the Village Hall, a police report and a call from my State representative’s office regarding that damn utility pole issue, I am at a loss for what to call this post. Mi vida loca? Don’t visit your daughter’s house? Keep Walking Grace etc etc. Oh and I should probably mention that in all that chaos, I never even made it to the doctor’s office. I forgot to call which is so uncharacteristic for me they called me three times to see if I was ok…..SMH

So yesterday morning, as I was having my coffee, fantasizing about my relaxing day, I remembered that my daughter had an important meeting that afternoon. I thought to myself, “I should call and amp her up for this”. I knew she was nervous about the meeting, and it might be helpful to try to boost her confidence. Then I remembered who I was talking about, my kid? she wasn’t out of bed yet. If I called her, she was gonna to first yell at me for waking her up. Next she was going to say “I KNOW MOTHER”. and so on and so on.

Ok Plan B. I would instead call her neighbor (my old neighbor and walking buddy) to try to convince her to take a walk outside in our barely above freezing temperature weather with me. (ANYTHING beats walking on the treadmill and you only live once right?) Fortunately for me, she was game. Ok maybe unfortunately for me, because this started the ball rolling.

I sent my kiddo a text explaining that I was going for a walk with “L” and that I was going to pop in while I was in town if that was ok. Surprisingly she responded OK, (better than K or FINE MOTHER) and I headed out the door. I parked in my old driveway, headed over to L’s and we started to walk. While walking we played the “quick tell me everything that has happened in your life in the past 3 weeks game”. ( I really have to work on keeping in touch better) Finally the conversation turned to Frontier. She explained to me that she had called the utility company 4 different times and they had sent out 4 different people to “access” the situation. Each time a new person came, they brought a bigger truck, but no one actually did anything. HUH? WTF?!?!? When she was done telling me about all the calls, and looked at me with pleading eyes, I blurted out…. “Do you want me to take a turn, or carry the ‘ball’ for a little bit?”

L was MORE THAN EAGER to hand me pages of notes, ticket numbers etc. We finished our walk, I wished her well on the road trip she was taking that day, said hello to my kiddo, gave her a quick but unnecessary pep talk, grabbed my phone to take some pictures and headed out the door.

As I walked around the house, trying not to trip on the wire that was hanging down, this is what I saw…… As I got closer, I realized the wire on the right seemed to be the only thing holding the pole up….. um that wire is connected to MY HOUSE. MY house is holding up the pole?!?!?!? UN NO!!! (my house, my daughters house same difference… long story for another rant)

Now I was pissed! Seriously?!?!??! While Frontier was out doing “nothing” they couldn’t have at least cut the phone line so it wasn’t damaging my house?!?!? I was going to call them right then and there but hey guess what….only 16% battery left on my phone…..argh. (I had a brief thought that I should get a landline since my cell phone battery is always dead, but I assure you it would never be from Frontier) Instead, I would go home, charge my phone for a bit and call frontier from my couch.

As I left my old house, I had to drive by the Village Hall….hmmm wth…”maybe they thought I was exaggerating when I had originally called about the line?” I decided to stop in and show them pictures. Yah Yvonne was working again, and she did remember my original call to their office. I insisted that she look at the pictures on my phone before my battery died. When she saw them, she admitted that it was worse that she had imagined and was surprised as hell that no one had done anything. She asked me to email her the pics and she would see if she could help.

I put my phone on the charger while I was driving home. (I finally had enough battery to email the pictures but probably not enough yet to fight with Frontier)…… As I sat watching the phone waiting for it to charge ( yes the whole watched pot thing) , it occurred to me that someone was going to have to fix my soffit. I wasn’t climbing on a ladder again to do it. Shit this probably meant a homeowner’s claim etc etc. Which would probably mean a police report needed to be filed……OMG!!!! So much for the relaxing day.

I called the non emergency number for the sheriff, where the operator advised me that yes I should file a report, but I would have to be at my/ my kiddo’s house to do it. Fine Fine…back in the car…. I let my daughter know the police would be coming and what I had transpired. (she wasn’t suprised) I let my old neighbor know I would be coming back by if she wanted to add anything to the report. ( she just laughed and laughed)… Ok well I volunteered right?

When the officer arrived and we were walking around the side of the house, he literally pulled me back to keep me away from a possible live wire. I couldn’t resist, and reached out and grabbed the phone line, telling him “don’t worry it’s JUST A phone line.” The look on his face…. PRICELESS.… but I digress….

The officer accessed the damage and identified all of the utility lines and then informed me he couldn’t take a report for property damage because there was no criminal intent…… You have got to be kidding me?!?!?!??!

What about negligence and and and?!?!? When I stopped ranting I realized he was just standing there smiling at me. He couldn’t officially file a ‘property damage’ report, but he COULD and WOULD be contacting Frontier himself insisting that this was a hazard and they needed to come out immediately. (ok ok touche, he got me back for grabbing the line)

The officer sat in my driveway making his phone calls. ( I guess snuff is pretty scary looking, especially when I am stressed) He gave me a ticket number, follow up phone numbers, and his word that someone should be out soon, since he had declared it an emergency.

I still had an hour before I had to pick Einstein up from work, so I chatted with my daughter’s boyfriend for a bit, and then received what I thought was a telemarketing call from IL Representative so and so’s office telling me that the Village had filed a claim against Frontier and that they would be stepping in to handle this.

SHOCKED EXPRESSION PICTURE HERE!!!! (I’m sorry I am really to tired to search for one), but I will update this when I’m feeling better.

I think I am still kind of shocked. I never expected this to get this big. Seriously?!? Someone finally heard me?!?!? It’s only been a month!!!!! snarl grrrr etc. But someone who could actually get something done was getting involved?!?!?!? Wow! Awesome!!!

I drove home feeling ecstatic. (Ok exhausted but ecstatic too.) I had the best intentions of writing an incredible blog post, about another adventure and the fact that there are good people in the world, and the squeaky wheel…something or other, and and and….. but I crashed….. I fricking hate slump week!!!!! Oh well there was always tomorrow right?

So today is “tomorrow”. My old neighbor said the pole still looks the same, but the State Representative’s office called to tell me, that it would be resolved today. She really is a great lady. She made sure I had her email, phone number, alternate number etc. It still surprises the hell out of me when a complete stranger goes the extra mile just because. Over the next week, I will have to write a Thank you letter to her, because she was so helpful, but for now I wait. We shall see. Now I am all done writing and I still don’t have a title for this post…..Any suggestions? Please?